Creating Space

This week I managed to clear quite a few "long-time" residents off of my to-do list. Some of these things have been languishing there since before last September! This week though, I tackled them and completed them. There is a huge amount of satisfaction in being able to scratch them off my list. It creates a great feeling of space, both psychological and physical. I've had some of these things taking up space in my office, getting pushed from one corner to another. Now, I can clear them out and put them away... A great sensation.

And completing these things, gives me space to complete other things as well. Which is a nice little positive-feedback loop. Much preferable to the other one... the one where I start to let things accumulate... and the more they accumulate, the more other things begin to accumulate. Until finally, I'm drowning in my to-do list and feeling overwhelmed, closed-in, frazzled and overworked. I spend hours just frittering away time because I feel so overwhelmed... which just makes me feel more overwhelmed... Nasty little cycle.

The trick always is to break the cycle. To just start with something... one of the something's that I've been avoiding for so long. Maybe not the biggest something, but it doesn't really matter how big or small it is. All that matters is that I start somewhere. If I start with something small, then I can clear a bit of space and move on to something a bit bigger... Which creats even more space.

It's that little movement of starting... that's where I get stuck. I don't start. I sit there and dither for a while, or do anything and everything but that. I dodge the issue. I side-step it. I push it around on my desk. I organize my desk. I organize everything but the very thing I'm supposed to be organizing. UGH! So, what is that lack of "starting-ness"? I don't know... probably a form of procrastination. It'll be too hard. It'll take too long. It'll be too big. I need to prepare more. I don't have all the information that I need. I don't know what to do with something... All of these things sound a lot like excuses, because they are! I get stuck in my excuses and my justifications... and it sucks me down... Step aside excuses!!