Wonder Women - Debora L. Spar - Part 4

Wonder Women - Debora L. Spar

2017 Reading Challenge - Day 77

  March 18, 2017 

Book 24 - Wonder Women - Sex, Power, and the Quest for Perfection
by Debora L. Spar (2013)
 Part 4 - pages 149-202
Reading Time - 60 minutes

Well... no surprise... but with women entering the workforce in droves, all we really got was more work. Working outside the home and then coming home and doing all the work that needed to be done there as well. Married women generally do 17 hours of housework while married men do 7 hours. The thing is... we are also aiming for perfection in our housework. Thanks Martha Stewart. We're also aiming for perfection in our child raising. Making sure that the kids have all the activities that they supposedly need to become well-educated and successful.

The author argues that we can't go back to the home and the hearth but... the quest for perfection must end. Feminism wasn't supposed to make us feel guilty. And we need to rediscover the political and communal aspects of feminism. which makes total sense.

I know for myself, I struggle with being the perfect daughter... caring for my father in a way that ensures he has everything that he needs. I get that I have an impossibly high standard for myself... one that has been put out there by society. Home Support isn't perfect... we could do a better job... but that puts a lot of pressure on us. Pressure to take care of the aging parent perfectly. I don't want that high standard.

In the second chapter of this section, the author notes that women are, in fact, different than men. We are more relational... more interested in consensus, intimacy and closeness. Men, on the other hand, are more interested in status. Not good or bad... just how we behave. We operate differently. But so many women enter the workforce, which is often male-dominated and find that they don't fit in there. Some do... but mostly because they succeed by behaving like men. Women drop out of careers before they get to the top... unless, of course, they are lower income women who don't have a choice. Husbands generally earn more than women so when the kids come along... and the woman finds her job less fulfilling... she's the one who stays at home.

I can't really speak to these issues from the perspective of most women... never having had a kid or a male partner. But I also get that there comes a point where the care of the home and the aging parents becomes an issue. Something needs to give... someone needs to devote the time and it will usually be the person who has the flexibility to work from home... to work part time... and who often earns less as a result. It just makes sense to keep the higher wage earner in the workforce. And what happens to the one who stays at home... good questions... to which I haven't yet found answers.