Divinity or Humanity

10. Am I choosing from my divinity OR am I choosing from my humanity?

Another great question... In this instance, in this moment, am I choosing the high road or the low road? Am I choosing from my humanity with all of its fears and insecurities... or am I choosing from my divinity? In the book, Debbie talks about choosing from my humanity as leading to outer success but inner mess! Feeling empty and exhausted and ultimately unfulfilled. It's the difference between seeing the small picture (from our humanity) and the big picture (from our divinity). Our humanity has many of our gifts and talents to share, but it is also where our fears and limitations show up. What would my life look like today if I were to stop surviving and to really start thriving? What is my vision for me life... the vision that inspired me as a younger person, the vision that somehow got lost in the hustle and bustle of surviving life??

In all of this... in these 10 questions, we can't go it alone. It always helps to have a coach, someone who encourages us when we are faltering, keeps our vision before us and cheers us when we are on track. Someone who calls on our greatness when we would be content to stay in our smallness. Who is your coach? Could be a friend or co-worker...

This is a great little book! And I think I'm going to have sticky notes posted around the office and at home with the different questions... calling me to choose the higher path... The author says there are no extraordinary people... only ordinary people who make extraordinary choices. People who wake up from their routine and who choose something different other than the same old same old...

Act of Faith or Act of Fear?

9. Is this an act of faith OR is it an act of fear?

When I live my life rooted in faith, faith that things will work out, faith that the universe will provide... I am facing the future, facing the flow of the river and open to whatever might come. There is excitement in that and trust!

When I live my life rooted in fear... I am firmly gripped by the past, rooted in my fear of rejection, fear that things won't work out, fear that I will be alone, fear that people won't like me. There is only fear in that... fear and insecurity and mistrust... and it is a yucky place!

So, for me particularly, I need to recognize that when fear shows up, I am being encouraged to flip around in the river and face the future and trust. It can show up in something as simple as not opening an email from a friend, because I haven't communicated with them in a while, and there is a niggling fear that they are going to tell me to buzz off... go figure, eh?? And so even though that is a small thing, I am clear that when fear shows up, I have a choice before me... to give in to the fear and stick with the past, or to step out and seize the moment and have faith it will all turn out!!

So on this New Year's Eve... I am committing to asking myself this question in the New Year... over and over again... and choosing faith rather than fear!

Self-love or Self-sabotage?

8. Is this an act of self-love OR is it an act of self-sabotage?

A very good question! Are the choices that I make demonstrating that I love myself, all of me, that I care about myself, and that I am taking care of myself?? Or are they acts of self-sabotage... taking me farther away from self-care and taking me farther away from my dreams and desire and vision?

If I can't love myself... how can I love others? If I look for love from others to satisfy my own need for love... it will never work. If I love myself, though... that love will shine out for others to see and will even increase their capacity for self-love...

This is apparently one of the most difficult ones... to practice self-love... I know that I'm not always very successful at it! I was doing pretty good with exercise during the summer but now I've slackd off... I am doing good with not drinking Coke... not so good with chocolate at the moment (Christmas is a bad time!)... I am taking time for myself each day to go to Starbucks and have a hot chocolate and read a book... It is a outing, a time for me, free of all the distractions like email and dishes and laundry... Time just for me! So... a question... am I choosing self-love or self-sabotage??

Empower or Disempower?

7. Does this choice empower me OR does it disempower me?

When we are empowered we feel strong, alive, clear with a vibrant energy. We are in the flow... there is a deep inner knowing that we are exactly where we need to be. We are in balance...

When we are disempowered, we feel off balance, out of sorts, insecure, inadequate and resigned. We might feel hopelessness and mistrust, not even trusting ourselves...

I've experienced both and would much rather be in a place of empowerment than one of disempowerment!! There is much more of a sense of flow and peace and just all-round joy when I am in a place of empowerment... And the other is just yucky!

So, before I make a choice, I need to decide, given my goals and desires and dreams, will this choice empower me and support me in moving forward in the direction of those very same things... or will it disempower me and keep me stuck and moving farther away from my goals?? How committed am I to my stated desires, goals, vision??

A Catalyst to Grow or Beating Myself Up?

6. Will I use this situation as a catalyst to grow and evolve OR will I use it to beat myself up?
This is another good one! Things happen in our lives, not always the way we would want them to happen... And sometimes we don't even want some things to happen. But, guess what... they do happen! That is often beyond our control. What is within our control is what we do with it! Can we accept that right now, whatever is happening, is exactly what is supposed to be happening, and that somewhere in all of that mess and suffering, there is an opportunity for us to grow and evolve and transform? It's all in our perspective... We can look at things as if they are being done to us and we have no control and we should have made different choices and we should have... and we should have... Or we can shift our perception, shift our lenses and look to see what this experience can teach us today.

This is a challenge!! At least for me... But I'm beginning to recognize that I have a choice in each and every situation and encounter and interaction... I am the one who can decide how I am going to react, how I am going to hold things... how I will interpret things... I can interpret things as being "crappy" or I can look for something else in there... a learning... a deeper meaning...

Add to My Life Force or Rob me of my Energy

5. Will this Choice Add to My Life Force OR will it Rob Me of My Energy

Taking a look at life, what are the things that rob us of our energy?? What are the things that don't add to our life force. If we think of our life force as a roaring fire within us, there are things that either add to it, or things that diminish it. Being stuck in the past, focussing on old regrets and hurts, nurturing resentment against what people have done to us... all these things rob us of our energy...

When I look at my life... what are the things that rob me of my energy... not exercising... eating Cheezies... watching too much TV (and I know what too much is for me!)... not answering emails or letters promptly... holding resentments against others... having a messy desk... not doing things for "me"... All these things drain me of my energy and keep me stuck... I don't want to live like that!!! And so then the question is... what are the things that add to my life force... exercising... eating right... doing youa in the mornings... writing my morning pages... writing (period!!)... keeping a tidy, organized workspace... answering things promptly...

So whenever I am faced with a life choice... it is another good question to ask... Will going for a hot chocolate at Starbucks add to my life force or rob me of my energy???

I really like these questions!! I find that I am starting to ask myself them as I go through my day. When I am (often!) tempted to postpone an email response or something... I take a quick look and know that it is going to be something that's going to drag at me... so better to clean it up now and keep moving forward!

What's Right or What's Wrong

4. Am I looking for What's Right OR Am I looking for What's Wrong?

Oooh this is a really good one!! Because we are trained almost from birth to notice what is wrong in a certain situation. But when we look for what's wrong in a situation or a relationship, we feel bad, resigned and disappointed. Looking for what's wrong makes us feel like shit! We're looking for all the ways in which things "should not be"... instead of accepting things for how they are. But when we look for what's wrong, perhaps the wrongness does not lie out there... but rather within ourselves, within the lenses through which we look at the world!

Looking for what is right takes practice, but when we do it, we feel good, strong and worthy. And all it takes is a shift in perception... Instead of looking for what is wrong and blaming others... what if we refocus and look for what is right!? What is right about this person or this situation? What do I love about this person... what do I appreciate about this person?? How could this situation be a great blessing for me today!? Who knows what might show up for us?? And all it takes is a shift in our way of thinking, a shift in our conversation... our internal conversation... A shift from looking for what is wrong to looking for what is right... Might make all the difference in the world!! And for me, this is an easy one to remember... Now... to put it into practice!

Standing in my Power or Trying to Please Another

3. Am I standing in my power OR am I trying to please another?

Can I honour myself, stand in my own power, even though it means going against popular opinion? Or give away my power trying to please someone else... Living from my power, standing in my power, means honouring myself, living a life of integrity, following my soul's desires (not someone elses'... MINE!). It means being alligned with our highest self and trusting ourselves enough to follow our hearts... even if it disappoints someone else...

When we are disconnected from our integrity, we feel timid and intimidated... Whenever we try to please another and forsake our own truth for theirs, we relinquish some of our power. And when we're not being true to our personal integrity, we disconnect ourselves from our innate intelligence and our intuitive wisdom... That inner voice that tells us things aren't quite right...

In order to stand fully in our power, we have to become comfortable with confrontation... Pleasing others is a habit we developed when we were young, but it doesn't serve us as adults! We give away our power for the approval of others... we damage ourselves... and creating a heck of a lot of resentment, often towards the very people we are trying to please... Resentment is a great indicator that you're giving up your power... or have given up your power... And guess what... choosing what is best for yourself is not necessarily "selfish"! Any time we forsake our own needs for the needs of another, we are damaging our relationship with that person... and ourselves...

And pleasing another is not the same as caring for another... But the truth is, we can't care for another if we don't care for ourselves first...

That's the synopsis of this chapter... wowsa... this is a great one for me... I've lived so much of my life trying to please others... wondering what others will think and trying to live up to their image of me... or what they think I should be... or what I think they think I should be... or something. Quite crazy really. So the litmus test for me is if I agree to do something or be something... is there resentment that develops... If there is, it's a pretty good indicator that I'm trying to please someone else and giving up my power. I'm not always sure how to stand in my power but stand in it I must!!

Long-term Fulfillment or Short-term Gratification

2. Will this choice bring me long-term fulfillment OR will it bring me short-term gratification?

Certainly a good question!! Not that there's anything wrong with having a hot chocolate every now and then. But if my long-term goal is to lose weight or eat healthier or whatever... then choosing a DQ Peanut Buster Parfait (yum!) isn't necessarily contributing to long-term fulfillment! Or if I want to travel to Spain in 2012 and do the Santiago pilgrimage... and I keep watching TV instead of jumping on the treadmill... well... short-term gratification definitely is winning out. So that is the question to ask... She also makes a distinction between instant gratification and instantaneous gratification... Really, is there any instant gratification, where it's gratifying and it lasts? Or is it all instantaneous, happens in the moment and when the taste of it wears off, there is guilt and bad feelings and beating oneself up??

Sigh... a good question to ask during Cheezie cravings... or ice cream cravings... And sure, I might know that what the good choice is... and yet I still have to choose it. It really does come back to those unspoken committments... am I really committed to a healthy body and lifestyle... or not!!

The Future or the Past?

1. Will this choice propel me toward an inspiring future OR will it keep me stuck in the past?

Yeah, going to take a look at the 10 Right Questions by Debbie Ford... Just reading this little chapter now and something she just wrote struck me... We are never standing still, we are never stagnating... we are always moving in either of two directions... towards the past or towards the future. Even choosing to do nothing is a choice...Fear keeps us moving into the Past, afraid of what the future might hold. The future holds our desires, our visions, our imaginings... everything that inspires us and moves and calls us... We might think that it is the big choices that make a differerence and that small choices don't make a difference... but 100 small choices in the wrong direction can add up quickly... the cost of not returning a phone call or paying our bills late or of eating one bag of cheezies and drinking one Coke... What does it sound like?? "I'll start tomorrow. It's too hard. It's not important. It really doesn't matter. I can't change. Things are OK they way they are. What if it doesn't work out??" Bullshit.

I have a gift for writing... I love to write... I have a vision of me as a writer with many books published.... Every day as I sit here and debate what to do... whether I should write or whether I should do something else... So the question is... will I choose the future or will I choose the past. I'll know because when I choose the future, I am energized, inspired, filled with passion and excitement... like when I am writing these blogs! And when I choose the past, I am fearful, confused, despondent, lacking direction, unsure and unsafe... I have the choice... I am the only one who can choose... As a friend once said "choose life"!!!

The Right Questions

Ah yes... I didn't share the Right Questions yesterday from Debbie Ford's book (The Right Questions)... haven't actually read that part of the book yet... But supposedly asking yourself these questions when faced with a choice will dodge the excuse and rationalization bullet and make it clear which action will ultimately move your forward... Would be interesting to try this for a month or so...

1. Will this choice propel me toward an inspiring future OR will it keep me stuck in the past?
2. Will this choice bring me long-term fulfillment OR will it bring me short-term gratification?
3. Am I standing in my power OR am I trying to please another?
4. Am I looking for what's right OR am I looking for what's wrong?
5. Will this choice add to my life force OR will it rob me of my energy?
6. Will I use this situation as a catalyst to grow and evolve OR will I use it to beat myself up?
7. Does this choice empower me OR does it disempower me?
8. Is this an act of self-love OR is it an act of self-sabotage?
9. Is this an act of faith OR Is it an act of fear?
10. Am I choosing from my divinity OR am I choosing from my humanity?

Supposedly these questions bypass the intellect and the emotions and if you ask yourself these questions, you will know the choice that will bring you life and the choice that will dim your flame...

Obviously, you're not going to ask all of these questions in a split second, but... even one or two will provide the results... Are these Cheezies going to bring me long-term fulfillment or short-term gratification?? Sigh... we know the answer to that! The question then is... am I person who is committed to living in the light, to feeding my flame, OR am I person committed to dimming my flame... Who am I really?? Who do I want to be?? Do I have a vision of where my life is going, or am I operating on auto-pilot??? She has a whole chapter on waking up from autopilot.... Yup, shift out of autopilot and zombie zone and living in a rut into something else, something that calls me to make choices that propel me out of the rut and into creating life rather than surviving life...

Great book!! And only $18.99 at Chapters!!