Act of Faith or Act of Fear?

9. Is this an act of faith OR is it an act of fear?

When I live my life rooted in faith, faith that things will work out, faith that the universe will provide... I am facing the future, facing the flow of the river and open to whatever might come. There is excitement in that and trust!

When I live my life rooted in fear... I am firmly gripped by the past, rooted in my fear of rejection, fear that things won't work out, fear that I will be alone, fear that people won't like me. There is only fear in that... fear and insecurity and mistrust... and it is a yucky place!

So, for me particularly, I need to recognize that when fear shows up, I am being encouraged to flip around in the river and face the future and trust. It can show up in something as simple as not opening an email from a friend, because I haven't communicated with them in a while, and there is a niggling fear that they are going to tell me to buzz off... go figure, eh?? And so even though that is a small thing, I am clear that when fear shows up, I have a choice before me... to give in to the fear and stick with the past, or to step out and seize the moment and have faith it will all turn out!!

So on this New Year's Eve... I am committing to asking myself this question in the New Year... over and over again... and choosing faith rather than fear!

Self-love or Self-sabotage?

8. Is this an act of self-love OR is it an act of self-sabotage?

A very good question! Are the choices that I make demonstrating that I love myself, all of me, that I care about myself, and that I am taking care of myself?? Or are they acts of self-sabotage... taking me farther away from self-care and taking me farther away from my dreams and desire and vision?

If I can't love myself... how can I love others? If I look for love from others to satisfy my own need for love... it will never work. If I love myself, though... that love will shine out for others to see and will even increase their capacity for self-love...

This is apparently one of the most difficult ones... to practice self-love... I know that I'm not always very successful at it! I was doing pretty good with exercise during the summer but now I've slackd off... I am doing good with not drinking Coke... not so good with chocolate at the moment (Christmas is a bad time!)... I am taking time for myself each day to go to Starbucks and have a hot chocolate and read a book... It is a outing, a time for me, free of all the distractions like email and dishes and laundry... Time just for me! So... a question... am I choosing self-love or self-sabotage??

Empower or Disempower?

7. Does this choice empower me OR does it disempower me?

When we are empowered we feel strong, alive, clear with a vibrant energy. We are in the flow... there is a deep inner knowing that we are exactly where we need to be. We are in balance...

When we are disempowered, we feel off balance, out of sorts, insecure, inadequate and resigned. We might feel hopelessness and mistrust, not even trusting ourselves...

I've experienced both and would much rather be in a place of empowerment than one of disempowerment!! There is much more of a sense of flow and peace and just all-round joy when I am in a place of empowerment... And the other is just yucky!

So, before I make a choice, I need to decide, given my goals and desires and dreams, will this choice empower me and support me in moving forward in the direction of those very same things... or will it disempower me and keep me stuck and moving farther away from my goals?? How committed am I to my stated desires, goals, vision??

A Catalyst to Grow or Beating Myself Up?

6. Will I use this situation as a catalyst to grow and evolve OR will I use it to beat myself up?
This is another good one! Things happen in our lives, not always the way we would want them to happen... And sometimes we don't even want some things to happen. But, guess what... they do happen! That is often beyond our control. What is within our control is what we do with it! Can we accept that right now, whatever is happening, is exactly what is supposed to be happening, and that somewhere in all of that mess and suffering, there is an opportunity for us to grow and evolve and transform? It's all in our perspective... We can look at things as if they are being done to us and we have no control and we should have made different choices and we should have... and we should have... Or we can shift our perception, shift our lenses and look to see what this experience can teach us today.

This is a challenge!! At least for me... But I'm beginning to recognize that I have a choice in each and every situation and encounter and interaction... I am the one who can decide how I am going to react, how I am going to hold things... how I will interpret things... I can interpret things as being "crappy" or I can look for something else in there... a learning... a deeper meaning...

Add to My Life Force or Rob me of my Energy

5. Will this Choice Add to My Life Force OR will it Rob Me of My Energy

Taking a look at life, what are the things that rob us of our energy?? What are the things that don't add to our life force. If we think of our life force as a roaring fire within us, there are things that either add to it, or things that diminish it. Being stuck in the past, focussing on old regrets and hurts, nurturing resentment against what people have done to us... all these things rob us of our energy...

When I look at my life... what are the things that rob me of my energy... not exercising... eating Cheezies... watching too much TV (and I know what too much is for me!)... not answering emails or letters promptly... holding resentments against others... having a messy desk... not doing things for "me"... All these things drain me of my energy and keep me stuck... I don't want to live like that!!! And so then the question is... what are the things that add to my life force... exercising... eating right... doing youa in the mornings... writing my morning pages... writing (period!!)... keeping a tidy, organized workspace... answering things promptly...

So whenever I am faced with a life choice... it is another good question to ask... Will going for a hot chocolate at Starbucks add to my life force or rob me of my energy???

I really like these questions!! I find that I am starting to ask myself them as I go through my day. When I am (often!) tempted to postpone an email response or something... I take a quick look and know that it is going to be something that's going to drag at me... so better to clean it up now and keep moving forward!

What's Right or What's Wrong

4. Am I looking for What's Right OR Am I looking for What's Wrong?

Oooh this is a really good one!! Because we are trained almost from birth to notice what is wrong in a certain situation. But when we look for what's wrong in a situation or a relationship, we feel bad, resigned and disappointed. Looking for what's wrong makes us feel like shit! We're looking for all the ways in which things "should not be"... instead of accepting things for how they are. But when we look for what's wrong, perhaps the wrongness does not lie out there... but rather within ourselves, within the lenses through which we look at the world!

Looking for what is right takes practice, but when we do it, we feel good, strong and worthy. And all it takes is a shift in perception... Instead of looking for what is wrong and blaming others... what if we refocus and look for what is right!? What is right about this person or this situation? What do I love about this person... what do I appreciate about this person?? How could this situation be a great blessing for me today!? Who knows what might show up for us?? And all it takes is a shift in our way of thinking, a shift in our conversation... our internal conversation... A shift from looking for what is wrong to looking for what is right... Might make all the difference in the world!! And for me, this is an easy one to remember... Now... to put it into practice!

Standing in my Power or Trying to Please Another

3. Am I standing in my power OR am I trying to please another?

Can I honour myself, stand in my own power, even though it means going against popular opinion? Or give away my power trying to please someone else... Living from my power, standing in my power, means honouring myself, living a life of integrity, following my soul's desires (not someone elses'... MINE!). It means being alligned with our highest self and trusting ourselves enough to follow our hearts... even if it disappoints someone else...

When we are disconnected from our integrity, we feel timid and intimidated... Whenever we try to please another and forsake our own truth for theirs, we relinquish some of our power. And when we're not being true to our personal integrity, we disconnect ourselves from our innate intelligence and our intuitive wisdom... That inner voice that tells us things aren't quite right...

In order to stand fully in our power, we have to become comfortable with confrontation... Pleasing others is a habit we developed when we were young, but it doesn't serve us as adults! We give away our power for the approval of others... we damage ourselves... and creating a heck of a lot of resentment, often towards the very people we are trying to please... Resentment is a great indicator that you're giving up your power... or have given up your power... And guess what... choosing what is best for yourself is not necessarily "selfish"! Any time we forsake our own needs for the needs of another, we are damaging our relationship with that person... and ourselves...

And pleasing another is not the same as caring for another... But the truth is, we can't care for another if we don't care for ourselves first...

That's the synopsis of this chapter... wowsa... this is a great one for me... I've lived so much of my life trying to please others... wondering what others will think and trying to live up to their image of me... or what they think I should be... or what I think they think I should be... or something. Quite crazy really. So the litmus test for me is if I agree to do something or be something... is there resentment that develops... If there is, it's a pretty good indicator that I'm trying to please someone else and giving up my power. I'm not always sure how to stand in my power but stand in it I must!!

Long-term Fulfillment or Short-term Gratification

2. Will this choice bring me long-term fulfillment OR will it bring me short-term gratification?

Certainly a good question!! Not that there's anything wrong with having a hot chocolate every now and then. But if my long-term goal is to lose weight or eat healthier or whatever... then choosing a DQ Peanut Buster Parfait (yum!) isn't necessarily contributing to long-term fulfillment! Or if I want to travel to Spain in 2012 and do the Santiago pilgrimage... and I keep watching TV instead of jumping on the treadmill... well... short-term gratification definitely is winning out. So that is the question to ask... She also makes a distinction between instant gratification and instantaneous gratification... Really, is there any instant gratification, where it's gratifying and it lasts? Or is it all instantaneous, happens in the moment and when the taste of it wears off, there is guilt and bad feelings and beating oneself up??

Sigh... a good question to ask during Cheezie cravings... or ice cream cravings... And sure, I might know that what the good choice is... and yet I still have to choose it. It really does come back to those unspoken committments... am I really committed to a healthy body and lifestyle... or not!!

The Future or the Past?

1. Will this choice propel me toward an inspiring future OR will it keep me stuck in the past?

Yeah, going to take a look at the 10 Right Questions by Debbie Ford... Just reading this little chapter now and something she just wrote struck me... We are never standing still, we are never stagnating... we are always moving in either of two directions... towards the past or towards the future. Even choosing to do nothing is a choice...Fear keeps us moving into the Past, afraid of what the future might hold. The future holds our desires, our visions, our imaginings... everything that inspires us and moves and calls us... We might think that it is the big choices that make a differerence and that small choices don't make a difference... but 100 small choices in the wrong direction can add up quickly... the cost of not returning a phone call or paying our bills late or of eating one bag of cheezies and drinking one Coke... What does it sound like?? "I'll start tomorrow. It's too hard. It's not important. It really doesn't matter. I can't change. Things are OK they way they are. What if it doesn't work out??" Bullshit.

I have a gift for writing... I love to write... I have a vision of me as a writer with many books published.... Every day as I sit here and debate what to do... whether I should write or whether I should do something else... So the question is... will I choose the future or will I choose the past. I'll know because when I choose the future, I am energized, inspired, filled with passion and excitement... like when I am writing these blogs! And when I choose the past, I am fearful, confused, despondent, lacking direction, unsure and unsafe... I have the choice... I am the only one who can choose... As a friend once said "choose life"!!!

The Right Questions

Ah yes... I didn't share the Right Questions yesterday from Debbie Ford's book (The Right Questions)... haven't actually read that part of the book yet... But supposedly asking yourself these questions when faced with a choice will dodge the excuse and rationalization bullet and make it clear which action will ultimately move your forward... Would be interesting to try this for a month or so...

1. Will this choice propel me toward an inspiring future OR will it keep me stuck in the past?
2. Will this choice bring me long-term fulfillment OR will it bring me short-term gratification?
3. Am I standing in my power OR am I trying to please another?
4. Am I looking for what's right OR am I looking for what's wrong?
5. Will this choice add to my life force OR will it rob me of my energy?
6. Will I use this situation as a catalyst to grow and evolve OR will I use it to beat myself up?
7. Does this choice empower me OR does it disempower me?
8. Is this an act of self-love OR is it an act of self-sabotage?
9. Is this an act of faith OR Is it an act of fear?
10. Am I choosing from my divinity OR am I choosing from my humanity?

Supposedly these questions bypass the intellect and the emotions and if you ask yourself these questions, you will know the choice that will bring you life and the choice that will dim your flame...

Obviously, you're not going to ask all of these questions in a split second, but... even one or two will provide the results... Are these Cheezies going to bring me long-term fulfillment or short-term gratification?? Sigh... we know the answer to that! The question then is... am I person who is committed to living in the light, to feeding my flame, OR am I person committed to dimming my flame... Who am I really?? Who do I want to be?? Do I have a vision of where my life is going, or am I operating on auto-pilot??? She has a whole chapter on waking up from autopilot.... Yup, shift out of autopilot and zombie zone and living in a rut into something else, something that calls me to make choices that propel me out of the rut and into creating life rather than surviving life...

Great book!! And only $18.99 at Chapters!!

Book Junkie

Yup... another trip to Chapters this morning!!  They really do have the perfect combination... a Starbucks and a bookstore together and you can bring the one into the other... I can bring a book to the coffee table or a hot chocolate to the book shelves. Really quite a brilliant idea. Anyhow, I still had one of those gift cards in my wallet so had to (yes, had to!!) buy another $50 worth of books in order to save $10... (could have been more, but wasn't)... Bought just 3 books... pretty good when you think about it!

One of them is called The Right Questions by Debbie Ford... I'm already on page 60. The basic premise is this... whenever you come to a choice moment in life, and all of life's moments have them, there are 10 essential questions you can ask yourself that will support you in choosing empowerment over disempowerment... Absolutely fascinating!!!  Plus she has a whole chapter called "Exposing your Underlying Committments"... Anyone who has taken the RTS seminar series can relate to this!!!

She says that each of us has a flame burning within us, call it our life flame and the choices we make in life either dim the flame or feed the flame (sounds rather like the two wolves... for those of you who have heard that one)... And it is our choice as to whether we will do the one or the others... She lists choices that dim and choices that feed our flame:

Choices that Dim Your Light:

• Being around people who criticize you and can't see your magnificence
• "Should's"
• "Have to's"
• Perceived obligations
• Trying to be nice
• Trying to get others' approval
• Withholding communication
• Lying to yourself
• Gossiping
• Being Late
• Not caring about other people's feelings
• Comparing yourself to others
• Judging yourself
• Judging others
• Not taking the time to enjoy what you have
• Looking to others to make you happy
• Living in fear
• Withholding success from yourself
• Thinking that others are better than you
• Giving away your power
• Ignoring your deepest desires
• Overspending
• Overeating
• Overindulging
• Wasting your time
• Deflecting compliments
• Trying to be someone you are not
• Not setting strong boundaries
• Not having enough alone time
• Withholding love from your family
• Withholding acknowledgement from yourself
• Overexhausting yourself
• Ignoring your inner voice

Do you want the other choices now... or tomorrow??? OK... now it is!

Choices that Make Your Fire Roar!

• Having empathy for others
• Taking time for yourself
• Spending time with those you love
• Noticing what you have done well
• Resting
• Having fun
• Playing
• Exercising
• Eating well
• Spending your money wisely
• Planning for the future
• Being with people who inspire you
• Taking time to nurture yourself
• Doing what's in the best interest of you and your community
• Appreciating yourself
• Being honest with yourself and others
• Honouring your word
• Paying your bills on time
• Being compassionate
• Being intimate with those you love
• Making love
• Doing charity work
• Telling others how much they mean to you
• Doing what you love
• Going after your dreams
• Making choices consistent with where you want to go
• Dancing
• Forgiving
• Taking responsibility
• Looking for what's good
• Looking for what's right
• Doing a job well
• Being present for your children
• Caring for your partner
• Listening to others from your heart
• Receiving others' love
• Empowering those around you
• Allowing others to contribute to you
• Creating a powerful support system
• Speaking your truth
• Saying no

There you go... do an inventory and see where your fire's at!

Bible Blog 2

Well... it's a go... I'm on Day 3 and today I just posted a thing on my Facebook about the Bible Blog... so we'll see who pops up... I also sent an email to everybody under the sun... PG people, Newman people, RTS people, from BC to Manitoba and all the way to Germany as well (a cousin)... So, we'll see what sort of response I get... ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyhow... I've committed myself now... no going back... I've got a bunch of people who now know about this, so there is a high degree of intentionality for me to keep it going!

Wish me luck!!! I'm going to read some more pages now and post-date for a couple of days.... eek!

Hostessing

Growing up, our family really never entertained a lot, nor went out a lot. My Dad wasn't big into having people over, and my parents really didn't have a lot of friends that we would go out and visit. So... we didn't have a busy social calendar at Christmas time. Having no extended family in Canada, also meant we were pretty much on our own for the holidays.

As well, my mother really didn't enjoy cooking all that much. She says it's not a lot of fun because people don't enjoy what you cook and then it's a stress to try and have everything ready at the same time. Somewhere along the line, I picked up that thinking and her story became my story... entertaining is not fun! So... this year, we've already had two couples over for dinner, one pair on Wed and one pair last night. And it turns out, due to circumstances beyond our control, that I am the stay-at-home person at the moment, so you guessed it... I get to do the cooking for this entertaining. But... the funny thing is... I'm actually enjoying it. It isn't that much of a stress and so what if the people on Wednesday were 1/2 hour late... the chicken survived in the oven for a bit longer, the sushi appetizer (hand-made) was fine... And it all ended up being delicious... Even the BC wild-blueberry tarts for dessert were yummy!!! Of course, they are always yummy!

Last night was a bit more complex with baked brie for appetizer but a bit of googling and I was good to go... even made candied peacans for the topping... yeah... me... made candied pecans... go figure... And this pair were also 1/2 hour later than we were thinking they would be but 1/2 hour earlier than they thought dinner was at... But the fact that we were cooking steaks on the BBQ was easy to adjust.... And again, another wonderful meal... Go figure!!! I could actually get to enjoy this... maybe...

Bible Blog

Well... I did it... decided to post the cover to cover Bible blog... ahhh!!!! It's called The Quantum Bible - Cover to Cover... or quantumbible.blogspot.com... And I'm already in Chapter 10 of Genesis... so, motoring right along... already 0.55% of the bible read... Which doesn't look too bad... Anyhow I've committed to this and actually let blogger/blogspot post it on their lists and let it be found my search engines... so we'll see what comes of it... I certainly do set myself some projects to accomplish. For me though, it's like a completion, something that's been hanging around my space for 30 years or so and it's time to complete it. And who knows what will come out of those 365+ postings!!! I'm doing OK here in Genesis... be interesting to see what comes in Leviticus or Numbers... just keep reading!

Right now, reading the Divine Matrix by Geoff Braden and finding it a fascinating read... all sorts of fertile ideas cropping up... And that's the blog for this morning!

Gabriel Method

Did you know that your body has a mind of its own??? That it reacts to the things in your life? That it goes into fight or flight when you are faced with stress or fear or other triggers?? The thing nowadays is that we don't always have the chance to fight or flight, at least not physically, but our body just reads the stress and responds accordingly... For some of us, it responds to stress by deciding that the best way to handle that is to slim right down so that we can be as speedy as possible in the flight mode... It decides that that best way to keep us "safe" is for us to be slim and trim. So no matter what we eat, we don't really gain any weight. For others of us... our body decides that the best way for us to be "safe" is to put on weight, either because that will help us be better fighters (nobody picks a fight with the big person!)... or because our body senses that we are in famine mode... Nowadays, we don't always have a shortage of food (unless we are dieting), but we do experience lack in other areas, lack of love, lack of time, lack of... You name it... And our body doesn't distinguish between the stress of food famine or time famine... it just understands famine and starts packing on the weight...

Make sense??? It's the premise of a new weight loss method called the Gabriel Method by Jon Gabriel... He says that if your body wants to be fat, nothing you can do will make any difference... at least not in reducing your food consumption (i.e. dietting) or increasing your exercise. But if you can convince your body that it is safe and it is safer to be slimmer... the weight just falls off... He was 440 lbs and in a few years went down to under 200 lbs... without dietting or excessive exercising... So... what do you think?? I bought the book, read the book and it makes sense to me. He says there are things like emotional obesity and mental obesity, emotional and mental factors that contribute to our weight gain... The trick is to get our body on our side...

Cover to Cover Bible

Now... if reading the Encyclopedia Brittanica is not up my alley, how about reading the bible from cover to cover... that might be interesting. I remember trying to do that in High School. I had a blue copy of The Way version of the Bible, and it had a reading list where you could tick off the chapters/books as you read them... Would be kind of interesting to try it... I remember that I started that and got totally stuck and bogged down in Leviticus and Numbers... boring as heck... Wonder what I would find if I were to read it. Because the truth is, we really are sporadic when it comes to bible reading. We read some passages over and over again, either in Church, or because they are our favourites. Other passages we never read... ever... like the genealogies in Numbers... So, there is sort of a buffet approach to the Bible in our theology, read the passages that make sense and are readable and fit our notion of God and our theology. The rest we just sort of ignore... Pick and choose really... Perhaps that would be something to write about... Another book idea... How many books are there in the Bible... 70? 72?? Wikianswers says 73 - 39 in the OT, 7 in the Deuterocanonical OT, 28 in the NT... So... call it a chapter a book and we are at 73 chapters in a new book... What would it say?? Don't know... Overall summary and my take on it??? What do you guys think...

Another Chapter in the Chapters Saga

Yes... I went back to Chapters today and used my gift cards two more times (two more batches of over $50)... I have to admit I love the ambience in Chapters... any bookstore really, but Chapters has the added bonus of having a Starbucks. Nothing better than sipping a hot chocolate (with whipped cream and chocolate syrup) and having a stack of potential book buys stacked next to me... There is something deliciously decadent in being able to do that. I found a few more books... surprise!! Five of them in total and only 1 of them is a gift... at this point. They could all become gifts at some point. One of them is a non-fiction about a guy who decided to read the entire Encylopedia Brittanica (14 volumes - 65,000 articles, 33,000 pages) from cover to cover... He spent $1400 on the 2002 set and then started reading... Took him 2 weeks to get through the letter A... That was the book I read while I drank my hot chocolate... sounds interesting!! I can't imagine trying to read all that tiny print and all those paper thin pages!!! Mind you, I do read a lot... but that... nope, not my alley...

Chapters

Chapters is a bad store... very bad... I was in there a week ago and they were handing out gift cards. Buy over $50, swipe the gift card and you could get $5, $10, $20, $50 or $500 off your purchase (or as future purchases). So, I went wild and bought 2 batches over $50... And then the kicker is, if you come back after 24 hours and up until Dec 24 and spend another $50, you get another chance to win more money... Sigh... books and winning money, not a good combination for me... So, I spend quite a bit, mind you, I can justify it by saying that some of those were Christmas presents... Not the Divine Matrix that I am reading right now... but still!! Books are always a good thing I figure... the gift that keeps on giving. I have to admit this year, for Christmas, I recycled some of the books I've read and passed them along as Christmas presents... Sounds like a good idea to me... Could start a gift book... buy it, write in the cover when it was bought, then write in the cover who it was given to and when, and then encourage the next person to do that... could start a whole new trend!!!

Back in Time

Well, it's not true that you can't go back in time... at least not on a blog!! I've missed a couple of days here, so am writing this on Tuesday and posting it a couple of days ago... Time travel does exist!!! Ah well... I am reading a book right now called the Divine Matrix. Very fascinating. I'm only in Chapter 1, but the premise is that there is an underlying matrix that serves as a container for all that exists, and that we are part of that matrix. We are the canvas, the artwork, the painter and the brush... go figure... It does make sense to me in a weird sort of way... a very open-concept theology is required to get it to fit though! One thing he does say is that all time exists right now, so that everything that has happened in the past and in the future is happening right now... Some funky science ideas out there... and how do we bring that together with out concept of God and our concept of reality??

Arrival

Well, my blog posting of yesterday was very appropriate. Our flight out of PG was delayed about 45 - 60 minutes... There was a delay in it arriving, and then there was the de-icing which delayed us further. I had a 90 minute layover in Vancouver before my Calgary flight, but the Winnipeg trio only had a 45 minute layover before their flight to Winnipeg. We did spend some enjoyable time in the PG airport having a drink and chatting about the previous week. In hindsight, we should have had something to eat rather than something to drink!! By the time we arrived in Vancouver at Gate B16, we were edging up to my flight (10 minutes to spare) and were a good 25 minutes late for the Winnipeg flight... My flight was at Gate A4, the Winnipeg one at Gate A5, so we hoofed it! Alas, we were too late for their flight!! And my flight was delayed another 30 minutes, so I was actually OK!! Westjet gave each of the trio a hotel room, dinner and breakfast vouchers and space on the 9:15 am flight the next morning... My adventure however was not over... We boarded at 7:30 pm and then had to wait a bit beyond our departure time for extra luggage and people. We then had to... yes... de-ice!!! In Vancouver of all places!!! So, by the time we left Vancouver it was more like 9 pm... ah well... I arrived in Calgary around 11 pm, got my luggage, caught the Park & Jet shuttle... and then had the fun of digging out my truck from the snow dumps of the previous week. I was concerned about the battery and the cold temperatures, but little truck started with no problems... So... made it home at 11:50 pm... Tired and pooped!!! But glad to be home and in my bed!!

Embarkation

Today, our workshop concludes and I am heading home - PG to Vancouver to Calgary... There is snow forecast for Vancouver, a snowstorm in Ottawa, cold and snow in Calgary.... and we'll see how the flights go. A friend went home a few days ago and was supposed to arrive at 10 pm and ended up getting home at 2 am... So for me, today is all about patience, finding a good book and enjoying the time... whatever might come!! I do shudder a bit to think of what my truck may look like in long-term parking at the Calgary Airport - they've had snow all week and... well... it could look like a snow drifted igloo! But... I'll cross that bridge when I come to it...

Vulcan Philosophy - Part 2

The second statement of Vulcan philosophy that has always stuck with me is this: "The spear in the other's heart is the spear in your own. You are He/She." Whatever I do to another I am doing to myself. We are one. Whatever happens to another is happening to myself. We are One. It makes so much sense to me, ties in with all that I know and belief. And somehow it resonates more for me than the Christian belief of "we are the body of Christ". This notion that the spear in the other's heart is the spear in my own touches me to the core... And challenges me to live my life in a whole new light... out of a whole new experience... It challenges all of us!

Vulcan Philosophy Part 1

I never watched Star Trek growing up as a kid... I was too young when it was on originally in the late 1960s. Eventually, in 1982/83, I watched Star Trek 2: the Wrath of Khan (primarily because I was a fan of Ricardo Montalban from Fantasy Island!)... and I was hooked. I became a Star Trek addict, watching re-runs of the original series, tracking down novels and books and generally getting a serious dose of Star Trek. Along the way, I picked up an interesting mixture of worldview mixed with philosophy.

Star Trek taught me many things... one of which is that there are stranger things out there than we can imagine! And some of those things have become real in our lifetimes... phasers--tasers... communicators--cell phones & bluetooth headsets! To name just a few... There was an openness in Star Trek that drew me in, an inclusiveness of all differences.

It was voiced most strongly in one of the primary Vulcan philosophies: IDIC. This stands for Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations... An acceptance of all sorts of people, species, races... in all of their diversity and in all of their combinations. It always struck me that this sort of a philosophy was way more wide open than any of the "human" ones I had come across (granted - Star Trek was created by a human... but how many countries, religions proclaim that sort of an inclusivity??)... That philosophy has shaped me, has shaped my thinking, shaped my theology, shaped my way of viewing the world... I am richer for it!

The Wall

Today I was talking with a bishop and we were discussing the wall that Israel is building around/through/in Palesine. I was sharing how strongly it reminds me of the Berlin Wall, and of the ghettos that the Nazis created for the Jews. This bishop shared two things that he had heard from two different rabbis: One said that Judaism did not need the State of Israel in order to thrive. The other said that Judaism absolutely needed the State of Israel to survive... Two rabbis, two diametrically opposed points of view. The bishop also shared how most people who go to Israel/Palestine on social justice trips come back strongly pro-Palestinian... And pro-Palestinian does NOT mean anti-Semite... although that is how it is often  portrayed...

Wherever walls go up, whether they are physical, emotional, spiritual, racial, etc... we are cutting ourselves off from another aspect of ourselves... hurting ourselves.... But we continue to do it... When will we learn that walls solve nothing... and compound everything...

Cold!!!

I was all set to leave Calgary a few days ago and was only going to bring a fleecy jacket... luckily, someone convinced me that it could actually be cold here in PG! So, I brought a duffle coat, gloves and  scarf... Good thing, it was -23 C last night!!! I got a toque at Walmart and I think I am set. I have resisted getting long johns... so far so good. This morning I walked down to Starbucks and met a friend for hot chocolate and coffee... My plan for this week (leading a workshop here in PG)... is to walk down to Starbucks every day, getting there at 6 am and sipping a hot chocolate while reading a book. My plan is to have some time for myself and to spend some time regenerating! I can easily get stuck into the trap that taking time for myself is... a waste of time... I am trying to reconnect with the idea that taking time for myself is valuable and necessary... absolutely vital in fact!!

Conversations

I find myself more and more aware of my conversation... with myself. How hard I can be on myself... how negative and how much in a conversation of no possibilities. Whether about myself or about others. I am becoming slightly more clear that my conversation, the words that I speak, whether inside or aloud are creating my reality. My words have the power to shape the things that I encounter. If I expect to see "something"... then that is exactly what I will see. That is exactly what I will experience.

So, for me... it is always to be aware of my conversation, to be aware of what I am creating into my future, into my present, into my reality!

Making the Impossible... Possible!

I'm taking a training right now, for this weekend and reliving a the seminar series. Part of it is to come up with a project that seems impossible or beyond reach! A couple of years ago, my project was to write a book about my grandfather. That project is still in the works... and I have written another book, Unsung Heroines of the Bible.

But it got me thinking... what are some dreams/visions of mine that I have held but never fulfilled. So, I wrote some down!!

Learn Cross-Country Skiing - always wanted to... never have...
Canoe the Bowron Lakes - scarey!!
Backpacking trip - like real backpacking, with everything in a backpack... maybe up to Berg Lake in behind Mount Robson - don't know anything about backpacking... can I do it?

Those are just a few of them... When I think of them, I get excited and inspired, but then all the reasons why they won't happen or won't work come up... So, it is for me to step through that "stuff" and begin to create the project! Choose one and make it happen!!! I am excited and inspired to leap into something I didn't really imagine could be... other than just a pipe-fantasy... I am intentional about this!!

Musical Musings

I love music... Love writing to music, love listening to music. But... my tape deck in my truck (yes a tape deck!) isn't working... So, on road trips, I put 6 D cell batteries into an old ghetto blaster and use that for music. When I'm travelling to workshops, I sometimes take along my Walkman (tapes again!), but it's bulky and tapes are bulky and it is limiting. I never did move up to a CD Walkman... And now they are obsolete as well!

So, today I bit the bullet and went into one of those big-box electronic stores and bought an mp3 player - an iPod Nano! 16 GB of memory, enough for 4000 songs... That's about... 80 records or cds worth, so I figure that will do me. I could have gone for the iPod Classic which is 160 GB and room for 40,000 songs, but that seems a little excessive! As it is, this little nano is the size of... a couple of sticks of gum (the juicy fruit kind) and it can hold the equivalent of 80 records/cds!!! Amazing... I bought one in a fetching shade of violet/purple... Now, though, I learn that there are all sorts of accessories available. A case protector to make sure it doesn't get hurt... I didn't get those because there were too many options, but did buy thin screen film to protect the display screen. There are also arm band straps so I can strap the little thing onto my arm as I ride my bike or sweat away on the treadmill... I could buy small speakers to take with me... Could buy a docking station that allows me to charge it away from a computer (otherwise it charges when it's plugged into a computer).... I also need to download and install iTunes on my computer, so all my .wma files can be translated into mp3 files... I am excited though!!! I can have music on my trips... or I can put photos on there... or videos... or audio books... Wow... So many possibilities!!!

Scents and Smells

Today we went out and paid a ridiculous price for a Christmas tree - $120!!!! I have always gotten one from the bush, so this idea of paying that much for a tree is just outrageous! But... not much choice in the big city... unless we go for a fake tree but... no fun there!

I had this 9 ft tree stuffed in my 4-runner and wow... it smelled like Christmas in there. It's a balsam tree, the tree we usually got when I was growing up, and so, for me, the smell of balsam is the smell of Christmas. It's amazing how scents and smells can bring us right back to an experience... the smell of a fir tree and a crackling fire... with a few mandarin oranges... totally Christmas!

Having had artifiical trees for the last 4 years, I am looking forward to the smell of a real tree... It speaks more clearly of the whole Christmas atmosphere... Now, if I baked some cookies as well, that would complete the whole thing!!! Dare I give it a whirl??? I could bake the easiest ones... spritzgeback... and use the Christmas moulds... Maybe... we'll see how it goes!!! It does create a whole Christmas sense... I haven't baked cookies since I left my mother's house so... perhaps it is time to step out and enter the tradition!!!

Decluttering

Have you noticed how much stuff we've accumulated??? We are a people who set a lot of store on stuff, the things that we own, the things that we acquire, the things that are given to us. All of it, after a while, begins to weigh us down. I've been watching some of those house-buying shows on HGTV and I always find it fascinating how the guys want a two or three car garage for... stuff!! Not even for cars, just for all their stuff, bikes, surfboards, tools, workbenches, etc. etc. There's no room for a car at all! It's like the garage has become a massive storage locker.

I have to admit, I have a bit of a fascination with decluttering... For I too am a packrat, raised by a couple of packrats. But... I do enjoy keeping things organized! Mind you, that just makes me a disorganized packrat!! At the same time, I am shocked to watch the Hoarders show on A&E... Clearly, some people are more attached to their stuff than others, attached to the point that they will face eviction and damage to their relationships rather than give up their stuff... most of which is "junk".

So, every once in a while, I go through a bit of a decluttering purge and get rid of the stuff that I've been schlepping around for the last 20 years or 10 years or 5 years. Yes, at one point I thought, "it might be valuable someday!!" or "it might have value as a collector's item" or ... the best one of all "I might need it someday!". Truly... it really isn't worth the energy and effort it takes to haul it around, store it, move around it, etc. And I really haven't missed the stuff. But I am still a packrat at heart... always in development with decluttering!

Relearning Time

No, I don't need to relearn how to tell time... What I need to relearn is how to use time! Once again today, I felt as if there wasn't enough time for everything that I needed to get done. At one point, I was awaiting feedback via phone/email from a couple of people, and felt that I needed to sit by the computer for it to arrive. I got really cranky that I couldn't go out and do the things I had planned to do. In essence, I was creating that sense of no time... by stubbornly refusing to be a bit more flexible!

That's part of my personality type... wanting things to be done and complete now! Like, now!!! And if I have to wait for things to come together, I get a little upset. The learning for me is this... make my own time... relearn how to take back the time! I feel as if I have no control, and really, I am the only one who has control. Quite a nasty little illussion I can create in my life! So... time is my friend... I just need to be a bit more flexible in using it!

Christmas Shopping

Less than a month until Christmas and you would think I would learn that Saturday is not the day to go out and go shopping!! Alas... I braved the roads and the traffic and the crowds and went to one of the larger outdoor mall areas. Winners, Pier 1, Michaels, Superstore, Best Buy, etc... Apparently a lot of other people had the same idea!! Superstore was perhaps the worst and some aisles looked more like a bumper-car rink than anything else... As I felt my anxiety and frustration climbing, I kept reminding myself that patience was probably a more peaceful and fulfilling virtue to cultivate! By the time I left Superstore, I had way more than was on my shopping list but... I left in a relatively good frame of mind. Which is a bonus... Mind you, I did leave with a dozen chocolate chip cookies... the bendable ones... YUM!!! I had one as I was loading groceries and then another when I got home... At which point I looked at the calorie count and was shocked to discover that each cooke (1 cookie!) has 200 calories... Another hour on the treadmill at 8% gradient and 3.2 mph!!!

So, Christmas shopping... I think I am more or less good for most people... there are still a few odds and ends to pick up but there are still a few weeks left... Just remind me not to go on a weekend! I still need to get out to Costco (horrible parking/lines) and maybe Ikea and JYSK... We'll see how it goes... But... always remember, it is patience and courtesy and good humour that will get you through those days! I am going to cultivate that in these coming weeks... my declaration stepping into this season of Advent!

Advent

If you've been following the entertainment news... you know that there is a new movie out called 2012. It's a "end of the world" movie which is guaranteed to have geologists everywhere rolling in the aisles hysterical with laughter. It's a movie that is not... shall we say... grounded in scientific reality. At least not from the geological perspective (as a geologist... I can say that!)... It does play on the growing fascination with the year 2012 and the date of Dec 21, 2012. According to the Mayan calendar, this date marks the end of a chronological cycle (about 26,000 years long). So, it's sort of like the year 2000 was for us... just the end of a cycle of time and the beginning of another...

Mind you, there are others who believe that this date will mark a transformation in the consciousness of humanity, that it will be the end of our lives as we know them... the beginning of a new ear of enlightenment. Quite possibly. If you read Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Eckhardt Tolle, Neale Donald Walsch, Don Miguel Ruiz, or any of a variety of authors, you will find the stirrings of this new consciousness. Interestingly, all of them recommend/demand that individuals practice meditation or contemplation. This is a practice which we, in the Catholic Church, have heard much about, but which we generally ignore. We'd much rather be out there "doing" something, whether it's doing an activity or doing a prayer. Much more of a challenge for us to just "be" in the silence and stillness... to quiet our minds and connect with that deeper source.

Jesus tells us in the Gospel today (Lk 21:25-28, 34-36) that there will be much upheaval, but not to get caught up in it. We are called to be grounded in our sure knowledge of who we are as children of the divine... And that's not just a head knowledge... that is a heart knowledge... a gut knowledge. And it comes from connecting with the source... "Be still and know that I am God..." (Ps 46:10) has much wisdom for us today... Stop with the wordy prayers... get to the heart and be still... listen for that quiet, still, small whisper... not your thoughts about it... but listen to the silence... Who knows what you might hear...

Snow??

Having lived in northwestern BC, the lower mainland, north-central BC, as well as a few months in Edmonton, I've seen a lot of snow... and a lot of driver reactions to snow! Living in the north, we would always laugh ourselves silly over the Vancouverites and how 1 or 2 cm of snow would turn Vancouver into a snarling mess of traffic with cars in the ditches. "Those Vancouverites... they don't know how to drive in snow... they don't have snow tires!"...

Wellllll... here in Calgary yesterday... we looked a lot more like Vancouver than a city that knows how to drive in snow!! A little skiff of 1 to 2 cm of snow turned the streets into skating rinks. Collissions galore, cars in ditches, people abandoning their cars and walking home, hilly roads closed because they were too slippery (yes Calgary does have hills)... This is a city that gets snow, knows snow... and drivers presumably have winter tires and all that good stuff...

But... it is pretty much the first snow of the year (first weekend in October has already faded from people's memories)... and the first snow is always a shocking wake-up reminder to city-dwellers that we do live in a cold, relatively northern climate. People still think they can drive at their normal speed in these conditions and it takes a while for them to realize... "ah... it's winter!"... Sadly, one young man was killed yesterday on Highway 2 north of Calgary... leaving his vehicle and trying to get to the safety of a ditch.

People... slow down!!!

Snow!

It's finally starting snowing again here in Calgary! I was beginning to give up hope that we would have a winter but apparently that will not be a problem! We had snow the first weekend in October and nothing since then... at least not while I've been here. The roads are becoming treacherous and I am glad to be snug as a bug inside!

The treadmill is calling my name and I haven't done a walk yet today so perhaps I should heed the call. With a treadmill in the house, weather becomes no excuse. Plus, there is a tiny tv to watch while I am walking away the calories and the pounds. Rather than sitting on the tv and vegging, I can actually watch tv and get some exercise at the same time... a win-win situation I figure.

Dan Brown - The Lost Symbol

I'm reading the new book by Dan Brown at the moment - The Lost Symbol. I'm only about 60 pages into it and it's already gripped me! He has this amazing talent of weaving fact and fiction so that you're not sure where one leaves off and the other one starts. This one has Masons, symbols in Washington DC, and Noetic Sciences. He refers to a book that I've actually read!!! The Intention Experiment.

The premise of Noetic Science is that the human mind can influence the physical environment via thoughts. This idea appears in alot of the "self-help" books out there. And then weaves some quantum physics into the mix, touches on spirituality and voila... you have a new vision of the universe, and our place in it. So far, I like where the book is going, and I am anxious to see what comes next!

Now, hard core scientists would say that Noetic Science is all fluff and puff. It brings together paranormal stuff, which many scientists don't know what to do with. But really, Noetic Science could be the bridge that links "science" with "consciousness"... There is a bridge... we just haven't recognized it yet and embraced it...

Some people are looking ahead to 2012 and the supposed "end of the world" on 21 Dec 2012 as the moment in which human consciousness will take a quantum leap... Be interesting to see if Dan Brown weaves that into his story...

There are stranger things out there than we have dreamed of...

Peace Through Compassion

A couple of months ago, myself and a friend went and saw a famous spiritual leader give a talk. The premise was quite simple... peace through compassion. That is the only way there will ever be peace in this world... if we become compassion.

Compassion means seeing others without all the judgements and opinions that so often colour our thinking. Stop and take a look at your own life... listen to some of the thoughts and judgements that pop into your head as you are watching TV or going shopping or talking with someone. We have judgements about everything and everyone. We're just not aware of it most times! We think that's normal! Having compassion... being compassion... means that we see people for who they are, who they really are... not through our lens.

One of the most important people we need to have compassion with is... you guessed it... ourselves. We are often our own worst critics, berating ourselves in various ways for "not being good enough". If we can't have compassion on ourselves, how can we ever expect to have compassion on others??? If we cannot be comopassion with ourselves... how will we ever have peace in our hearts?? Peace and compassion starts with us... it starts with us being gentle with ourselves and letting all those judgements we have about ourselves go... Just let them go... And they'll pop up again... and just let them go...

Peace through compassion...

Oh, and the spiritual leader... it was the Dalai Lama!!

Rhymes of the Mind

I was on a WestJet flight about 10 days ago and the flight attendants were doing their pre-flight safety announcements. All those things that most of us tune out... where the exits are, floor level track lighting, oxygen masks, seat belt instructions, etc. I used to feel vaguely guilty for not paying attention and would try to watch the flight attendant, so I could at least give a semblance of attention! Now... I don't even do that. I am reading my book or looking out the window. But this one flight... things were different.

As soon as the lead flight attendant openned her mouth to begin her spiel, I could tell something was off. The first couple of lines rhymed! That was interesting... how did they manage that??? And then it continued... everything rhymed together and there was a flow and an ease with what she was saying. People began to pay attention!!! They were curious to see how she was going to make things rhyme together... and she managed it quite nicely! Perhaps WestJet is trying a new technique on their flights? Alas no, my return trip had no rhyming attendants!

Rhyme and song touch something within our spirit. They somehow stick with us and allow us to remember things that would normally disappear from our memory quickly. That's why songs and commercial jingles stick with us. Yet, as a high school student, I remember being utterly bored with poetry, finding nothing of value there. It was a chore... not a delight. This WestJet attendant found delight in creating a rhyming verse out of something that was the "same old - same old". In that moment of creativity, she touched a whole plane load of people and probably many flights after that. She is making a difference in her own way... making the ho-hum of the safety announcements something else.

The say that WestJet employees are owners of the company. This woman took that to heart and created the space for her own wit and delight to shine. What would it take for each of us to create that within our own spaces... wherever that might be??

Flying

Travelling as much as I do, you'd think I would get used to this whole flying thing. I have gotten a nice little routine in booking flights, checking in online 24 hours ahead of time, timing my arrival so I'm not spending hours ahead of time at the airport, and getting all the packing organized nicely. It's sort of become a part of me, and I really don't need to give it a lot of thought.

I'm used to the whole thing of going through security, boarding the plane and finding my seat. I've figured out that the window seats are the best for under the seat storage space. I've learned not to sit in Row 1 because you have to under the seat storage and the overhead bins get filled up quickly! I've learned what is the best carry-on for me, something that has everything that I need and yet doesn't take a lot of space. I've learned to take a good book along and to pack my own headset.

There is one thing that I still can't get used to though... and that is the moment when we sit at the end of the runway and begin to acccelerate. I put down my book, brace myself and a part of me roars with the engines as we go faster and faster, finally becoming airborne... We are flying through the air in a machine that weighs tonnes and tonnes... It makes no logical sense! Oh sure, there is the speed, and the aerodynamic flow of the air over the curved wings that creates lift... but think about it for a moment... we are flying... Our ancestors would marvel, would be amazed and disbelieving!!! There is something magical about the whole flying thing, something that touches a deep core within me... It's the take-off that I really connect with... the moment in which we leave the solidity of earth behind and leap into a realm that is not our natural habitat... We are guests in the air... We see the world from a whole new perspective. It is an honour and a privilege to soar through the clouds... a grace to break free of gravity if but for a few hours... Possibilities emerge...

Better Late than Never

So much for a perfect track record of postings! Sunday crept by and I woke up this morning, realizing I hadn't posted anything yesterday. Ah well... can't go back in time, so only way to move forward!

Sunday was the feast of Christ the King, marking the end of the Church year. If you look through Christian art, you'll find all sorts of depictions of Christ as King or Emperor or Ruler, complete with crown, sceptre and throne. Somewhere along the line, we merged Christ's notion of "king" with our notion of "king". The two are diametrically opposed!

Instead of ruling from a throne, Christ rules from the cross. Instead of "ruling" over others, Christ is the servant of all. Instead of wearing a crown of gold, Christ wears a crown of thorns. This notion of "king" is something completely foreign to us, so much so, that over the course of history, we have morphed Christ the King into something that we are more comfortable with.

The thing is... as we have elevated Christ to a throne high above us, we have lost touch with our very roots, our foundation. Popes, cardinals and bishops have taken on the trappings of earthly rulers... losing touch with the foundation of the Church, Christ in the people. We have shoehorned Christ into our own hierarchical system... thereby justifying that same system... Enough!!

Zamboni

Most of us... at least those who are vaguely familiar with hockey... know what a Zamboni is. It's that big, funky machine that cleans the ice at hockey rinks. Probably named after an Italian. And famous across Canada and probably the world.

Today, though, I heard about another Zamboni, Paolo Zamboni, an Italian doctor who has possibly discovered the cause/cure of Multiple Sclerosis (MS). There was a short article on the CTV news website and a link to a W5 show that was airing tonight. Apparently Zamboni has found that without exception, MS patients have a narrowing or constriction of the veins in the neck or chest that drain blood from the brain. With the constrictions, blood can back up into the brain, allowing iron deposits to form. Excess iron in the brain is not a good thing and the result can be immune problems, inflammation, etc. Using tiny balloons, Zamboni and his team have openned up the narrowed veins and... voila... the MS patients see a marked improvement, to the point where 73% no longer experience MS symptoms!! International doctors are sceptical (of course), but other studies are being conducted to test Zamboni's hypothesis.

As I was watching this show... I thought... W5 is going to get an award for it... and Zamboni is going to get some major medical prize... The implications are huge and it's all because he took a look at the problem from a different angle and with a different incentive. His wife had had MS for 10 years and he was determined to find a cure, despite his own neurological disease. Love... and looking at things from a different perspective. Who knows what you can accomplish if you start to see thing without all of our preconceived notions... Who knows what might come... A cure for MS... A cure for Cancer?? A cure for war and prejudice??

Shoes

Leading workshops as I do, I have needed to spiff up a little bit! I have a pair of black dress shoes that I have been wearing, but lately I've noticed that the toes are getting kind of scuffed. It's been on my to-do list for a while to polish them.

As a teenager, I used to enjoy polishing shoes, my own, my dad's and whoever else in the family needed shoes polished! There was something very satisfying in putting a dab of shoepolish on my cloth, wiping the shoes down and then polishing them up with a soft shoe brush. They would go from dull and dirty to clean and shiny, and this appealed to my sense of organization. It's a wonderful thing to take something and turn it into something beautiful! Perhaps it applies to my creative sense.

But... it's been years since I've polished shoes! I've switched more to Hi-Tec light hikers and suede leather sandles... with nothing to polish. So, when I decided a week ago that my shoes needed polishing, I was a bit rusty. I knew I had a shoe box with supplies in it and once I found it, I was a bit dismayed. There was beeswax (for waterproofing hiking boots), about 3 tins of it! A variety of waterproofing sprays, some spare shoelaces and a couple of tubes of black polish from the shoe store that sold me the dress shoes. Not a shoe brush to be found. Ah well, I thought, how hard can it be to polish with a cloth. So I sat down and wiped on the polish and then tried to polish the shoes with a cloth... Not quite a satisfying shine!!! Perhaps it works for the shoe polishers in the airports, to use just a cloth, but I obviously didn't have the right angle.

So, it was off on a hunt for a shoe brush... After a bit of debating, I decided that Zellers was my best bet... I had never seen shoe brushes there before, but nor had I had been looking for them. Luck was with me and they actually had a modest but comprehensive of shoe polishing supplies, shoe brushes among them. With shoe brush clutched in hand, I left Zellers (after paying!) and drove home to try it out. Ah... that's better... a brush just gives that added bit of kick to the shoe polish and I'm happy to say that my black leather shoes have a very respectable shine on them...

Sometimes, it is good to have the right tools for the job, and this was a case in point. I wonder sometimes how the same applies to our spirits... They too are often in need of a bit of care and attention, a bit of polishing as it were. What are the things that polish our spirit, that give us a bit of shine? Exercise? Meditation? Prayer time?? All of the above. If we don't take care of our selves, we can end up looking and feeling and acting a bit scuffed... Time for a bit of a shine and a polish!!

Time... Part 3

So, we've looked at how time can move at different speeds for different people and different situations... now what about different ages?? Older folks have told me how time seems to speed up the older you get, so that once you're in your 50s, 60s or 70s, it's just zipping by! And yet, when you are young, time seems to stretch out forever! Is it just that as we get closer to the end of our lifespan, the remaining time left trickles away quicker, than when we have our whole life ahead of us?? Or is it that older folks have many more memories built up and there is a relativity that creeps in, with so many more years gone by than are yet to come? Or is it something else??

Is it perhaps that young children, infants and toddlers have very little concept of time. They live primarily in the "now". Tomorrow or "later" does not exist for them. They want things "now" because "now" is all that exists. In that space of living in the "now", is it possible that time moves more slowly for them?? We wonder at how children can learn language so quickly... perhaps it is because our sense of time is not their sense of time. Perhaps time expands for them and they have more than enough time to learn language and other things... But, as we get older, we slip out of the "now" and into the past and the future, thereby losing our sense of expanded time. The older we get the more likely we are to reminisce on the past, or anticipate the future... thereby speeding up time.

What would life be like if we could regain that early childlike wonder with what is happening in the "now", in this moment, and not the moments that have passed or the moments to come?

Vancouver Public Library

So, I was watching HGTV the other day and... you guessed it... another commercial has caught my attention. It's another Lexus one... their "H" or Lexus Hybrid commercial. The commercial shows images of various things that begin with the letter "H", like home, human and habitat, etc... all "green" and all leading up to them showing you a Lexus Hybrid and extolling its virtues as a "green" machine. All well and good, but what caught my attention was as flash of an image. It is a city-scape of tall buildings and the camera is looking down on an oval building with a garden on the roof. The glimpse looked to me like the Vancouver Public Library and it's neo-Roman colisseum architecture.

Hmmm... did they photoshop a garden onto the top of the Vancouver Pubic Library??? I never heard of a garden up there. So first I looked up Vancouver in Google and then used google maps to zoom in on the library. I switched to aerial photograph mode and there it was... a speck of green in the midst of this sea of grey!!! I then went into google search and sure enough, there is a garden on the room, with trees and grasses and kinnikinnick... Apparently the garden is not open to the public (yet?)... but it is amazing to know it is there!

The library was built from 1992-1995 and I was living in Vancouver for most of that time. This is the FIRST time I have ever heard of a garden on the roof! I think it is the wave of the future... Losing greenspace as we build buildings... but gaining it as we promote rooftop gardens! Who knows what the future may hold...

Lexus Commercial

Have you seen the commercial on HGTV? It's of this guy driving a Lexus down a straight highway in the middle of the desert. He's in his shirt sleeves, windows rolled down and zipping along. All of a sudden, time slows and he is so in the moment of enjoying his Lexus. Time stretches and expands and all is well in his world until... he thinks of what to have for dinner that time!!! And then boom, time speeds up again and he is zipping along in his car.

It struck me the other night that is what I have articulated in some earlier posts... the idea that if we live in the moment, in the now, that time can expand and stretch and seem to slow down. But if we get stuck in reliving the past or expecting the future, that time can speed up and seem to zoom by... Lexus seems to have had the same idea. I just  found it interesting that a car commercial of all things would be able to incorporate quantum physics and the notion of time in such an engaging way!

A New Thing

I am away this week, leading a workshop in Beausejour, Manitoba, somewhere to the northeast of Winnipeg. Not knowing how accessible a computer would be, and knowing I would be focussed on the workshop, I am experimenting with the post options of this blog. Theoretically, I can write it today, and have it scheduled to post at a certain time on a certain day... This, then, is an experiment. If you see this on Monday, November 16... it has worked! And this old dog has learned a new trick! Well, maybe not so old... but definitely getting grey around the temples! I may not have a blackberry yet... haven't tweeted on twitter yet... but I am mastering some of the finer aspects of blog posting!

Keep Awake

Keeping awake, staying in the present moment can be a challenge for us, in so many ways. We are not fully present to what is going on around us in the moment, thinking instead of what has happened in the past, or what will come in the future... even if it's just a few minutes in the future. We are not awake to the present moment... we are not awake to the people and the world around us. When we are not awake, we do not see the things that are happening, do not understand the meaning of events, or of the words that are spoken to us. They are disconnected from our reality, because we are disconnected from our reality.

In today's Gospel reading (Mark 13:24-37), Jesus tells his followers to "keep awake". That doesn't mean that they can't sleep at night! It means that they need to be awake and attentive to what is happening around them. Be aware... be awake... Pay attention!! As well... being awake means doing something about what we see, moving awareness into action. We are not procrastinators... we are people of action. Whether it is in our words or in our actions... We can't just sit at home and profess our beliefs. We need to put our beliefs into action - makign a difference in the world. Living out our vocation of "awakeners"...

Many of us move through live as sleep-walkers... thinking that we are living, when we are really just going through the motions, often unaware and unawake to what we are and what is going on around us... So... wake up!!! And stay awake!

Wrong Side of the Bed

What makes us wake up "on the wrong side of the bed"?? There is something that makes us irritable, cranky and just plain out of sorts some mornings. We might get up on the same side of the bed that we always do but... something's off. Perhaps it is the dreaming state we have just woken up out of. I don't know about you, but some nights I have very vivid and memorable dreams. Other nights I can't remember a single thing. But on those nights where I do have vivid dreams... that I remember... I sometimes find that I wake up from an argument. I've been having some dream-interaction with a friend, a partner, a colleague, or whomever... and I wake up in that state of crankiness. Often, I'm like... "thank God it was just a dream"!!! Sometimes I can fall back asleep again... but sometimes it stays with me, shaping my waking moment and clouding my day. I begin to wonder... what does it mean if I'm arguing with people in my dream??? Does it mean I'm holding some grudge against them?? Have something that is left unspoken??? What is the maning of a dream argument?? I don't know, but I wonder sometimes how much goes on in our dreams that we have no conscious recollection of. It's still influencing our subconscious but... we just don't know it... Maybe these are some of the things that shape our day... that we're not even aware of...

Why a Blog?

I'm almost 2 weeks into this blogging thing and I realized I hadn't shared my intention in doing this! There is of course the hope that somebody out there might read it and comment on it! So, in some sense, it is for others. But in a larger sense it is for me. There is something compelling in knowing that I have committed to write something everyday. And even though somebody might not read it... somebody might!!! It is like walking... if I know that I have a walk partner out there... I am more likely to get up and go for a walk. So, for me, this blogging thing keeps me writing. I am a writer and I need to write. I find it helps me clear my head and create some space for my thoughts to fly and soar. So, I write. It's like I have a date with my blog. Some evenings, it is 8:30 pm and I realize I haven't blogged anything that day. There is the temptation to just let it go, and a more powerful incentive to get down and write something!!!

X-Weighted

There's a show on HGTV called "X-weighted". It follows an overweight person as they begin a regimen of healthy eating and exercise, over the course of 4 or 6 months. The trainer/host comes into their homes and cleans out their fridge and cupboards. And the things he throws away are just amazing!! Salad dressing, mayonaisse, peanut butter, yogurt sticks!! Apparently all very bad!! Healthy eating is the name of the game and there is a certain vicarious fascination in watching this, as I mentally walk through my own fridge and wonder what is "tossable". Then there is the exercise regimen that he puts them on... wow... I feel more and more like a couch potato and a slug! A part of me sits there and thinks, "come on, get up... do some stairs, get on the treadmill, go for a walk"... All good talk and yet... no action!!! This evening though,  I learned how to operate the treadmill (there is a secret on/off button!), so now I have no excuse. It can no longer be too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy outside... it is the perfect temperature in the basement. And... for added incentive, there is a tiny TV right at eye height, so I can watch my favourite HGTV shows and walk off the calories!!

What makes it so hard to exercise? So hard to get off of the couch and moving. Our bodies naturally are built for movement, like to move... and yet something pulls us the other way... How to shift out of that, to shift into a healthy mode... As Nike would say... Just do it!!!!

Staying in the Moment

Today I've been practising just staying in the moment! I haven't been focussed on the clock, and have just done whatever it was that needed to be done... starting with redoing my to-do list! Amongst other things, I got to clean the kitchen, repot several plants (making a mess in the clean kitchen!), watch a bit of Holmes on Homes, enter some family tree data and still have time to eat lunch... all in less than 4 hours. Somehow, it seems that the more panicky I am about how little time there is... the less time there is! If, however, I remain unconcerned about time... I can get a tonne of stuff done. I remember looking at the clock at 9:30 and thinking "I've only got 2.5 hours and I have to leave for a meeting"... I got quite a bit done in those 2.5 hours!! But, my language itself reveals how I hold time... "only 2.5 hours"... only... As if 2.5 hours is not an ample amount of time for many things! I wonder what it would look like if I were to say "I have a whole 2.5 hours"!!! There is a part of me that resents having anything "fixed" in my day, like an appointment or a meeting, or a scheduled conference call. It acts as an immovable brick in my day, around which I have to arrange everything else... Or, perhaps... to just see it as a marker in my day, and to not let it stop me from doing what I enjoy doing in the time that I have!

So... for me... staying in the moment... in this moment and enjoying all that appears is helpful today. Rather than looking ahead to what is coming (be it hours or days).... I just enjoy the day or the hour for whatever it brings. I flow with time perhaps, rather than against time!

Time Part 2

The other funny thing about time is this... how different people have a different sense of time. For example... a friend of mine will think that something will take her half an hour and it ends up taking two hours. I, on the other hand, think that something will take two hours and it ends up taking half an hour. And in the middle, another friend, who thinks something will take half an hour and it takes half an hour! There is a spectrum and I'm not quite sure what it means.

I do know that I can often sit and look at my list of things to do, look at the time I have available before some other committment (say 45 minutes) and decide that I don't have enough "time" to get any of it done. That, of course, is a load of crap! When I actually buckle down, it's amazing what I can accomplish in 45 minutes... but my time sense tells me that 45 minutes is not long enough for whatever it is I want to do.

So, what is up with that? Is it our perception of time? Is it the fact that time passes differently for each of us?? Does time speed up for my first friend, so that she takes two hours? Does time slow down for me, so that I take half an hour?? Is time a construct of our own individual perceptions? Perhaps it is our own experience that determines the speed of time for each of us?? Is that why some people seem to age quicker than others?

Berlin's 9/11

Today is the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall... and in Europe, the date would be day/month/year... so... 9 Nov = 9/11. Interesting isn't it! Listening to the CBC today, they had a clip from Peter Mansbridge way back then, and he said that in the future, people would look back on this day as the end of the Cold War. Interesting that one 9/11 marked the end of the Cold War and another 9/11 (month/day) marked the beginning of the War against Terror. How far we have come...

Today, the mentioned the walls that still exist... North/South Korea, Mexico and the southern US border, India/Kashmir/Pakistan, Israel/Palestine. It seems that as one wall comes down, more go up. And not just physical walls either. There are walls that separate cultures, peoples, races, creeds, religions, denominations, orientations. Wherever we are pointing to "them" and "us", there is a wall. Perhaps not a physical wall, but definitely a wall. A wall of prejudice, of hatred, of differences, of fear. What would our world look like if we let go of the prejudice, hatred, fear... and embraced the similarities? Perhaps more walls would come down... in nations, in neighbourhoods, in hearts and minds.

Time Speed

I've been musing on the funniness of time. You know how it is... sometimes time flies by, other time it drags both feet like leg weights! I've noticed that when I drive to somewhere that I havent' been before, let's say, from Calgary to Cremona, it seems to take forever! It's a new stretch of road, I have no idea what's around the corner or over the next rise, and the 45 minutes that it takes seem to drag on and on and on. But... when I'm coming back from Cremona, or driving out there again the next time, it doesn't feel like that at all!!! In fact, it feels a lot shorter! Now, this is not because I'm driving faster! Same speed, same amount of time... it just seems to go by a lot quicker... So, what's up with that???

I'm thinking it has something to do with our presence. When I'm driving that stretch for the first time, I am paying close attention, totally focused on the road, the fields, what's coming up. Everything is new and fresh and I'm present to it, drinking each moment in. When I'm driving back, or driving that stretch a second time, my attention is often elsewhere. I'm thinking about other things, what I'll have for dinner tonight, or what the weather's going to be like for the weekend, or how the visit went in Cremona. My attention, my presence is elsewhere... and as a result, time seems to speed up. I'm living in the future or in the past... but not in the present.

When we are present to the "now", living in the moment, time seems to slow down... When we are living in the past or the future, reliving the things that have happened, or imagining the things yet to come... we aren't present to the "now" and time gets away on us!

Or at least that is my musing on it at this moment in time! More coming tomorrow...

Autumn Colours

I grew up in northwestern BC, and while the fall colours are nothing compared to those out east, they are not insignificant. There are the golden hues of the aspen trees, which can often shade into orange and a tinge of red. There are the douglas maple which can have vivid red shadings. Mountain ash, birch and cottonwoods all add to the spectacular colour show of the fall. Making up a fall basket was never a problem!

Central BC was a little less colourful, more yellows than anything else, but still, quite festive. I also lived in Edmonton for a few falls, and the aspen could be quite spectacular.

Now... in Calgary... things work differently!! Leaves start changing colour in September, a yellow leaf here and a yellow leaf there, mostly poplar and aspen. I had high hopes for a glorious colour show!! Slowly, more and more leaves started changing colour until I thought the moment might be right for a photograph. That night, it sank to -10C, with snow... and that put a stop to it!!! Overnight, the leaves turned brown... whether they were yellow or green the day before, they were all brown. A dismal, depressing brown. And to make matters worse, they just stayed on the trees! Even now, most trees still have the majority of their leaves... their brown leaves! I had been told that autumn in Calgary was a non-starter... and now I know what they mean.

Which has taught me to carry my camera at all times and never wait for the "more perfect" shot... Take the moments that nature gives you!!! If a more perfect moment or shot comes along... I'll be ready for it. But in the meantime, I need to be on my toes and open and ready to receive the many blessings that nature provides!

Aches and Pains

I realize I need to exercise more, but sometimes I can take it too far... a little over the top as it were. This morning, there was a reasonable walk up the local hill... a good walk of about 1 hour in the pre-dawn light. A fair bit of huffing, but nothing out of the ordinary. I could still talk and breathe, no problem...

This afternoon, something more strenuous!! A friend has a bunch of beetle-killed in stacked along the back fence from the previous owners. Owners who just cut down the dead pines, bucked it up into reasonable sizes and stacked it on the ground, in rows about 30 feet long and 3 pieces deep. Suffice to say that the wood on the top is wet... the wood sitting on the ground is wet... and some of the wood on the ends is wet! But... I have a wood-burning fireplace, and firewood is not exactly cheap in Calgary so... since she was willing to part with it, and I was willing to chop it... we tackled the pile. I am pleased to report that she has a very beautiful ax... a splitting maul it is called, with a 3 foot handle and a 6 lb head. A beautiful swing and most wood just parts without a complaint. Mind you, the wet wood, more often than not, just went "thunk" and it took multiple swings to overpower it! An hour and a half later we have a very respectable stack of chopped wood, about 4 ft high and 10 ft long. A few Robax in my system and I think I might survive. My hips are complaining the most, but I'm curious to see how the shoulders and arms will make out tomorrow. Perhaps I am not quite the couch slug that I think I am!!!

I am grateful for friends who wish to part with their piles of wood, in order to satisfy the fireplace bug! There truly is nothing like a real, life crackling fire in the fireplace. It satisfies something within the human spirit, something deep and instinctive and fundamental to our nature. It warms us, keeps the darkness at bay, and even talks to us in snaps and crackles. Gas fireplaces, for all their niftiness, do not have the same aura around them. They are mandmade contraptions. There is something magical and divine about burning wood... something that calls to me... I have always loved to go to Kalum Lake near Terrace and burn driftwood on the beach... For this I am grateful... for the gift of fire... the gift of  the divine!!!

Spirit is Willing but the Flesh is Weak

Given the last two posts, I begin to wonder if perhaps there isn't something to this dualistic business. You know the saying from Matthew 26:41... the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Perhaps my spirit really is willing and really wants to do all the good things, but it is my body, or the flesh, that keeps me from it?? Or as Paul would say (Rom 7), I want to do the good, but I do the exact opposite, so it must be sin that lives within me. Which leaves me wondering... can I blame it all on sin?? "Oh well, my spirit has the best of intentions, but you know, I'm a sinful being, so I just can't follow through on what my spirit desires". That begins to sound vaguely like an escape hatch or a cop-out to me!

Particularly if we hold that we are not dualistic begins, but rather a unified whole. The truth is, sometimes our best intentions are simply that... intentions, without anything really behind them. They are desires and wants and needs and "good ideas" but that's about it. I really don't put my "intention" behind things. I wiffle-waffle on giving up junk food and last for maybe a day or two. Or I exercise daily for a few weeks and then get out of the habit and it falls by the wayside. I really haven't committed to it! It's not that something called "sin" lives within me and stifles my best desires and intentions, it is me, pure and simple. I am the one who makes the choice, each and every day... a choice for the healthy or a choice for the unhealthy!

So, it is not so much that the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, but rather that the spirit really hasn't committed itself wholly to what is called for! It takes a lot of will power, it takes a lot of self-control... it takes an attitude of "this is going to happen"!!! Whatever it might be: food, prayer time, exercise, family time... We are the ones who choose one way or the other. Even "not choosing" is a choice. Nobody else out there is going to kick start us... we are the only ones who can take ownership of our lives, take the tiller in our hand and steer a course for the direction we choose. So, go for it!!!

Keeping the Dentist Away

I realize, after yesterday's posting, that I could come across sounding like a person with zippo self-control and zippo self-discipline!! Mind you, there are some areas in my life, where I have made significant progress in developing a "good" habit!!!

I grew up brushing my teeth in the morning and that was it. Flossing and mouthwash were foreign concepts to me, and seemed quite useless. I have good teeth, very few cavities, and for years, I thought I was doing pretty good. Oh sure, I have a couple of moderately deep pockets on my upper molars, but that's not too bad, right?? Wrong!! The dentist I'm seeing here in Calgary (who shall remain nameless), is also an implant specialist and after looking at my x-rays and my teeth suggested the following: bonegraft for the pockets, leading to dental implants - Grand total around $7000!!!!

I came away from that appointment with a fair degree of intentionality!!! I resolved to begin an agressive regimen of dental care! Here it is: flossing twice a day (at least), cleaning out pockets (dental ones) with a water pik, brushing twice a day, and mouthwash to top it all off!

My last appointment was in early August (3 months ago) and I am amazed at the difference for myself. My teeth aren't getting the plaque build-up they normally do and my pockets (dental!) feel better as well, not so achy!!

Which all goes to show, that if you have the right incentive ($$$), you can alter your bad habits into good habits overnight! Perhaps all I need is for my doctor to say that if I have on more chocolate bar or another bag of Cheezies (Hawkins are the best!), that I will develop full-blown diabetes?? The incentive needs to be there at least for me.

So, for now, the dental hygiene project is working amazingly well! And I begin to have hope that I do have some self-control and willpower! (So far, no junk food today!)...

An Apple a Day

Can someone explain to me why it is that my mind always wants to choose the junk foods??? Like Hawkins Cheezies, chocolate bars, etc... Even though I know that I should be eating "healthy" stuff, like apples and other fruit, and veggie sticks, I usually end up craving the other things! And there is a pecking order in the junk food category. If there are Cheezies, they go first. Once they are gone, then it's the chocolate. Once that's gone, it's the chocolate baking chips. Once those are gone, it's the granola bars. Once those are gone, it's the tortilla chips. Once those are gone, it's the almonds. And at that point, I guess it gets vaguely healthy. But fruit... too much trouble! You have to wash it, cut it up, peel it, core it... Much easier to rip open a bag of something crunchy or a packet of something sweet. Which is one reason why I don't like to have junk food in the house! I figure if it's an effort for me (i.e. need to go out to the corner store and buy it), I'll be less likely to indulge it.

I know what's good for me. I know that I should drink more water. I know that I should eat more fruit and veggies. And yet I don't. I'm not sure what's up with that... I know that I have good self-discipline... perhaps it is my committment that is lacking? Perhaps I haven't yet made the committment to eat healthy? Or I just procrastinate on it. "I'll start tomorrow, next week, next month, next year." Or is it simply, that in each moment I need to choose the greater good. And tomorrow I'll need to choose again. Perhaps there should be a "Junk Food Anonymous" group! To my credit, it has been 4 months since I gave up my major vice of Coca Cola. I'm still holding firm to that! So, perhaps there is hope for me yet.

The other problem that creeps in is this... I am shopping in Superstore or Safeway or Sobey's or Save-on-Foods (why do they all start with an "S"??) and I'll buy bags of pears and plums and peaches and bananas, knowing that they are the healthy choice. I'll put them in the fridge and there they sit... and sit and sit... until the bananas turn black (ick) and hte pears turn brown (ick) and the plums and peaches get all mushy (ick)... What a waste!!!

So, here I go... today I am giving up junk food and I am choosing the healthy alternatives! Carrots instead of cheezies (orange and crunchy!). Granola bars instead of chocolate bars. Fruit and veggies instead of chips and tortilla chips. That is my committment made here on this blog! (Gulp!) And, silly me, I have a road trip coming up, which is always an excuse for junk food. Wish me luck!!!

Soul Disconnect

Have you ever wondered why it's called the Feast of All "Souls"?? Wondered why, in the Creed, we talk about the resurrection of the "body"? What's with the "soul" and "body" disconnect? One the one hand, we're taught that the human person is a oneness. But this "soul/body" wording begins to sound like dualistic Greek philosophy. You know: material/spiritual, earth/heaven, body/soul, darkness/light, woman/man, passive/active, bad/good. In Greek thinking, all that was connected with the material, like earth, body, darkness, woman, etc., was bad. Everything that ws connected with spiritual, like heaven, soul, light, man, etc., was good. So this talk of "body" and "soul" has me wondering... is there still some dualistic thinking running around Christianity?

I find it interesting too that quantum science nowadays sees everything that exists as energy. When you get down past atoms and electrons and protons and quarks and strings... what you end up finding is that everything is energy, just vibrating at different speeds. Our thoughts are energy. Our bodies are energy. Our earth is energy. Our thoughts just vibrate at a higher frequency than the earth! Could it also be that our souls are energy? That in fact, we, as individual persons, are composed of pure energy, a oneness as it were. There is then, no dualism, for all belongs to the one energy and is simply a manifestation of that. Ultimately, you could say we are all connected to that Divine Energy, God, that animates all things, all of creation.

If we really got this, got the profoundness of it, how would it change our world? If we say the trees outside as manifestations of that divine energy, but simply vibrating at a lower frequency? What if we could see the animals around us, as expressions of the wholeness? Might be a very different world!

Saints for All

Growing up, my sister had a children's book that outlined the lives of the saints, most of whom were Bishops, Priests, Brothers or Sisters. Most of whom died grisly deaths in a variety of ways. We just took it for granted that saints were Christian, saints were white, saints were religious and saints were martyrs.

In the last few decades, popes have beatified and sainted a variety of other people. Turns out that Old Testament folks like Elijah and Isaiah were saints as well! There are also African saints, Asian saints and Central and South American saints. Although martyrdom is an almost guaranteed entry into the ranks of the sainted, there are also many who died of natural causes who were also sainted. Which leaves us with the "religious" aspect. If you take a look at most saints... they're all pretty much professed celibates, either priests or brothers or sisters. A few years ago, an Italian couple were elevated to sainthood, but it turns out they had a bunch of kids who became priests or nuns. After they finished having children, they also abstained from sexual relations... So, we could begin to wonder if celibacy is an easier route to sainthood than marital sex. Lay saints are few and far between, whether single or married. So perhaps the religious vocation itself is a more guaranteed route to sainthood.

Which is interesting, given that saints are to be our role models in the faith, people we can imitate in our own lives. The question is, how relevant are these saints to the married life?? Or to the single lay life?? More telling, are there not saintly lay people out there, who live very ordinary lives, in extraordinary ways?? Who are the saints of our day?? Who are the ones who stand up for the rights of the oppressed? Who are the ones who lay down their lives day after day for the poor and disadvantaged? Who are the ones who care for their children with extraordinary care? Or care for adopted children? Or foster children? Who are the single lay people who inspire us with their committment to creating a better world, in so many different ways? Caring for the environment? Caring for the aged? Caring for the sick.

Ultimately, the truth is, we are all members of the saintly ranks. Paul often greets "all the saints in...". We are all members of the ranks of the holy.Our models are our parents and grandparents. Our teachers and caregivers. Wherever we find a live lived in wholeness... a holy life... we find sainthood...

Pumpkin Blues

I have been a pumpkin-carver wanna-be for a while. I have always envied those people who could carve intricate designs in a pumpkin, with curves and curlicues and shapes that seemed to defy the reality of a paring knife. My pumpkins were usually limitted to three triangles (two eyes and a nose) with a gaping toothless smile. That was pretty much all I could manage with paring knives. More often than not, I would cut the teeth off my pumpkin face as the paring knife would slip just as I got close! If I was lucky, my pumpkin would have one tooth! This year, I was introduced to a higher level of pumpkin carving via the oh-so-cheap "pumpkin carving kit"... complete with two small saw like instruments, pumpkin guts scooper, felt pen and tracing templates. Amazing!!! That is all I can say!! I have spent the last 44 years of my life using crude and clutzy instruments to carve pumpkins... massacre pumpkins is more like it. And now... the fine intricacies of pumpkin carving have openned up to me. Which only goes to show... sometimes it isn't the skill that makes a difference, sometimes you do need the right tools for the job. Yet, all this pumpkin carving is for naught apparently. It is past 7:30 pm and although we have Halloween decals on the windows, Halloween wind streamers and pumpkins... we have no trick-or-treaters! Quite a disappointment... but perhaps Hallloween is evolving...

Originally the pagan festival of Samhain, this date and feast was usurped by the Church as All Hallows Eve, the night before All Saints day. Recently, the Church has lamented on the fact that this orignally Christian feast has become a secular event. Now, it seems to becoming solely a marketing event. Lots of decorations out there, pumpkins sold out at Superstore, some people dressed up, but really, no heart to it anymore. Fears of H1N1, fears of sexual predators, fears of razors in candy all suffice to keep people close to home this year. Has Halloween found its demise?? Is it a non-event... something whose time has come and gone...

Perhaps we have lost touch with the deeper routes of the feast... standing in the face of the fear of death and mocking it, making fun of it, laughing at it... and moving on with our lives. In Mexico, the Day of the Dead, celebrated on Nov 1, is still a major holiday festival with parades and decorations galore. The heart of the holiday is to remember those who have died. Perhaps we have lost that heart in our Halloween. It has become something else, something shallow that means nothing. Humans like rituals, we connect with the deeper meaning of things. If Halloween has lost its deeper meaning, it is to be expected that it will become a shallow husk, a hollow of its former glory. Perhaps the Mexicans have it right... celebrate the heart of it... laughing at the seeming triumph of death, but always knowing, believing that there is something more...

The pagans of former centuries believed that on the festival of Samhain, the boundary between this world and the underworld became thin. They believed in the afterlife, believed in something beyond this life. Perhaps, we do well to recognize the power of that boundary, the boundary between life and death... or between life and new-life...

Flow of Life

Today I gave blood for the 25th time in my life. Given that we can donate every 56 days, it is clear that either (a) I'm very young, or (b) I haven't been as conscientious about donating as I could be! The answer in this case is (b)!! "Too busy, forgot the appointment... they have enough people..." Some of the excuses I can come up with, quite weak ones obviously, and yet ones that hold me in their grip more often than not.

Scientists tell us that the air we are breathing today has been breathed in China, that it has gone in and out of the lungs of countless people. That can seem a little weird and removed. Donating blood on the other hand has an immediacy to it. My blood, the blood that has been keeping me alive, will be flowing through the veins and arteries of other people shortly, giving them life. My life being shared with the lives of others.

Sometimes I walk down the street and think, "maybe they received my blood". And there is a sense of connection. We are connected, at a deep and fundamental level. My blood has mingled with theirs, so that there is no longer "my blood" and "their blood"... it is "our blood".

Beyond breathing the same air, and sharing the same blood... all of us are connected. We are One. We come from the same stardust, come from the same clay of the earth. We are more alike than we are different. We like to think we are special and different, but when it comes right down to it... we are motes of the whole. Motes of the divine... dancing a dance in which we believe we are separate... and yet connected by the divine symphony to which we dance.