I like to keep my email Inbox empty. It's not meant to be a holding pen of reminders. "Oh yeah, I still need to email Michael those pictures". Because, when it's got a backlog of emails, it means that I have procrastinated on every single one. "Right, need to send Rose some manuscript pages... I'll do that later." One rule of thumb says that you should reply to emails within 48 hours... some of my emails sit in my Inbox for much longer.
Right now, there is one in particular that is bothering me... because I don't know what to do about it. It's an email from a professional association, reminding me that if I pay by November 16, I can get a discount on my annual dues. Simple really. I could pay the dues now and get a discount. Or I could let it sit and then pay full price. Except for one tiny thing. I haven't actually worked in that field for 15 years or so. I'm still a member of this association... but I no longer work in that area of expertise. But I'm still a member. Why? Good question.
Because I think... what if? What if I decide to go back to that area sometime down the road. It would be helpful to have that designation, wouldn't it? It looks good on my resume. And it's not that much... only $40/year (because I qualify for the "unemployed" category). But... for years after I left the field, I also paid the dues for my Professional Provincial designation ($300/year). Until finally I said enough and resigned in good standing. But... I wonder, should I have kept that? Ach... indecision.
I suppose part of it is hanging onto the past. I wonder if maybe I'll need those things in the future. I've turned my back fairly completely on that area of employment but... I still hang onto it. See my problem? Indecision... uncertainty... procrastination. The professional membership doesn't really benefit me in any way... so what if I am a "Fellow" in the membership ranks. I need to make a decision, one way or the other.
Or that email will sit in my Inbox, nagging me... reminding me that I am a ditherer sometimes... which is not how I want to see myself. Choose... in or out.
Showing posts with label Procrastination. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Procrastination. Show all posts
Friday, October 16, 2015
Friday, September 25, 2015
Procrastination - My Achilles Heel
Mañana. Tomorrow. Later. Yup, I'll do it later. In a few hours. After I finish what I'm working on. This evening. I'll tackle it when I have more time. Maybe more energy.
That's me... to a T. An email comes into my Inbox and I'll read it and think - "I need to respond to this, but not right now, I'll do it later." And I go on to the next email. The first email... the one I want to respond to, sits in my Inbox for days... weeks... months. I leave it there as a reminder that I need to deal with it. There is one email there that I received on May 3. Yeah - four and a half months later.
The thing is... once a day or two has gone by, I feel bad that I haven't responded... and so I feel even less inclined to answer the email because now I'll need to apologize for my lateness. So I procrastinate even more. Which leads to a nasty vicious cycle - and voila - months go by.
So, today... I decided to tackle the seven emails that have been languishing in my Inbox for weeks/months. I got three done no problem (they were all from the same person) and then got stuck again. I felt so good about answering the three, that I thought, I'll do the other four some other time. See how it goes?
So I took a closer look at what gets in the way for me and it runs something like this:
The "I don't know what to say" thing means that I actually have to decide what to say. I have to make a choice and devote a bit of thought to it. To me, that sometimes feels like an energy drain. I don't want to make a decision. I don't want to choose. It's too hard! So, in avoiding these decisions... I end up tying myself in knots and letting my Inbox get fuller and fuller. That is where the real energy drain happens - in opening up my Inbox and seeing those seven emails still sitting there, glaring at me with accusation.
It would be so much easier, and less draining, if I would just tackle the emails as they come in. Handle things as they show up. Not necessarily within the hour... but at least within the day or the next two days. There's a rule of thumb that every email should get some sort of response within 48 hours. Not email advertisements obviously, but emails from contacts. It is definitely something to which I aspire.
And now... the even crazier thing... I can easily waste hours in a day checking the news or doing some inane research on the internet. It's mindless... and I don't have to make any momentous decisions. So really, I'm a decision-phobe. And you know why? Deep down... I avoid decisions because I'm afraid that whatever path I choose, it will be the wrong one. Somehow I will make the wrong decision. And I'll discover that whatever I did wasn't quite good enough. The way I answer an email won't be good enough. The person won't like me because I gave a crappy answer, or a wrong answer, or a short answer. Of course, they might not like me because I've been so late with the answer too!
Look, I'm super organized. I know how to prioritize. I know how to make to-do lists. I know how to get things done. I've even motivated to get stuff done but... deep down, I struggle with some really disempowering beliefs that show up in something as minor as old emails.
You see... this pattern shows up in other areas as well - work projects, a book manuscript. I get started on things with gusto and follow through to about the 90% mark and then I swerve off-focus. I struggle to finish things. I postpone the ending. I put it off. Because finishing the project or the manuscript will mean that someone, somewhere, is going to give me feedback on it... and it might not be good enough. It might need editing... or revisions... or a rewrite. Which means I screwed up. Nasty, hey?
So I have a lot of 90% finished tasks on the go... which means I'm dragged down by a lot of energy-suckers. Because everything that I haven't finished/completed, drains some energy. I know it's there, not finished... and I know that I need to finish it... but I don't. I'm afraid to finish it... and so I fritter my time away on meaningless tasks. It's all relative really. If I'm avoiding working on the book manuscript, I'll answer old emails. If I'm avoiding answering old emails, I'll check the weather or the news or the stock report. All to avoid making a decision... because decisions are scary hard.
That's me... to a T. An email comes into my Inbox and I'll read it and think - "I need to respond to this, but not right now, I'll do it later." And I go on to the next email. The first email... the one I want to respond to, sits in my Inbox for days... weeks... months. I leave it there as a reminder that I need to deal with it. There is one email there that I received on May 3. Yeah - four and a half months later.
So, today... I decided to tackle the seven emails that have been languishing in my Inbox for weeks/months. I got three done no problem (they were all from the same person) and then got stuck again. I felt so good about answering the three, that I thought, I'll do the other four some other time. See how it goes?
So I took a closer look at what gets in the way for me and it runs something like this:
- I don't know what to say
- It's been so long, the person thinks I'm a doofus for not replying
- It will take too much time
- I don't have the energy
- It's too hard
- I want to do something easier
The "I don't know what to say" thing means that I actually have to decide what to say. I have to make a choice and devote a bit of thought to it. To me, that sometimes feels like an energy drain. I don't want to make a decision. I don't want to choose. It's too hard! So, in avoiding these decisions... I end up tying myself in knots and letting my Inbox get fuller and fuller. That is where the real energy drain happens - in opening up my Inbox and seeing those seven emails still sitting there, glaring at me with accusation.
It would be so much easier, and less draining, if I would just tackle the emails as they come in. Handle things as they show up. Not necessarily within the hour... but at least within the day or the next two days. There's a rule of thumb that every email should get some sort of response within 48 hours. Not email advertisements obviously, but emails from contacts. It is definitely something to which I aspire.
And now... the even crazier thing... I can easily waste hours in a day checking the news or doing some inane research on the internet. It's mindless... and I don't have to make any momentous decisions. So really, I'm a decision-phobe. And you know why? Deep down... I avoid decisions because I'm afraid that whatever path I choose, it will be the wrong one. Somehow I will make the wrong decision. And I'll discover that whatever I did wasn't quite good enough. The way I answer an email won't be good enough. The person won't like me because I gave a crappy answer, or a wrong answer, or a short answer. Of course, they might not like me because I've been so late with the answer too!
Look, I'm super organized. I know how to prioritize. I know how to make to-do lists. I know how to get things done. I've even motivated to get stuff done but... deep down, I struggle with some really disempowering beliefs that show up in something as minor as old emails.
You see... this pattern shows up in other areas as well - work projects, a book manuscript. I get started on things with gusto and follow through to about the 90% mark and then I swerve off-focus. I struggle to finish things. I postpone the ending. I put it off. Because finishing the project or the manuscript will mean that someone, somewhere, is going to give me feedback on it... and it might not be good enough. It might need editing... or revisions... or a rewrite. Which means I screwed up. Nasty, hey?
So I have a lot of 90% finished tasks on the go... which means I'm dragged down by a lot of energy-suckers. Because everything that I haven't finished/completed, drains some energy. I know it's there, not finished... and I know that I need to finish it... but I don't. I'm afraid to finish it... and so I fritter my time away on meaningless tasks. It's all relative really. If I'm avoiding working on the book manuscript, I'll answer old emails. If I'm avoiding answering old emails, I'll check the weather or the news or the stock report. All to avoid making a decision... because decisions are scary hard.
Saturday, February 21, 2015
My Fickle Relationship with Time
Time. It's a four-letter word. Some see it as a nasty word. Others see it as a word full of promise and possibilities. We all have a relationship with time, a relationship that is as individual and varied as each person. No other person can understand your relationship with time.
Myself... well, I've had a tumultuous relationship with time. There are periods where time and I get along quite fine. We work in harmony and I feel as if time is on my side. We are pulling in the same direction and things are getting done at an amazing rate. There are, however, other periods where time and I seem to work at cross-purposes. I sit and procrastinate. I fritter away long periods of time doing absolutely nothing of value. Time gets bored with me and flies away and I am left at the end of the day with nothing to show for my activity.
Case in point, I have been sitting here for about an hour (at my favourite Starbucks), waiting for inspiration to strike me. I have read the news, scanned my Feedly articles, researched a variety of odd topics and been left bereft of any topic.
I feel out of sorts. I know that this past week was not a productive one, at least in the field of writing. I did get a few other things done in other fields but... the writing is where I get stuck. When I get stuck with writing... other areas of my life grind to a halt as well. My to-do list, postponed from one day to the next gets longer and longer. I try to tackle the small things, but even those seem to take an inordinate amount of time. Time and I are working in different directions. I don't trust time. I am fearful of what will transpire if I give myself up to the writing. As a result, time turns up its nose at me, frustrated with my lack of purpose. It falls through my fingers, pooling on the floor and seeping into the cracks, never to be regained.
Time is a funny thing. It's not like money or material goods. We can't save it and hoard it for a future when it will be in short supply. We are given our daily dose of time, so much and no more. And yet time is a relative thing. From one day to the next, time can pass with dazzling speed or meander at a sedate pace. It is all in my perspective. Time doesn't really change... it is my perception of time that alters. I control time. Whether I choose to or not. My attitude, my mood, my feelings - all contribute to my sense of time.
If I believe a task will be onerous, I postpone it. I procrastinate. I put it off from one day to the next, from one week to the next. But while a task may be off my immediate to-do list, it is not off my mental radar. I know it is there, waiting for me in the future, ready to pounce. It saps my energy. The days and weeks pass and I devote hours and days to worrying about the task.
The ridiculous thing is that when I actually buckle down and tackle the task, I find it might take 5 or 10 minutes to complete. But how many untold minutes have I worried about the task? How much energy has been sapped from my psyche by this uncompleted task?
For months... since August actually, I have wanted to connect with the writer of a German book. I have postponed that task innumerable times, always with a variety of excuses. I didn't have her email address. My German was too sketchy to write. I didn't know what to say. A few days ago, I sat down, typed in her name and the title of the book. I found the publisher's website (which I had done months ago as well). I found the Contact Us page and wrote a two-line email to the publisher asking that they pass my email along to the author. I gave a one line synopsis of my interest in her book. Hit Send. Done. Total task time - 3 minutes. Total pysche time - months. ***head thumps down on desk***
I know this. I know this is how I operate. I know that incomplete tasks sap my energy. I know that unanswered emails drain my attention. Yet, I continue to sit and ignore them. It's too hard. I don't know what to say. It will be too complicated. It will take too long. And so I check the online news... or do some research... or tidy the house. Why??
There have been studies done on the benefits of delayed gratification. Sit a child down in front of a marshmallow. Tell the child that if they can wait 5 minutes before eating the marshmallow, they will get a second marshmallow. Watch what child does. Some children are great at delayed gratification. They wait for 5 minutes and happily walk away with two marshmallows. These same children go on to succeed in various areas of life. Other children can't wait. They figure that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. So they eat the first marshmallow. These children tend to struggle later in life. I am great at delayed gratification. But I wonder... would the same work for delayed "struggle".
I think that a task is going to be a struggle, so rather than tackle it, I postpone the struggle. I think that maybe it will get better with time (not true). I think that I will be better prepared in a day, a week, a month (not true). I think that I can't handle the struggle right now, so it would be better to handle it later. It's the reverse of the gratification scenario. I think it will be better in the future, but it really isn't. And in the meantime... I worry about the task, I mentally review the task, I postpone the task. See? I control time.
Myself... well, I've had a tumultuous relationship with time. There are periods where time and I get along quite fine. We work in harmony and I feel as if time is on my side. We are pulling in the same direction and things are getting done at an amazing rate. There are, however, other periods where time and I seem to work at cross-purposes. I sit and procrastinate. I fritter away long periods of time doing absolutely nothing of value. Time gets bored with me and flies away and I am left at the end of the day with nothing to show for my activity.
Case in point, I have been sitting here for about an hour (at my favourite Starbucks), waiting for inspiration to strike me. I have read the news, scanned my Feedly articles, researched a variety of odd topics and been left bereft of any topic.
I feel out of sorts. I know that this past week was not a productive one, at least in the field of writing. I did get a few other things done in other fields but... the writing is where I get stuck. When I get stuck with writing... other areas of my life grind to a halt as well. My to-do list, postponed from one day to the next gets longer and longer. I try to tackle the small things, but even those seem to take an inordinate amount of time. Time and I are working in different directions. I don't trust time. I am fearful of what will transpire if I give myself up to the writing. As a result, time turns up its nose at me, frustrated with my lack of purpose. It falls through my fingers, pooling on the floor and seeping into the cracks, never to be regained.
Time is a funny thing. It's not like money or material goods. We can't save it and hoard it for a future when it will be in short supply. We are given our daily dose of time, so much and no more. And yet time is a relative thing. From one day to the next, time can pass with dazzling speed or meander at a sedate pace. It is all in my perspective. Time doesn't really change... it is my perception of time that alters. I control time. Whether I choose to or not. My attitude, my mood, my feelings - all contribute to my sense of time.
If I believe a task will be onerous, I postpone it. I procrastinate. I put it off from one day to the next, from one week to the next. But while a task may be off my immediate to-do list, it is not off my mental radar. I know it is there, waiting for me in the future, ready to pounce. It saps my energy. The days and weeks pass and I devote hours and days to worrying about the task.
The ridiculous thing is that when I actually buckle down and tackle the task, I find it might take 5 or 10 minutes to complete. But how many untold minutes have I worried about the task? How much energy has been sapped from my psyche by this uncompleted task?
For months... since August actually, I have wanted to connect with the writer of a German book. I have postponed that task innumerable times, always with a variety of excuses. I didn't have her email address. My German was too sketchy to write. I didn't know what to say. A few days ago, I sat down, typed in her name and the title of the book. I found the publisher's website (which I had done months ago as well). I found the Contact Us page and wrote a two-line email to the publisher asking that they pass my email along to the author. I gave a one line synopsis of my interest in her book. Hit Send. Done. Total task time - 3 minutes. Total pysche time - months. ***head thumps down on desk***
I know this. I know this is how I operate. I know that incomplete tasks sap my energy. I know that unanswered emails drain my attention. Yet, I continue to sit and ignore them. It's too hard. I don't know what to say. It will be too complicated. It will take too long. And so I check the online news... or do some research... or tidy the house. Why??
There have been studies done on the benefits of delayed gratification. Sit a child down in front of a marshmallow. Tell the child that if they can wait 5 minutes before eating the marshmallow, they will get a second marshmallow. Watch what child does. Some children are great at delayed gratification. They wait for 5 minutes and happily walk away with two marshmallows. These same children go on to succeed in various areas of life. Other children can't wait. They figure that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. So they eat the first marshmallow. These children tend to struggle later in life. I am great at delayed gratification. But I wonder... would the same work for delayed "struggle".
I think that a task is going to be a struggle, so rather than tackle it, I postpone the struggle. I think that maybe it will get better with time (not true). I think that I will be better prepared in a day, a week, a month (not true). I think that I can't handle the struggle right now, so it would be better to handle it later. It's the reverse of the gratification scenario. I think it will be better in the future, but it really isn't. And in the meantime... I worry about the task, I mentally review the task, I postpone the task. See? I control time.
Saturday, February 7, 2015
"What Are You Waiting For" (Nickelback)
As I was driving to Starbucks this morning - my weekly treat to myself - I thought about last weekend and how the foggy roads had given me inspiration for a blog posting. The roads were not foggy this morning... but as the thought came to me, I tuned in to the song that was playing on the radio. It was by Nickelback. They do have a distinctive sound! I caught the tail end of the song and the refrain was:
Hmmm... a message from the universe?? When I got to Starbucks, I listened to the entire song on YouTube.
And... well... clearly it IS a message from the universe. Not just for me, but I would guess for most people. But I'm not writing for other people, I'm writing for me.
They lyrics document a lot of my excuses:
I want to write articles. But I don't. What am I waiting for?
I want to create another blog about Living a Simple Life and Making a Difference. What am I waiting for?
For approval? For acclaim? For an invitation? Crazy, really. But procrastination is an insidious, creeping blight upon my life. "I'll start tomorrow". "I'll do it next week."
Enough.
What are you waiting for?
Hmmm... a message from the universe?? When I got to Starbucks, I listened to the entire song on YouTube.
And... well... clearly it IS a message from the universe. Not just for me, but I would guess for most people. But I'm not writing for other people, I'm writing for me.
They lyrics document a lot of my excuses:
What are you waiting for?I have been working on the book about my grandfather for years. Years. I want to have it published. But I hesitate. What am I waiting for? More research? The right time? The perfect manuscript? A lightening strike? The moment when I feel "ready"? What does that even mean - "ready"?
What are you waiting for?
Are you waiting on a lightning strike?
Are you waiting for the perfect night?
Are you waiting till the time is right?
What are you waiting for
Don't you wanna learn to deal with fear
Don't you wanna take the wheel and steer
Don't you wait another minute here
What are you waiting for?
You gotta go and reach for the top
Believe in every dream that you got
You only living one so tell me?
What are you, what are you waiting for?
You know you gotta give it your all
And don't you be afraid if you fall
You only living one so tell me?
What are you, what are you waiting for?
Are you waiting for the right excuse?
Are you waiting for a sign to choose
While your waiting it's the time you lose
What are you waiting for?
Don't you wanna spread your wings and fly?
Don't you wanna really live your life?
Don't you wanna love before you die?
What are you waiting for?
You gotta go and reach for the top
Believe in every dream that you got
You only living one so tell me?
What are you, what are you waiting for?
You know you gotta give it your all
And don't you be afraid if you fall
You only living one so tell me?
What are you, what are you waiting for?
Tell me what your waiting for
Show me what your aiming for
What you gonna save it for?
So what you really waiting for?
Tell me what your waiting for
Show me what your aiming for
What you gonna save it for?
So what you really waiting for?
Everybody's gonna make mistakes
But everybody's got a choice to make
Everybody needs a leap of faith
When are you taking yours?
You gotta go and reach for the top
Believe in every dream that you got
You only living one so tell me?
I want to write articles. But I don't. What am I waiting for?
I want to create another blog about Living a Simple Life and Making a Difference. What am I waiting for?
For approval? For acclaim? For an invitation? Crazy, really. But procrastination is an insidious, creeping blight upon my life. "I'll start tomorrow". "I'll do it next week."
Enough.
Monday, May 9, 2011
To Bike or not to Bike
Well, the reservoir is slowly becoming ice-free, so spring must be here. It's still around 0C in the mornings though. But the buds on the trees are slowly starting to unfurl. I wasn't here last spring and can't remember the previous spring so... for me this seems like a very long winter and a very slow spring and maybe even a short summer. I've heard various predictions - long hot summer, short wet summer... I guess we'll just have to wait and see what Mother Nature brings us.
One thing with the weather is this... I can't keep waiting for the weather to be right for me to do things. I get on my bike in the mornings weather it's warm or chilly. If I keep waiting for it to warm up, it will be August before I get on my bike! Of course, the weather is always a great excuse for not doing things, or for putting things off indefinitely... It's part of that little procrastination habit that we've all picked up. We look around and find all sorts of reasons why we can't do certain things... we can create excuses out of the smallest thing.
For me, the nasty thing with excuses is... I don't even realize that is what they are. They camouflage themselves as reasonable comments. They hide as justifications. They lurk in the shadows and I think that they are actually quite logical. But when I realize how they are keeping things from moving forward... well, then something can start to happen.
One thing with the weather is this... I can't keep waiting for the weather to be right for me to do things. I get on my bike in the mornings weather it's warm or chilly. If I keep waiting for it to warm up, it will be August before I get on my bike! Of course, the weather is always a great excuse for not doing things, or for putting things off indefinitely... It's part of that little procrastination habit that we've all picked up. We look around and find all sorts of reasons why we can't do certain things... we can create excuses out of the smallest thing.
For me, the nasty thing with excuses is... I don't even realize that is what they are. They camouflage themselves as reasonable comments. They hide as justifications. They lurk in the shadows and I think that they are actually quite logical. But when I realize how they are keeping things from moving forward... well, then something can start to happen.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Just Do It
So, I've been mentioning these items on my to-do list, that have been living there since before September last year - which is a good 8 or 9 months. They lived there for so long because other things were always more important. They were too "complicated". There were too many pieces to do with them. They were just plan tedious. I always figured they would take too much time. Yada, yada, yada...
Yesterday I actually managed to complete several of them. To be fair, I've been plugging away at them for the last couple of weeks or so, but yesterday, I was actually able to scratch them off of my to-do list. That is quite the sense of accomplishment! And it creates an amazing sense of space for me. Something that has been hanging around, nagging at me... is finally done. It didn't take as long as a I though. It was a bit tedious, but I just need to put one foot in front of the other and take one step at a time. In doing that... it finally got completed.
I don't know why I do this to myself... let things hang around for so long. Having things on my to-do list for so long drains my psychic energy, reminds me that I have unfinished things hanging around my space and just contributes to a feeling of clutter and being overwhelmed. I guess it's the whole procrastination thing... We all do it to a certain extend... all put things off when we should sit down and do them. Sometimes with things, we think that if we put them off, somehow it will get better. That doesn't always work... Think of taxes! Not a good idea to put them off for months and years! Far better to just do it... because it's only going to get worse in the long run. Things generally aren't going to get easier or smaller or less tedious if we put them off. At least not in my experience...
Yesterday I actually managed to complete several of them. To be fair, I've been plugging away at them for the last couple of weeks or so, but yesterday, I was actually able to scratch them off of my to-do list. That is quite the sense of accomplishment! And it creates an amazing sense of space for me. Something that has been hanging around, nagging at me... is finally done. It didn't take as long as a I though. It was a bit tedious, but I just need to put one foot in front of the other and take one step at a time. In doing that... it finally got completed.
I don't know why I do this to myself... let things hang around for so long. Having things on my to-do list for so long drains my psychic energy, reminds me that I have unfinished things hanging around my space and just contributes to a feeling of clutter and being overwhelmed. I guess it's the whole procrastination thing... We all do it to a certain extend... all put things off when we should sit down and do them. Sometimes with things, we think that if we put them off, somehow it will get better. That doesn't always work... Think of taxes! Not a good idea to put them off for months and years! Far better to just do it... because it's only going to get worse in the long run. Things generally aren't going to get easier or smaller or less tedious if we put them off. At least not in my experience...
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Creating Space
This week I managed to clear quite a few "long-time" residents off of my to-do list. Some of these things have been languishing there since before last September! This week though, I tackled them and completed them. There is a huge amount of satisfaction in being able to scratch them off my list. It creates a great feeling of space, both psychological and physical. I've had some of these things taking up space in my office, getting pushed from one corner to another. Now, I can clear them out and put them away... A great sensation.
And completing these things, gives me space to complete other things as well. Which is a nice little positive-feedback loop. Much preferable to the other one... the one where I start to let things accumulate... and the more they accumulate, the more other things begin to accumulate. Until finally, I'm drowning in my to-do list and feeling overwhelmed, closed-in, frazzled and overworked. I spend hours just frittering away time because I feel so overwhelmed... which just makes me feel more overwhelmed... Nasty little cycle.
The trick always is to break the cycle. To just start with something... one of the something's that I've been avoiding for so long. Maybe not the biggest something, but it doesn't really matter how big or small it is. All that matters is that I start somewhere. If I start with something small, then I can clear a bit of space and move on to something a bit bigger... Which creats even more space.
It's that little movement of starting... that's where I get stuck. I don't start. I sit there and dither for a while, or do anything and everything but that. I dodge the issue. I side-step it. I push it around on my desk. I organize my desk. I organize everything but the very thing I'm supposed to be organizing. UGH! So, what is that lack of "starting-ness"? I don't know... probably a form of procrastination. It'll be too hard. It'll take too long. It'll be too big. I need to prepare more. I don't have all the information that I need. I don't know what to do with something... All of these things sound a lot like excuses, because they are! I get stuck in my excuses and my justifications... and it sucks me down... Step aside excuses!!
And completing these things, gives me space to complete other things as well. Which is a nice little positive-feedback loop. Much preferable to the other one... the one where I start to let things accumulate... and the more they accumulate, the more other things begin to accumulate. Until finally, I'm drowning in my to-do list and feeling overwhelmed, closed-in, frazzled and overworked. I spend hours just frittering away time because I feel so overwhelmed... which just makes me feel more overwhelmed... Nasty little cycle.
The trick always is to break the cycle. To just start with something... one of the something's that I've been avoiding for so long. Maybe not the biggest something, but it doesn't really matter how big or small it is. All that matters is that I start somewhere. If I start with something small, then I can clear a bit of space and move on to something a bit bigger... Which creats even more space.
It's that little movement of starting... that's where I get stuck. I don't start. I sit there and dither for a while, or do anything and everything but that. I dodge the issue. I side-step it. I push it around on my desk. I organize my desk. I organize everything but the very thing I'm supposed to be organizing. UGH! So, what is that lack of "starting-ness"? I don't know... probably a form of procrastination. It'll be too hard. It'll take too long. It'll be too big. I need to prepare more. I don't have all the information that I need. I don't know what to do with something... All of these things sound a lot like excuses, because they are! I get stuck in my excuses and my justifications... and it sucks me down... Step aside excuses!!
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