Monday, March 21, 2011

Taste of Fear

Fear... yeah... it comes up... And I'm starting to recognize the feeling of it, the taste of it, the sense of it. Fear makes me feel weak and inadequate. Fear makes me feel like there are no possibilities out there. Fear is a dark cloud with no hope and no way forward. Fear wants me to stay stuck and wallow in it. Fear makes me feel sick. Fear makes me sick! Fear drains my energy, drains my passion. Fear eats me alive. Fear never has enough. Fear wants me to drink the whole cup... the cup that never empties, because it keeps filling up. No matter how much I drink from the cup of fear, it never goes away, it never exhausts itself.

I am beginning to recognize it when it shows up... And recognize that it is my thoughts that are creating the fear... it is my thoughts that are keeping it alive. It is my thoughts that keep drinking from the cup of fear... so that my thoughts feed the fear, which then feeds the thoughts. It is quite a nasty little cycle.

The thing for me to do now... is just to get that the fear is there... and to recognize that I am creating it... I am the author of it... and to just see it for what it is, and then choose to shift my thoughts... and just move through the fear. If fear says "this will happen if you're not careful"... it is just to declare something else... and to do what ever it is that I am fearful of doing... Without the fear colouring it... My life, my thoughts, my fear... my choice....

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