Act of Faith or Act of Fear?

9. Is this an act of faith OR is it an act of fear?

When I live my life rooted in faith, faith that things will work out, faith that the universe will provide... I am facing the future, facing the flow of the river and open to whatever might come. There is excitement in that and trust!

When I live my life rooted in fear... I am firmly gripped by the past, rooted in my fear of rejection, fear that things won't work out, fear that I will be alone, fear that people won't like me. There is only fear in that... fear and insecurity and mistrust... and it is a yucky place!

So, for me particularly, I need to recognize that when fear shows up, I am being encouraged to flip around in the river and face the future and trust. It can show up in something as simple as not opening an email from a friend, because I haven't communicated with them in a while, and there is a niggling fear that they are going to tell me to buzz off... go figure, eh?? And so even though that is a small thing, I am clear that when fear shows up, I have a choice before me... to give in to the fear and stick with the past, or to step out and seize the moment and have faith it will all turn out!!

So on this New Year's Eve... I am committing to asking myself this question in the New Year... over and over again... and choosing faith rather than fear!

Self-love or Self-sabotage?

8. Is this an act of self-love OR is it an act of self-sabotage?

A very good question! Are the choices that I make demonstrating that I love myself, all of me, that I care about myself, and that I am taking care of myself?? Or are they acts of self-sabotage... taking me farther away from self-care and taking me farther away from my dreams and desire and vision?

If I can't love myself... how can I love others? If I look for love from others to satisfy my own need for love... it will never work. If I love myself, though... that love will shine out for others to see and will even increase their capacity for self-love...

This is apparently one of the most difficult ones... to practice self-love... I know that I'm not always very successful at it! I was doing pretty good with exercise during the summer but now I've slackd off... I am doing good with not drinking Coke... not so good with chocolate at the moment (Christmas is a bad time!)... I am taking time for myself each day to go to Starbucks and have a hot chocolate and read a book... It is a outing, a time for me, free of all the distractions like email and dishes and laundry... Time just for me! So... a question... am I choosing self-love or self-sabotage??

Empower or Disempower?

7. Does this choice empower me OR does it disempower me?

When we are empowered we feel strong, alive, clear with a vibrant energy. We are in the flow... there is a deep inner knowing that we are exactly where we need to be. We are in balance...

When we are disempowered, we feel off balance, out of sorts, insecure, inadequate and resigned. We might feel hopelessness and mistrust, not even trusting ourselves...

I've experienced both and would much rather be in a place of empowerment than one of disempowerment!! There is much more of a sense of flow and peace and just all-round joy when I am in a place of empowerment... And the other is just yucky!

So, before I make a choice, I need to decide, given my goals and desires and dreams, will this choice empower me and support me in moving forward in the direction of those very same things... or will it disempower me and keep me stuck and moving farther away from my goals?? How committed am I to my stated desires, goals, vision??

A Catalyst to Grow or Beating Myself Up?

6. Will I use this situation as a catalyst to grow and evolve OR will I use it to beat myself up?
This is another good one! Things happen in our lives, not always the way we would want them to happen... And sometimes we don't even want some things to happen. But, guess what... they do happen! That is often beyond our control. What is within our control is what we do with it! Can we accept that right now, whatever is happening, is exactly what is supposed to be happening, and that somewhere in all of that mess and suffering, there is an opportunity for us to grow and evolve and transform? It's all in our perspective... We can look at things as if they are being done to us and we have no control and we should have made different choices and we should have... and we should have... Or we can shift our perception, shift our lenses and look to see what this experience can teach us today.

This is a challenge!! At least for me... But I'm beginning to recognize that I have a choice in each and every situation and encounter and interaction... I am the one who can decide how I am going to react, how I am going to hold things... how I will interpret things... I can interpret things as being "crappy" or I can look for something else in there... a learning... a deeper meaning...

Add to My Life Force or Rob me of my Energy

5. Will this Choice Add to My Life Force OR will it Rob Me of My Energy

Taking a look at life, what are the things that rob us of our energy?? What are the things that don't add to our life force. If we think of our life force as a roaring fire within us, there are things that either add to it, or things that diminish it. Being stuck in the past, focussing on old regrets and hurts, nurturing resentment against what people have done to us... all these things rob us of our energy...

When I look at my life... what are the things that rob me of my energy... not exercising... eating Cheezies... watching too much TV (and I know what too much is for me!)... not answering emails or letters promptly... holding resentments against others... having a messy desk... not doing things for "me"... All these things drain me of my energy and keep me stuck... I don't want to live like that!!! And so then the question is... what are the things that add to my life force... exercising... eating right... doing youa in the mornings... writing my morning pages... writing (period!!)... keeping a tidy, organized workspace... answering things promptly...

So whenever I am faced with a life choice... it is another good question to ask... Will going for a hot chocolate at Starbucks add to my life force or rob me of my energy???

I really like these questions!! I find that I am starting to ask myself them as I go through my day. When I am (often!) tempted to postpone an email response or something... I take a quick look and know that it is going to be something that's going to drag at me... so better to clean it up now and keep moving forward!

What's Right or What's Wrong

4. Am I looking for What's Right OR Am I looking for What's Wrong?

Oooh this is a really good one!! Because we are trained almost from birth to notice what is wrong in a certain situation. But when we look for what's wrong in a situation or a relationship, we feel bad, resigned and disappointed. Looking for what's wrong makes us feel like shit! We're looking for all the ways in which things "should not be"... instead of accepting things for how they are. But when we look for what's wrong, perhaps the wrongness does not lie out there... but rather within ourselves, within the lenses through which we look at the world!

Looking for what is right takes practice, but when we do it, we feel good, strong and worthy. And all it takes is a shift in perception... Instead of looking for what is wrong and blaming others... what if we refocus and look for what is right!? What is right about this person or this situation? What do I love about this person... what do I appreciate about this person?? How could this situation be a great blessing for me today!? Who knows what might show up for us?? And all it takes is a shift in our way of thinking, a shift in our conversation... our internal conversation... A shift from looking for what is wrong to looking for what is right... Might make all the difference in the world!! And for me, this is an easy one to remember... Now... to put it into practice!

Standing in my Power or Trying to Please Another

3. Am I standing in my power OR am I trying to please another?

Can I honour myself, stand in my own power, even though it means going against popular opinion? Or give away my power trying to please someone else... Living from my power, standing in my power, means honouring myself, living a life of integrity, following my soul's desires (not someone elses'... MINE!). It means being alligned with our highest self and trusting ourselves enough to follow our hearts... even if it disappoints someone else...

When we are disconnected from our integrity, we feel timid and intimidated... Whenever we try to please another and forsake our own truth for theirs, we relinquish some of our power. And when we're not being true to our personal integrity, we disconnect ourselves from our innate intelligence and our intuitive wisdom... That inner voice that tells us things aren't quite right...

In order to stand fully in our power, we have to become comfortable with confrontation... Pleasing others is a habit we developed when we were young, but it doesn't serve us as adults! We give away our power for the approval of others... we damage ourselves... and creating a heck of a lot of resentment, often towards the very people we are trying to please... Resentment is a great indicator that you're giving up your power... or have given up your power... And guess what... choosing what is best for yourself is not necessarily "selfish"! Any time we forsake our own needs for the needs of another, we are damaging our relationship with that person... and ourselves...

And pleasing another is not the same as caring for another... But the truth is, we can't care for another if we don't care for ourselves first...

That's the synopsis of this chapter... wowsa... this is a great one for me... I've lived so much of my life trying to please others... wondering what others will think and trying to live up to their image of me... or what they think I should be... or what I think they think I should be... or something. Quite crazy really. So the litmus test for me is if I agree to do something or be something... is there resentment that develops... If there is, it's a pretty good indicator that I'm trying to please someone else and giving up my power. I'm not always sure how to stand in my power but stand in it I must!!

Long-term Fulfillment or Short-term Gratification

2. Will this choice bring me long-term fulfillment OR will it bring me short-term gratification?

Certainly a good question!! Not that there's anything wrong with having a hot chocolate every now and then. But if my long-term goal is to lose weight or eat healthier or whatever... then choosing a DQ Peanut Buster Parfait (yum!) isn't necessarily contributing to long-term fulfillment! Or if I want to travel to Spain in 2012 and do the Santiago pilgrimage... and I keep watching TV instead of jumping on the treadmill... well... short-term gratification definitely is winning out. So that is the question to ask... She also makes a distinction between instant gratification and instantaneous gratification... Really, is there any instant gratification, where it's gratifying and it lasts? Or is it all instantaneous, happens in the moment and when the taste of it wears off, there is guilt and bad feelings and beating oneself up??

Sigh... a good question to ask during Cheezie cravings... or ice cream cravings... And sure, I might know that what the good choice is... and yet I still have to choose it. It really does come back to those unspoken committments... am I really committed to a healthy body and lifestyle... or not!!

The Future or the Past?

1. Will this choice propel me toward an inspiring future OR will it keep me stuck in the past?

Yeah, going to take a look at the 10 Right Questions by Debbie Ford... Just reading this little chapter now and something she just wrote struck me... We are never standing still, we are never stagnating... we are always moving in either of two directions... towards the past or towards the future. Even choosing to do nothing is a choice...Fear keeps us moving into the Past, afraid of what the future might hold. The future holds our desires, our visions, our imaginings... everything that inspires us and moves and calls us... We might think that it is the big choices that make a differerence and that small choices don't make a difference... but 100 small choices in the wrong direction can add up quickly... the cost of not returning a phone call or paying our bills late or of eating one bag of cheezies and drinking one Coke... What does it sound like?? "I'll start tomorrow. It's too hard. It's not important. It really doesn't matter. I can't change. Things are OK they way they are. What if it doesn't work out??" Bullshit.

I have a gift for writing... I love to write... I have a vision of me as a writer with many books published.... Every day as I sit here and debate what to do... whether I should write or whether I should do something else... So the question is... will I choose the future or will I choose the past. I'll know because when I choose the future, I am energized, inspired, filled with passion and excitement... like when I am writing these blogs! And when I choose the past, I am fearful, confused, despondent, lacking direction, unsure and unsafe... I have the choice... I am the only one who can choose... As a friend once said "choose life"!!!

The Right Questions

Ah yes... I didn't share the Right Questions yesterday from Debbie Ford's book (The Right Questions)... haven't actually read that part of the book yet... But supposedly asking yourself these questions when faced with a choice will dodge the excuse and rationalization bullet and make it clear which action will ultimately move your forward... Would be interesting to try this for a month or so...

1. Will this choice propel me toward an inspiring future OR will it keep me stuck in the past?
2. Will this choice bring me long-term fulfillment OR will it bring me short-term gratification?
3. Am I standing in my power OR am I trying to please another?
4. Am I looking for what's right OR am I looking for what's wrong?
5. Will this choice add to my life force OR will it rob me of my energy?
6. Will I use this situation as a catalyst to grow and evolve OR will I use it to beat myself up?
7. Does this choice empower me OR does it disempower me?
8. Is this an act of self-love OR is it an act of self-sabotage?
9. Is this an act of faith OR Is it an act of fear?
10. Am I choosing from my divinity OR am I choosing from my humanity?

Supposedly these questions bypass the intellect and the emotions and if you ask yourself these questions, you will know the choice that will bring you life and the choice that will dim your flame...

Obviously, you're not going to ask all of these questions in a split second, but... even one or two will provide the results... Are these Cheezies going to bring me long-term fulfillment or short-term gratification?? Sigh... we know the answer to that! The question then is... am I person who is committed to living in the light, to feeding my flame, OR am I person committed to dimming my flame... Who am I really?? Who do I want to be?? Do I have a vision of where my life is going, or am I operating on auto-pilot??? She has a whole chapter on waking up from autopilot.... Yup, shift out of autopilot and zombie zone and living in a rut into something else, something that calls me to make choices that propel me out of the rut and into creating life rather than surviving life...

Great book!! And only $18.99 at Chapters!!

Book Junkie

Yup... another trip to Chapters this morning!!  They really do have the perfect combination... a Starbucks and a bookstore together and you can bring the one into the other... I can bring a book to the coffee table or a hot chocolate to the book shelves. Really quite a brilliant idea. Anyhow, I still had one of those gift cards in my wallet so had to (yes, had to!!) buy another $50 worth of books in order to save $10... (could have been more, but wasn't)... Bought just 3 books... pretty good when you think about it!

One of them is called The Right Questions by Debbie Ford... I'm already on page 60. The basic premise is this... whenever you come to a choice moment in life, and all of life's moments have them, there are 10 essential questions you can ask yourself that will support you in choosing empowerment over disempowerment... Absolutely fascinating!!!  Plus she has a whole chapter called "Exposing your Underlying Committments"... Anyone who has taken the RTS seminar series can relate to this!!!

She says that each of us has a flame burning within us, call it our life flame and the choices we make in life either dim the flame or feed the flame (sounds rather like the two wolves... for those of you who have heard that one)... And it is our choice as to whether we will do the one or the others... She lists choices that dim and choices that feed our flame:

Choices that Dim Your Light:

• Being around people who criticize you and can't see your magnificence
• "Should's"
• "Have to's"
• Perceived obligations
• Trying to be nice
• Trying to get others' approval
• Withholding communication
• Lying to yourself
• Gossiping
• Being Late
• Not caring about other people's feelings
• Comparing yourself to others
• Judging yourself
• Judging others
• Not taking the time to enjoy what you have
• Looking to others to make you happy
• Living in fear
• Withholding success from yourself
• Thinking that others are better than you
• Giving away your power
• Ignoring your deepest desires
• Overspending
• Overeating
• Overindulging
• Wasting your time
• Deflecting compliments
• Trying to be someone you are not
• Not setting strong boundaries
• Not having enough alone time
• Withholding love from your family
• Withholding acknowledgement from yourself
• Overexhausting yourself
• Ignoring your inner voice

Do you want the other choices now... or tomorrow??? OK... now it is!

Choices that Make Your Fire Roar!

• Having empathy for others
• Taking time for yourself
• Spending time with those you love
• Noticing what you have done well
• Resting
• Having fun
• Playing
• Exercising
• Eating well
• Spending your money wisely
• Planning for the future
• Being with people who inspire you
• Taking time to nurture yourself
• Doing what's in the best interest of you and your community
• Appreciating yourself
• Being honest with yourself and others
• Honouring your word
• Paying your bills on time
• Being compassionate
• Being intimate with those you love
• Making love
• Doing charity work
• Telling others how much they mean to you
• Doing what you love
• Going after your dreams
• Making choices consistent with where you want to go
• Dancing
• Forgiving
• Taking responsibility
• Looking for what's good
• Looking for what's right
• Doing a job well
• Being present for your children
• Caring for your partner
• Listening to others from your heart
• Receiving others' love
• Empowering those around you
• Allowing others to contribute to you
• Creating a powerful support system
• Speaking your truth
• Saying no

There you go... do an inventory and see where your fire's at!

Bible Blog 2

Well... it's a go... I'm on Day 3 and today I just posted a thing on my Facebook about the Bible Blog... so we'll see who pops up... I also sent an email to everybody under the sun... PG people, Newman people, RTS people, from BC to Manitoba and all the way to Germany as well (a cousin)... So, we'll see what sort of response I get... ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyhow... I've committed myself now... no going back... I've got a bunch of people who now know about this, so there is a high degree of intentionality for me to keep it going!

Wish me luck!!! I'm going to read some more pages now and post-date for a couple of days.... eek!

Hostessing

Growing up, our family really never entertained a lot, nor went out a lot. My Dad wasn't big into having people over, and my parents really didn't have a lot of friends that we would go out and visit. So... we didn't have a busy social calendar at Christmas time. Having no extended family in Canada, also meant we were pretty much on our own for the holidays.

As well, my mother really didn't enjoy cooking all that much. She says it's not a lot of fun because people don't enjoy what you cook and then it's a stress to try and have everything ready at the same time. Somewhere along the line, I picked up that thinking and her story became my story... entertaining is not fun! So... this year, we've already had two couples over for dinner, one pair on Wed and one pair last night. And it turns out, due to circumstances beyond our control, that I am the stay-at-home person at the moment, so you guessed it... I get to do the cooking for this entertaining. But... the funny thing is... I'm actually enjoying it. It isn't that much of a stress and so what if the people on Wednesday were 1/2 hour late... the chicken survived in the oven for a bit longer, the sushi appetizer (hand-made) was fine... And it all ended up being delicious... Even the BC wild-blueberry tarts for dessert were yummy!!! Of course, they are always yummy!

Last night was a bit more complex with baked brie for appetizer but a bit of googling and I was good to go... even made candied peacans for the topping... yeah... me... made candied pecans... go figure... And this pair were also 1/2 hour later than we were thinking they would be but 1/2 hour earlier than they thought dinner was at... But the fact that we were cooking steaks on the BBQ was easy to adjust.... And again, another wonderful meal... Go figure!!! I could actually get to enjoy this... maybe...

Bible Blog

Well... I did it... decided to post the cover to cover Bible blog... ahhh!!!! It's called The Quantum Bible - Cover to Cover... or quantumbible.blogspot.com... And I'm already in Chapter 10 of Genesis... so, motoring right along... already 0.55% of the bible read... Which doesn't look too bad... Anyhow I've committed to this and actually let blogger/blogspot post it on their lists and let it be found my search engines... so we'll see what comes of it... I certainly do set myself some projects to accomplish. For me though, it's like a completion, something that's been hanging around my space for 30 years or so and it's time to complete it. And who knows what will come out of those 365+ postings!!! I'm doing OK here in Genesis... be interesting to see what comes in Leviticus or Numbers... just keep reading!

Right now, reading the Divine Matrix by Geoff Braden and finding it a fascinating read... all sorts of fertile ideas cropping up... And that's the blog for this morning!

Gabriel Method

Did you know that your body has a mind of its own??? That it reacts to the things in your life? That it goes into fight or flight when you are faced with stress or fear or other triggers?? The thing nowadays is that we don't always have the chance to fight or flight, at least not physically, but our body just reads the stress and responds accordingly... For some of us, it responds to stress by deciding that the best way to handle that is to slim right down so that we can be as speedy as possible in the flight mode... It decides that that best way to keep us "safe" is for us to be slim and trim. So no matter what we eat, we don't really gain any weight. For others of us... our body decides that the best way for us to be "safe" is to put on weight, either because that will help us be better fighters (nobody picks a fight with the big person!)... or because our body senses that we are in famine mode... Nowadays, we don't always have a shortage of food (unless we are dieting), but we do experience lack in other areas, lack of love, lack of time, lack of... You name it... And our body doesn't distinguish between the stress of food famine or time famine... it just understands famine and starts packing on the weight...

Make sense??? It's the premise of a new weight loss method called the Gabriel Method by Jon Gabriel... He says that if your body wants to be fat, nothing you can do will make any difference... at least not in reducing your food consumption (i.e. dietting) or increasing your exercise. But if you can convince your body that it is safe and it is safer to be slimmer... the weight just falls off... He was 440 lbs and in a few years went down to under 200 lbs... without dietting or excessive exercising... So... what do you think?? I bought the book, read the book and it makes sense to me. He says there are things like emotional obesity and mental obesity, emotional and mental factors that contribute to our weight gain... The trick is to get our body on our side...

Cover to Cover Bible

Now... if reading the Encyclopedia Brittanica is not up my alley, how about reading the bible from cover to cover... that might be interesting. I remember trying to do that in High School. I had a blue copy of The Way version of the Bible, and it had a reading list where you could tick off the chapters/books as you read them... Would be kind of interesting to try it... I remember that I started that and got totally stuck and bogged down in Leviticus and Numbers... boring as heck... Wonder what I would find if I were to read it. Because the truth is, we really are sporadic when it comes to bible reading. We read some passages over and over again, either in Church, or because they are our favourites. Other passages we never read... ever... like the genealogies in Numbers... So, there is sort of a buffet approach to the Bible in our theology, read the passages that make sense and are readable and fit our notion of God and our theology. The rest we just sort of ignore... Pick and choose really... Perhaps that would be something to write about... Another book idea... How many books are there in the Bible... 70? 72?? Wikianswers says 73 - 39 in the OT, 7 in the Deuterocanonical OT, 28 in the NT... So... call it a chapter a book and we are at 73 chapters in a new book... What would it say?? Don't know... Overall summary and my take on it??? What do you guys think...

Another Chapter in the Chapters Saga

Yes... I went back to Chapters today and used my gift cards two more times (two more batches of over $50)... I have to admit I love the ambience in Chapters... any bookstore really, but Chapters has the added bonus of having a Starbucks. Nothing better than sipping a hot chocolate (with whipped cream and chocolate syrup) and having a stack of potential book buys stacked next to me... There is something deliciously decadent in being able to do that. I found a few more books... surprise!! Five of them in total and only 1 of them is a gift... at this point. They could all become gifts at some point. One of them is a non-fiction about a guy who decided to read the entire Encylopedia Brittanica (14 volumes - 65,000 articles, 33,000 pages) from cover to cover... He spent $1400 on the 2002 set and then started reading... Took him 2 weeks to get through the letter A... That was the book I read while I drank my hot chocolate... sounds interesting!! I can't imagine trying to read all that tiny print and all those paper thin pages!!! Mind you, I do read a lot... but that... nope, not my alley...

Chapters

Chapters is a bad store... very bad... I was in there a week ago and they were handing out gift cards. Buy over $50, swipe the gift card and you could get $5, $10, $20, $50 or $500 off your purchase (or as future purchases). So, I went wild and bought 2 batches over $50... And then the kicker is, if you come back after 24 hours and up until Dec 24 and spend another $50, you get another chance to win more money... Sigh... books and winning money, not a good combination for me... So, I spend quite a bit, mind you, I can justify it by saying that some of those were Christmas presents... Not the Divine Matrix that I am reading right now... but still!! Books are always a good thing I figure... the gift that keeps on giving. I have to admit this year, for Christmas, I recycled some of the books I've read and passed them along as Christmas presents... Sounds like a good idea to me... Could start a gift book... buy it, write in the cover when it was bought, then write in the cover who it was given to and when, and then encourage the next person to do that... could start a whole new trend!!!

Back in Time

Well, it's not true that you can't go back in time... at least not on a blog!! I've missed a couple of days here, so am writing this on Tuesday and posting it a couple of days ago... Time travel does exist!!! Ah well... I am reading a book right now called the Divine Matrix. Very fascinating. I'm only in Chapter 1, but the premise is that there is an underlying matrix that serves as a container for all that exists, and that we are part of that matrix. We are the canvas, the artwork, the painter and the brush... go figure... It does make sense to me in a weird sort of way... a very open-concept theology is required to get it to fit though! One thing he does say is that all time exists right now, so that everything that has happened in the past and in the future is happening right now... Some funky science ideas out there... and how do we bring that together with out concept of God and our concept of reality??

Arrival

Well, my blog posting of yesterday was very appropriate. Our flight out of PG was delayed about 45 - 60 minutes... There was a delay in it arriving, and then there was the de-icing which delayed us further. I had a 90 minute layover in Vancouver before my Calgary flight, but the Winnipeg trio only had a 45 minute layover before their flight to Winnipeg. We did spend some enjoyable time in the PG airport having a drink and chatting about the previous week. In hindsight, we should have had something to eat rather than something to drink!! By the time we arrived in Vancouver at Gate B16, we were edging up to my flight (10 minutes to spare) and were a good 25 minutes late for the Winnipeg flight... My flight was at Gate A4, the Winnipeg one at Gate A5, so we hoofed it! Alas, we were too late for their flight!! And my flight was delayed another 30 minutes, so I was actually OK!! Westjet gave each of the trio a hotel room, dinner and breakfast vouchers and space on the 9:15 am flight the next morning... My adventure however was not over... We boarded at 7:30 pm and then had to wait a bit beyond our departure time for extra luggage and people. We then had to... yes... de-ice!!! In Vancouver of all places!!! So, by the time we left Vancouver it was more like 9 pm... ah well... I arrived in Calgary around 11 pm, got my luggage, caught the Park & Jet shuttle... and then had the fun of digging out my truck from the snow dumps of the previous week. I was concerned about the battery and the cold temperatures, but little truck started with no problems... So... made it home at 11:50 pm... Tired and pooped!!! But glad to be home and in my bed!!

Embarkation

Today, our workshop concludes and I am heading home - PG to Vancouver to Calgary... There is snow forecast for Vancouver, a snowstorm in Ottawa, cold and snow in Calgary.... and we'll see how the flights go. A friend went home a few days ago and was supposed to arrive at 10 pm and ended up getting home at 2 am... So for me, today is all about patience, finding a good book and enjoying the time... whatever might come!! I do shudder a bit to think of what my truck may look like in long-term parking at the Calgary Airport - they've had snow all week and... well... it could look like a snow drifted igloo! But... I'll cross that bridge when I come to it...

Vulcan Philosophy - Part 2

The second statement of Vulcan philosophy that has always stuck with me is this: "The spear in the other's heart is the spear in your own. You are He/She." Whatever I do to another I am doing to myself. We are one. Whatever happens to another is happening to myself. We are One. It makes so much sense to me, ties in with all that I know and belief. And somehow it resonates more for me than the Christian belief of "we are the body of Christ". This notion that the spear in the other's heart is the spear in my own touches me to the core... And challenges me to live my life in a whole new light... out of a whole new experience... It challenges all of us!

Vulcan Philosophy Part 1

I never watched Star Trek growing up as a kid... I was too young when it was on originally in the late 1960s. Eventually, in 1982/83, I watched Star Trek 2: the Wrath of Khan (primarily because I was a fan of Ricardo Montalban from Fantasy Island!)... and I was hooked. I became a Star Trek addict, watching re-runs of the original series, tracking down novels and books and generally getting a serious dose of Star Trek. Along the way, I picked up an interesting mixture of worldview mixed with philosophy.

Star Trek taught me many things... one of which is that there are stranger things out there than we can imagine! And some of those things have become real in our lifetimes... phasers--tasers... communicators--cell phones & bluetooth headsets! To name just a few... There was an openness in Star Trek that drew me in, an inclusiveness of all differences.

It was voiced most strongly in one of the primary Vulcan philosophies: IDIC. This stands for Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations... An acceptance of all sorts of people, species, races... in all of their diversity and in all of their combinations. It always struck me that this sort of a philosophy was way more wide open than any of the "human" ones I had come across (granted - Star Trek was created by a human... but how many countries, religions proclaim that sort of an inclusivity??)... That philosophy has shaped me, has shaped my thinking, shaped my theology, shaped my way of viewing the world... I am richer for it!

The Wall

Today I was talking with a bishop and we were discussing the wall that Israel is building around/through/in Palesine. I was sharing how strongly it reminds me of the Berlin Wall, and of the ghettos that the Nazis created for the Jews. This bishop shared two things that he had heard from two different rabbis: One said that Judaism did not need the State of Israel in order to thrive. The other said that Judaism absolutely needed the State of Israel to survive... Two rabbis, two diametrically opposed points of view. The bishop also shared how most people who go to Israel/Palestine on social justice trips come back strongly pro-Palestinian... And pro-Palestinian does NOT mean anti-Semite... although that is how it is often  portrayed...

Wherever walls go up, whether they are physical, emotional, spiritual, racial, etc... we are cutting ourselves off from another aspect of ourselves... hurting ourselves.... But we continue to do it... When will we learn that walls solve nothing... and compound everything...

Cold!!!

I was all set to leave Calgary a few days ago and was only going to bring a fleecy jacket... luckily, someone convinced me that it could actually be cold here in PG! So, I brought a duffle coat, gloves and  scarf... Good thing, it was -23 C last night!!! I got a toque at Walmart and I think I am set. I have resisted getting long johns... so far so good. This morning I walked down to Starbucks and met a friend for hot chocolate and coffee... My plan for this week (leading a workshop here in PG)... is to walk down to Starbucks every day, getting there at 6 am and sipping a hot chocolate while reading a book. My plan is to have some time for myself and to spend some time regenerating! I can easily get stuck into the trap that taking time for myself is... a waste of time... I am trying to reconnect with the idea that taking time for myself is valuable and necessary... absolutely vital in fact!!

Conversations

I find myself more and more aware of my conversation... with myself. How hard I can be on myself... how negative and how much in a conversation of no possibilities. Whether about myself or about others. I am becoming slightly more clear that my conversation, the words that I speak, whether inside or aloud are creating my reality. My words have the power to shape the things that I encounter. If I expect to see "something"... then that is exactly what I will see. That is exactly what I will experience.

So, for me... it is always to be aware of my conversation, to be aware of what I am creating into my future, into my present, into my reality!

Making the Impossible... Possible!

I'm taking a training right now, for this weekend and reliving a the seminar series. Part of it is to come up with a project that seems impossible or beyond reach! A couple of years ago, my project was to write a book about my grandfather. That project is still in the works... and I have written another book, Unsung Heroines of the Bible.

But it got me thinking... what are some dreams/visions of mine that I have held but never fulfilled. So, I wrote some down!!

Learn Cross-Country Skiing - always wanted to... never have...
Canoe the Bowron Lakes - scarey!!
Backpacking trip - like real backpacking, with everything in a backpack... maybe up to Berg Lake in behind Mount Robson - don't know anything about backpacking... can I do it?

Those are just a few of them... When I think of them, I get excited and inspired, but then all the reasons why they won't happen or won't work come up... So, it is for me to step through that "stuff" and begin to create the project! Choose one and make it happen!!! I am excited and inspired to leap into something I didn't really imagine could be... other than just a pipe-fantasy... I am intentional about this!!

Musical Musings

I love music... Love writing to music, love listening to music. But... my tape deck in my truck (yes a tape deck!) isn't working... So, on road trips, I put 6 D cell batteries into an old ghetto blaster and use that for music. When I'm travelling to workshops, I sometimes take along my Walkman (tapes again!), but it's bulky and tapes are bulky and it is limiting. I never did move up to a CD Walkman... And now they are obsolete as well!

So, today I bit the bullet and went into one of those big-box electronic stores and bought an mp3 player - an iPod Nano! 16 GB of memory, enough for 4000 songs... That's about... 80 records or cds worth, so I figure that will do me. I could have gone for the iPod Classic which is 160 GB and room for 40,000 songs, but that seems a little excessive! As it is, this little nano is the size of... a couple of sticks of gum (the juicy fruit kind) and it can hold the equivalent of 80 records/cds!!! Amazing... I bought one in a fetching shade of violet/purple... Now, though, I learn that there are all sorts of accessories available. A case protector to make sure it doesn't get hurt... I didn't get those because there were too many options, but did buy thin screen film to protect the display screen. There are also arm band straps so I can strap the little thing onto my arm as I ride my bike or sweat away on the treadmill... I could buy small speakers to take with me... Could buy a docking station that allows me to charge it away from a computer (otherwise it charges when it's plugged into a computer).... I also need to download and install iTunes on my computer, so all my .wma files can be translated into mp3 files... I am excited though!!! I can have music on my trips... or I can put photos on there... or videos... or audio books... Wow... So many possibilities!!!

Scents and Smells

Today we went out and paid a ridiculous price for a Christmas tree - $120!!!! I have always gotten one from the bush, so this idea of paying that much for a tree is just outrageous! But... not much choice in the big city... unless we go for a fake tree but... no fun there!

I had this 9 ft tree stuffed in my 4-runner and wow... it smelled like Christmas in there. It's a balsam tree, the tree we usually got when I was growing up, and so, for me, the smell of balsam is the smell of Christmas. It's amazing how scents and smells can bring us right back to an experience... the smell of a fir tree and a crackling fire... with a few mandarin oranges... totally Christmas!

Having had artifiical trees for the last 4 years, I am looking forward to the smell of a real tree... It speaks more clearly of the whole Christmas atmosphere... Now, if I baked some cookies as well, that would complete the whole thing!!! Dare I give it a whirl??? I could bake the easiest ones... spritzgeback... and use the Christmas moulds... Maybe... we'll see how it goes!!! It does create a whole Christmas sense... I haven't baked cookies since I left my mother's house so... perhaps it is time to step out and enter the tradition!!!

Decluttering

Have you noticed how much stuff we've accumulated??? We are a people who set a lot of store on stuff, the things that we own, the things that we acquire, the things that are given to us. All of it, after a while, begins to weigh us down. I've been watching some of those house-buying shows on HGTV and I always find it fascinating how the guys want a two or three car garage for... stuff!! Not even for cars, just for all their stuff, bikes, surfboards, tools, workbenches, etc. etc. There's no room for a car at all! It's like the garage has become a massive storage locker.

I have to admit, I have a bit of a fascination with decluttering... For I too am a packrat, raised by a couple of packrats. But... I do enjoy keeping things organized! Mind you, that just makes me a disorganized packrat!! At the same time, I am shocked to watch the Hoarders show on A&E... Clearly, some people are more attached to their stuff than others, attached to the point that they will face eviction and damage to their relationships rather than give up their stuff... most of which is "junk".

So, every once in a while, I go through a bit of a decluttering purge and get rid of the stuff that I've been schlepping around for the last 20 years or 10 years or 5 years. Yes, at one point I thought, "it might be valuable someday!!" or "it might have value as a collector's item" or ... the best one of all "I might need it someday!". Truly... it really isn't worth the energy and effort it takes to haul it around, store it, move around it, etc. And I really haven't missed the stuff. But I am still a packrat at heart... always in development with decluttering!

Relearning Time

No, I don't need to relearn how to tell time... What I need to relearn is how to use time! Once again today, I felt as if there wasn't enough time for everything that I needed to get done. At one point, I was awaiting feedback via phone/email from a couple of people, and felt that I needed to sit by the computer for it to arrive. I got really cranky that I couldn't go out and do the things I had planned to do. In essence, I was creating that sense of no time... by stubbornly refusing to be a bit more flexible!

That's part of my personality type... wanting things to be done and complete now! Like, now!!! And if I have to wait for things to come together, I get a little upset. The learning for me is this... make my own time... relearn how to take back the time! I feel as if I have no control, and really, I am the only one who has control. Quite a nasty little illussion I can create in my life! So... time is my friend... I just need to be a bit more flexible in using it!