Like Riding a Bicycle?

There's an old saying - "it's like riding a bicycle". Once you've learned how to ride a bike, you never forget and no matter how much time goes by, you can pick it up again very quickly. Well... I'm not so sure about the applicability of that maxim to other things. Like skating. On ice.

We have a community skating rink, an outdoor one. Actually two outdoor rinks. The one has hockey nets and boards with chain link "glass". Next to it, is a patch of ice, the same size, but without any boards. I've been thinking for a while that I could get a pair of skates and get some exercise that way. Well, the other day I went and bought a pair of skates and the next morning I drove to the rink, strapped on the skates and toddled my way to the ice sheet.

Did I mention that it's been 30 years since I strapped on a pair of skates? Thirty years is an awfully long time in the world of skating. And it's not quite like riding a bicycle! I windmilled my arms a fair bit and did very gentle corners. I didn't fall down. But some little kids were skating circles around me. I skated for about 20 minutes before my shins told me that enough-was-enough! I didn't know that there were so many muscles in the shins. All of them are now complaining at me. Sigh... I'll be going skating again tomorrow and my hope is that it's going to get easier and my "skating-legs" will come back. It'd be nice to be able to skate around corners rather than just gliding on wobbly legs.

Sometimes, it's good to tackle something, even if we're not much good at it. It might take a bit of practice, like meditation... but as they say, practice makes perfect. So we'll see what happens as I put this into practice!

A Wedding

A few days ago we went to the wedding of a couple of friends of ours. It was held in an art gallery downtown, a lovely setting. It was attended by about 80 friends and family of the couple. They have been together for about 15 years and finally decided to get married. The ceremony was presided over by a woman reverend and touched many in the group. She personalized it for the couple and stayed away from the old rote formulaic responses that are supposed to fit everyone. At the end... she said "I now pronounce you... legally married"! I wondered how she was going to handle that last line - "I now pronounce you man and wife". Not quite appropriate when it is two women getting married. So very well done.

It was also my first gay/lesbian wedding. We knew several of the guest couples and had a great time chatting with like-minded folk. It is a testament to this great country of ours that our friends were able to legalize their bond - to acknowledge it publicly before friends and family and the whole world. No more hiding. No more pretending. It made me want to get married!

In the Backpack - Meditation

Everything I've been reading says that if there is one thing to do in life it is this... meditate. That's it. For 30 seconds here and there, for 30 minutes, for 3 hours. The time doesn't really matter - what matters is that we do it. But meditation has a bad rap reputation... it's hard... it takes too long... it doesn't work for me... I can't do it... my mind keeps wandering... etc. etc.

I wonder if, as children, we said the same thing when we starrted to learn to crawl or walk or ride a bike... or skate or swim or read... or any of those things? Meditation is like those things... it takes practice. And there are many techniques. But somehow it still manages to slip off of my radar screen very quickly.

Part of the issue is that we really don't have a strong tradition of meditation in the Catholic Church. Yes, I know... I've heard of Centering Prayer and John Main and the Christian Mystics. And yet... how much of that is present in the run-of-the-mill parish? It wasn't around when I was growing up... or later even. Our focus is on the Mass, first and foremost. The Mass is the most important thing. But is it... really? We spend 1 hour a week at Mass. What do we do the rest of the time? How can we connect with the divine the rest of the time. Because if we're thinking 1 hour of Mass a week is going to do it... or even throw weekday Mass in for good measure... it ain't gonna cut it. Not in my experience.

And so... meditation... a way to still the mind... a way to slip into the gap between thoughts and words and breaths. A way to touch the silence that lives within each one of us. A way to just Be. But how does one do it? Well.... for Christmas, my partner gave me a subscription to a meditation series from the Chopra Centre. I've meditated with it several times now... and it is good. All you have to do is get comfortable and close your eyes and follow the instructions and let them worry about the length and the timing and that sort of stuff. It's simple... and it works.

A definite asset in my backpack.

Poor Abandoned Blog

Wow... time flies when you're not blogging! Skip a day here or a day there, and all of a sudden a month goes by with nothing. Which is not my intention, but somehow other things are always more important. Something is always more important than writing... which seems like madness... as writing is very important!

I could also convince myself easily that I have nothing to write about. Which isn't true either, but it's funny the lies that we tell ourselves and then believe. A New Year is fast approaching and it might be the time to take on another blogging project. It seemed like when I was reading and blogging the bible in a year, that this blog also managed to tag along for the ride. So perhaps that is the key. Get a project that requires me to write every day and see what comes.

I have been toying with the idea of reading the Gospels in a year. Which is very doable... maybe too doable. I'm not sure how many pages there are in the Gospels, but I don't think it's a lot. Which might mean I end up reading only a paragraph a day... which might not be a bad thing. It would be a chance to take a look at the Gospels in more detail, as I think I skimmed them a bit during the Bible Blog. Reading 3.5 pages of the Bible in a day means you get through Mark in about 4 or 5 days. Not really enough time to sink one's teeth into it.

In the Backpack - Community

I think community is very important. Especially regarding faith and worship. If there is one thing that I miss from Church, it is the sense of community. But even there... people would come and go at Mass... and you wouldn't see them again all week. But sometimes, you'd connect and make friends with people. So, in that regard, Church is a great way to make connections with like-minded people and develop friendships, particularly if you get involved in the Church.

So, one of the things that is important for me to develop as I embark on this journey, is a community of like-minded individuals. It's important to have people to bounce ideas off of... to share ideas and insights... And I am developing that... so that is something that I need to continue to develop. You never know where you might meet people who share a similar spirituality. It's just a matter of striking up conversations.

In the Backpack - Baptism

I was baptized as a baby. I think I was probably 2 weeks old and obviously didn't have much say in the matter. But it's not something that I would reverse. It's part of what has made me into the person that I am today, so why would I reverse or alter that? What is baptism for me... immersion into the life, death and resurrection of Christ... immersion into the life of the divine. It is our uniquely Christian way of bringing a child into the fold of Christ. There are other ways of immersing oneself into the life of the divine... but for Christians... baptism is it.

I know that some people want to erase their baptism, seeing it as a way of removing themselves from the Church. It doesn't work that way. And for me, baptism isn't so much related to the "church" community, as it is to the divine community. That's not something that I want to leave...

One thing that has perplexed me around baptism is the giving of the baptismal candle. I know what it signifies... I know why we give it but... what happens to the candle afterwards? It is lit at the baptism, handed to the parents or godparents and they are enjoined to keep the light of Christ burning in the life of the child. But then, it is blown out. Kind of a mixed up symbolism. "here's a candle... keep it burning... now blow it out".

My baptismal candle had "1966" on it... along with a red cross. It has traveled with me in my trunk for the last few decades. I wondered about it... what does one do with a baptismal candle? Well, I burned mine. I lit it and let it burn down. That was a couple of weeks ago. The world didn't end. I didn't die. Lightening didn't strike. The light is still burning bright in my soul... and I feel lighter.

In the Backpack - Desire to Make a Difference

I want to make a difference in the world. I think that's true for all people. We want our lives to matter. We want to leave a legacy behind. I suppose the real question is... how can we do that? How can I do that? I think there are many ways of doing that. I think that there is a unique way for each and every one of us to make a difference.

When I was a kid, I played with a neighbour boy who lived two doors down. His name was Mikey and his parents were German as well. We played at my house, we played at his house, we played outside. Although his family was Lutheran, he attended the Catholic elementary school along with me. I remember that we used to play "church" in his living room. We would take turns playing the role of the priest. We would use a wine glass with grape juice and we would get some baking wafers and pretend that we were giving out communion. Kind of funny... him being a Lutheran... and me being a girl... neither one of us ever likely to be a Catholic priest. At that time, that was the career we wanted to imitate... that was how we wanted to make a difference.

Today, I think I can make a difference in many ways, my writing being a primary way. My way of being in life is another way... I think that each and every one of us can be Christ in the world. Each and every one of us can make a difference with people in our daily interactions. I just need to be open to the interactions and see how in this moment, in this place... I can make a difference and alter the world around me.

In the Backpack - Creation

I've known for a very long time, that I recharge my spiritual batteries out in creation. I need to get out into nature, the same way that I need to eat and breathe and drink lots of water. Being in nature reconnects me to myself and to the divine. More me not to go out into nature usually ends up with me getting very cranky... very upset... very impatient... very out of sorts.

I know this... and yet... I often let it slide. The same way that I can let my prayer life slide... or drinking enough water... or eating right... or exercising. Somehow, getting out into nature pales in comparison with all the other things in my life which always seem "more important". Truth be told... I do know that me getting out into nature is critically important for my well being.

I think that's why the idea of the Sabbath... or Sunday Rest... or going to Church on Sunday... is such a good thing. We need to take time each week to reconnect with ourselves and the divine... in one form or another. The Church tells people that they need to come to Church on Sunday - the Sunday obligation... and really, it is for our own good. Except... does it have to be going to Church on Sunday, or could it be something else?

I haven't been to Church for almost 3 years and the most shocking thing is this... I don't miss it. I feel no compulsion to go back. Friends who have done the same thing, express the same sentiment, which is surprising to all of us. We all thougth that we would miss it... and we don't. Mind you, we have all found other ways of connecting with the divine.

For myself, I've gotten into the habit this past summer of going into a large urban park on a bit of a hill, with lots of walking trails. It is prairie landscape and wide open to the sky and to the world. On top of the hill, I have no sense that you are in the city... and a very deep sense of peace. For the First Nations people, this hill was a sacred spot... and I felt the sacredness long before I knew about it's history for First Nations people. For me... this is my place to reconnect with the divine... to recharge my spiritual batteries... it is my place of worship.

Now... the one good thing with Church is this... it is still warm at -20 C!! I'm not sure how it will work this winter for me... but I am going to explore the idea of getting myself seriously bundled up and going off to my sacred hill at -20 C... we'll see how it goes!

In the Backpack - Prayer

Prayer, we hear a lot about it, but what is it really? What purpose does it have? Prayer is a way of connecting with God, with the divine - traditionally through prayers of praise, thanksgiving and petition. We know those fairly well in the Catholic Church. It's the prayers of "wow", "thanks" and "I need". We've perfected those styles of prayer in the Church. The Mass is full of those various forms of prayer. But there are other forms of prayer that aren't quite so well known... contemplation, meditation.

Sometimes, when we're praying, we can end up firmly entrenched in our heads. We're thinking about our prayer - we're thinking about what to be grateful for, we're thinking about what we need, we're thinking about whether or not we're doing it right. But in our thinking... we're not really praying. Prayer comes from the heart... and is born in the stillness and silence. In the Catholic Church, at least in my experience, we're not so good with stillness and silence. I sometimes think that's why the Latin Mass is gaining popularity among young people... they are craving something different. Praying words that you don't understand gets you out of your head and your thinking.

There is of course contemplation and meditation - two prayer forms rooted in our Christian tradition. But as anyone who has attempted them knows... stilling the mind is... well, quite a challenge! It takes practice... and most of us give up long before we achieve any proficiency in it. It's also not something that most parishes promote and teach. "Come and sing and listen and speak and pray and participate at Mass". When all we really want to do is just come and listen for that voice that says "be still and know that I am God".

So what to do... well, the thing I've learned is this... contemplation/meditation and silence are the key. God is present in the silence, as Moses discovered. God is present when our minds can calm down and be still. It is then, as we peer into the mirror of our soul that we see the divine reflected clearly, not distorted by the turbulence of our thoughts and worries and concerns. If we can learn to be still and listen... amazing things can happen.

There are also many ways of meditating... from sitting cross-legged on a yoga mat, to chanting a mantra (maranatha or the Rosary or... whatever), to listening to someone else give a guided meditation. But there are other ways too... walking meditation, singing meditation, cooking meditation, gardening meditation, painting meditation, writing meditation, photography meditation. Anything in which we become so connected to the activity that we forget ourselves and are just present to what is in front of us. In those moments, our minds take a back seat and we can be recipients of divine inspiration. For myself, I love to take my camera and go for a walk and just be present to what I see around me. The praise and thanksgiving come naturally then... often in wordless murmurings of the soul and the heart... often as a smile.

As humans, we come from the divine and we are headed back to the divine. Connecting with the divine, with God, through prayer, is what draws us up that mountain. It is what gives us our direction. It is what motivates us to continue the journey. Prayer is pretty much non-negotiable... when I forget to pray, through writing or walking or just being still... the rest of my day does not go smoothly. I should know the lesson by now.... but sometimes we just need to be reminded. How do you pray? What is prayer for you?

Heading out...

When I was studying theology, I spent 4 months at the school and 4 months back home, then 2 months at school and 2 months at home. There was a lot of driving involved and I had a lot of time to think as I watched the scenery flow by, driving from prairies to mountains and back again. An image came to me once, which has stuck with me ever since.

Union with the Divine is like a mountain, and we're headed for the top. There are many paths up this mountain, many different ways of reaching the top. The Church is one of those ways, and it is following a road up the mountain. The faithful are riding on this wagon called "The Church" being led by the hierarchy and the clergy. It's a slow, methodical trip and it is travelling a very well worn pathway. Stay on that wagon and you'll probably get there. But not everybody is welcome on that wagon... and people keep getting kicked off and left behind. Some people leave and find another road with another wagon. Other people just head off on their own, heading off into the lush forest, following a path that only they can see. Sometimes in pairs, sometimes in groups, sometimes on their own.

No matter what route you take, eventually every one gets there... nobody ever gets left behind... ever. And part of the adventure is in the journey itself, not just in arriving at the destination. Part of the adventure is in discovering what lies within the forest. Sure, there's a well-trodden road over there... but what sights are they missing as they stick to the tried and true?

For me, I really connect with the adventurer and the explorer. I connect with the idea of heading out and seeing what there is to see... of discovering what there is to discover. For the last 3 years, after I got off the wagon, I've been hanging around that well trodden path, waiting to see if the church would take a new path... but no... And so now, I want to head out and discover something else. I want to tread a path that is not well trodden. I want to uncover new things.

I take a backpack of supplies with me. I have a compass - love, mercy and compassion. I have the scriptures and all that they can bring. I have the Spirit. With those... I think I'm pretty well set. Sure I might take a wrong turn, or have to make a detour occassionally... but that's part of the adventure. I'm going for it.

The Edge...

What I've really been doing the last, oh... 3 years or so, is hovering around the edges of the Church. After the Pope made some very hurtful comments on December 23, 2008, I decided that I no longer wanted to be associated with a religion that view people like me as "pollutants" of humanity. So, I stopped going to Church... but I've been still circling around it. Still writing postings for my old parish newsletter. Still keeping up on the news. But now... I'm starting to realize that me hovering around the edges isn't all that healthy for me.

I'm not sure if I'm waiting for the Church to change. Or maybe I'm afraid to head off on my own. Not quite sure... Yet, right now, I get the sense that it's time to stop hovering around the edges and walk away. I am walking towards something new, towards life, and love, and compassion. I'm not sure what that will look like... but I suppose that is part of the adventure of life.

For me, it always comes back to this... what would Jesus be doing if he were here today? Who would he be hanging out with? Who would he be inviting to the table? Who would he be eating with. Somehow... I don't think he'd be hanging out with all the church people.... I think he'd be hanging out with the ones that aren't welcome in church. Oh, I know... the church says "all are welcome"... but there's always a caveat... "all are welcome... as long as you live a moral life". And somehow, that doesn't seem all that hospitable to me.

We've been well trained to believe that the church is the sole path to salvation... or Christianity is... whether we like to admit it or not. That is still a strong flavour of that out there. It's a dangrous place to be... outside the boundaries of the Church. But is it? What is out here? What can be discovered outside the boundaries of organized religion? I'm willing to go and take a look...

Cradle Catholic

Before I go on... let me give you a bit of my pedigree...

I come from a long line of Catholics. My parents came to Canada and when I was born I was baptized Catholic. I went to a Catholic elementary school. My mom took us to Church every Sunday, and we did extra devotions during Lent and Advent like the Stations of the Cross and the Rosary. We had an Advent Wreath at home. I celebrated all of the sacraments at the appropriate times.

When I went to UBC, I went to Church every Sunday, even if it was a 30 minute bus ride (one way). I got involved as a lector. When I moved off campus, I went to weekday Masses as well. I moved back to my home-town in the mid 1990s and was elected to Parish Council and took a lead on the Liturgy Committee. I was a lector. I attended the charismatic prayer group. I went to weekday Mass. I helped plan all the liturgical seasons and was heavily involved in the Triduum and Christmas celebrations.

I attended the Diocesan Lay Formation program, a 2 year program to educate the laity in the Catholic faith. It only whetted my appetite for more. In 2000, I studied in Edmonton for a Master of Divinity and four years later I became a Pastoral Associate in a parish in my home diocese. The Catholic Church was my life.

My Catholic pedigree is immaculate. I never strayed from the faith. In fact, I could never understand those people who only came at Christmas and Easter. I could not understand those people who left the Catholic Church to attend another denomination. I could not understand what made people stop going to Christianity entirely. I could not understand... until it happened to me.

Now I understand. I stand on the other side of the fence and I see it clearly. I walked away from a Church that I loved. I walked away because... we were no longer a match. I suppose that's the clearest way to put it. I still love scripture. I still love building bridges between scripture and our lives today. I still love the rich symbolism embodied in the Catholic faith. But there are far more things which... just don't fit anymore.

And so a new chapter begins...

A Hundred Footer

I was at a craft fair last weekend selling some of my photo cards and books with my ex-partner. We were chatting as it was a slow Sunday with a new snowfall coating the streets in ice. A friend of ours came in and we chatted for a while with her. After she left, my ex told me that this friend calls me "a hundred footer" when she talks about me.

I had no idea what a hundred footer was and neither did my ex... so today I googled it and looked it up. Well, this is the definition, and I have to laugh, because it is so totally appropriate.

"A lesbian who typfies the stereotype to such an extent you can spot her sexuality from a hundred feet away."

I might actually modify that to say that I'm a "200 footer" but... I accept it for what it is! I think I've been fooling myself that I blend in, and apparently that is not the case. So better to just lay it all out there and let the chips fall where they may.

I've been straddling the line trying to keep a foot in the Catholic Church while still being true to who I am. Unfortunately, events over the last 3.5 months have shown me that it is actually a vain hope. More on that later. I've let my blog languish here waiting for some resolution. It's time to stop waiting. The Church is not going to change this year, and I am not going to wait for it. The train has left the station. They can catch up with me when they are ready.

For myself, I am tired of being urged by the hierarchy to be "cautious" and "careful" about speaking about my orientation, or as the hierarchy likes to say "lifestyle". Enough. Time to move on.

Squishy Tires

It's been a while since I've posted here! Busy with other projects and getting another blog up and running. Also occupied with a variety of writing projects, but it's time to get back here.

I've been riding my bike pretty consistently over the summer and enjoying it quite a bit. Lately though, I was noticing that I seemed to be getting more out of shape! It was harder to pedal on the flats and a little hill made me huff and puff like mad... Yesterday, I noticed that my back tire seemed a little squishy. I went to the local gas station which still has free air.. and... well... both of my tires were pretty squishy! I put some air into them and the ride home seemed better. This morning was the real test though... and what a difference! I was zooming along and I actually felt fairly fit! Which just goes to show me... I need to pay attention to my tires and when they are starting to get flat. They need an injection of air every once in a while. I thought about it lots over the last couple of months... "I should get some air in my tires"... but I never did.

Which is a good metaphor for life. We go through life, tanked up and feeling pretty good. But over time, we start to loose our umph... and we get more and more tired and draggy and we wonder what the heck is going on. We skip our yoga... or our prayer time... we don't get out into nature. We don't read books... and we end up dragging our butts through life. At some level, we know that we should be tanking up on "air"... the spiritual kind... we need something to keep our spiritual tanks recharged. Be we don't... until finally we do... and then we notice a huge difference! Wow... I should do that more often! A good lesson for us... let's not let our spiritual tires get squishy...

Mind you... I've been meaning to oil my bike chain for months too... and that hasn't happened either... hmmmm..

Heretics

Wow, there are quite a few heretics out there, mostly from the Middles Ages. One of the more famous is Joan of Arc who was burned at the stake for heresy and sorcery. Another is Galileo who challenged the Church's notion that the sun revolved around the earth. He was imprisoned for life.

It's kind of funny actually, with Galileo. The Church made an apology about that in 1992. "Oops, we were wrong and you were right." With Joan of Arc, it only took 25 years from the date of her execution before she was retried and declared innocent. Kind of too late, but in 1920 she was canonized.

In 1992, Pope John Paul II apologized for a number of "church sins" including things like the Crusades and the Inquisition. Which is a nice gesture, but makes me wonder, why doesn't the Church just stop condemning and killing people, instead of apologizing after the fact?

Especially when it comes to things that really have nothing to do with faith. The sun around the earth thing was really an astronomical issue, not theological. The Church made it theological but... they really didn't have authority in astronomy. Today though, the Church forcefully wades into issues that are biological, psychological and sociological, convinced that it has some "truth" that is the "truth". But are those really theological issues? And if you don't agree with the church's "teaching" on issues like that, does that make one a heretic? Good question, eh?

Virgin birth of Jesus. Article of faith in the Catholic Church. Biological impossibility. Hmmm...

Homosexuality. "Intrinsically disordered" and "against the natural order" according to the Church. Genetic variation according to biology. Hmmm...

So, who wins? In the end, if we look at Galileo, science will win. Biology will win. Psychology will win. But in the meantime, how many will be declared heretics to satisfy the Church's blood-lust for "rightness? Good question...

Excommunication

What does it take to get excommunicated? Well, there are a variety of ways to achieve that if you're a priest or a bishop. But for regular folks like us... what are the ways?

Well, one of the major ones is to get an abortion or to help someone else get an abortion. I'm not sure if a charitable donation to Planned Parenthood or Unicef would count. Ignorance is always a loophole to escape excommunication. But if you know that those groups support abortion and/or contraception, well... it might work.

Another way is to be an apostate from the faith, a heretic or a schismatic. Quite a mouthful there...

An apostate from the faith is someone who renounces Christianity. So, if you were to become a Muslim or a Jew, or a Jehovah's Witness or anything else that isn't Christian... you'd be in line for excommunication.

A heretic is someone who doesn't believe what the Church believes and teaches. So if you had some issues with the doctrines of the Church, then you'd be considered a heretic. Maybe you don't believe in the Immaculate Conception of Mary, that would do it.

Schism is when someone fails to submit to the authority of the pope or church leaders. So, the pope says that women should not be ordained and women go ahead and get ordained by some renegade bishop. They would be schismatics.

Looking over that list... I'm thinking I know quite a few apostates from the faith, quiet a few heretics and quite a few schismatics. Of course, all of these excommunications are "automatic". The Church rarely does an official ceremonial excommunication but... it would be interesting for the Church to know all of the automatic "excommunicants" out there... I think.

Leaders of Religion

The news of the last day or two has two glariing articles.

1) Bishop Raymond Lahey of the Roman Catholic Church had 100s of child pornography images on his laptop and mobile device. Some of those pictures depicted torture. His web browser history revealed that the word "twink" had been searched - twink is a young hairless man, often used in the gay community.

2) Warren Jeffs of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints has been convicted of two counts of having sex with a minor.

There is something off here. The question that burns within me is "why"? Why did they do these things? Why? In the one case we have a celibate man charged with child pornography. In the other case, a married man charged with child sex. Is it a power thing? Why with children?

I wonder at Lahey. Is celibacy the issue? If he had a legitimate outlet for his sexuality, would it have grown in a healthy way, rather than in a twisted way? I don't know... but it bothers me.

I wonder how many other priests and bishops out there are hiding various sexual predilictions. Because make no mistake, the Church and its hierarchy are very, very, very good at hiding things. They hide things about themselves. They hide things about other members of the hierarchy. They hide things about others... They've been doing it for 100s of years, and they are experts at hiding, at covering tracks, at avoiding the obvious questions.

Which makes me wonder... what else are they hiding? As they condemn others... what are they hiding?

Eternal Life

About a year ago I bought a book by John Shelby Spong, radical Anglican bishop from the United States. I had read a couple of his other books over the last couple of years, including Sins of Scripture. While Spong is a thorn in the side of conservative and maintstream Anglican/Catholic churches... my sense is that he is a prophet ahead of his time. He sees something else that the majority of Christians don't see. If he had been around a couple of hundred years ago, he probably would have been labelled a heretic!

His latest book is titled Eternal Life: A New Vision. I thought it would be about heaven and hell, and all that good stuff. Which it is... but first he gets there in an interesting way. He suggests that the old vision of a supernatural God who is "out there" somewhere judging us as good or bad, is a vision that has run out of steam. Essentially, religion as we know it is dead. God is very much alive, but not in the way God has been portrayed in traditional religions. In fact, God is alive in you and in me. God is us and we are God.

Which is right in line with the direction I've been headed for the past few years. Amazing how books find you when you are ready. Each and every one of us has the divine spark within us... and it's amazing to look around and see how many other people have that same sense. A lot of those "New Age" writers - Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Neale Donald Walsch, Debbie Ford - they all point in the same direction. And now Spong is pointing there as well, but from a Christian persepctive. He actually goes back to the Christian mystics like Meister Eckhard and Teresa of Avila... they have the same sense...

So, ultimately, it all comes down to meditation and contemplation and being silent and still and connecting with the vastness within ourselves. Nothing "out there" is going to alter us... only everything that is "in here" which is infinite...

Smart Phone

Well, I've joined the 21st Century and bought an Android smartphone. I've gone from a simple little cell phone to something that could run the starship Enterprise. Quite the leap! And I'm loving it. I'm still getting familiar with all the things that it can do, other than playing Angry Birds.

I can sync it with my google email and google calendar google photos. Which means it syncs all of my contacts. I can add appointments into it. I can make notes of various sorts, text, photographs, audio, with Evernote. I can find the nearest Starbucks. I can get a weather report. I instantly have access google maps and google earth. And tonnes of other things besides that.

I'm thinking though, that it means that days of my little paper daytimer booklet are numbered. I can keep track of hours worked with Evernote or Google Calendar. I can store all my addresses in the Contacts list. The possibilities are endless.

I can even download and read ebooks from the local library... amazing....

Remiss

Well, I have started to slack off in my blog postings! Mind you, it is the summer and the warm days and outdoor activities mean that blogging is low down on my priority list. For some time now, I've been searching for a theme for this blog... I've been dabbling in a variety of things and looking for something that "feels right". I've read a variety of other blogs, and the most successful ones seem to be the ones that focus on one area or another. These last couple of years have been an experiment of sorts in feeling my way through different areas and seeing which one, if any, feel right. So far, I haven't really settled on one that works for me.

I think it needs to be true to who I am. I think it needs to be something that I am passionate about. I think it needs to be something that excites me and is fun as well. Now there are several contenders for sure... decluttering, genealogy, photography, scripture, travel. Those are all things that I enjoy writing about... but it's a matter of finding one that resonates for me and sticking with it... Still working on that!

Lead vs. Cadmium

So, we all know lead is poisonous, right? And if you've been reading the news lately, you know that Health Canada has pretty strict guidelines on how much lead is OK in products. In this case, we're talking about children's jewelry.

Do manufacturers really care though? Apparently not, because they have just replaced lead with... cadmium. Cadmium which according to the Health Canada website is "known to be more toxic than lead". Hello? Is it just me, or is this just not a little bit strange? Turns out that when Health Canada tightened the noose on lead in children's products, the manufacturer's just started adding more cadmium.

Which makes me wonder, now that Health Canada has banned cadmium in children's jewelry, what are the manufacturer's going to come up with next? Perhaps plutonium or uranium? As for were most of this stuff comes from... China. As for where most of it is sold... Walmart and dollar stores. Of course the cadmium is only really toxic if you lick, suck or bite on your jewelry. Kids don't do that, do they?

On the other side, perhaps Health Canada should do an end run around manufacturer's and ban all toxic materials from products... before the manufacturer's figure out what comes next.

Adventures in Cooking 2

Well... celery root remoulade is... not very delicious. I had such high hopes for it, but when we tried it... well... it's not exactly palatable. Far too much vinegar in the remoulade... I have to admit, the celery root smelled enticing when I was peeling it... a hard to describe fragrance, which hinted at even more delicious tastes to come. But no... it was a flop...

Now the reason I was onto celery root was because my grandfather drooled over seleriesalat (celery salad), which my mother said was made from celery root. So, in the face of the remoulade failure... I went online and searched for German recipes and came across a few. They are very different!! You actually boil the celery root whole, then peel it and slice... and add a simple dressing... I confirmed the recipe with my mother, so we might be doing celery root salad (Take Two!) in a few days!

Adventures in Cooking

Or should I say, adventures in shopping before cooking! I was in Superstore today and cruising through the produce section on a mission for red peppers and cucumber. That was it, that was all I wanted... And then I saw it... a vegetable I had seen on a cooking show... fennel. The siren call of the fennel pulled me over and stood looking at it... turning it this way and that, wondering... could I cook this?? I looked for the price, but in Superstore, they just have a long horizontal line of prices above the produce cooler... which means you actually have to know what you have in your hand to figure out a price. Was this fennel? There was no Fennel listed, only Anise. Was this anise? I didn't think so... but what else could it be??

There was also something which looked very much like celery root and I had a vague memory swirl up of a celery remoulade, a dish that my grandfather actually drooled over... Hmm... I put the fennel/anise back and picked up the celery root... could I cook this???

My culinary buttons have been pushed and I am intrigued by these two things... but I decide not to buy them, preferring to go home and research recipes first... And yes, Fennel is Anise... go figure.... Anyhow... I have a little clump of recipes printed off and I'm thinking that I might do some adventures in cooking this weekend. Last year it was artichokes and eggplant.... this year... celery root and fennel!!

A Nomadic Minimalist

I have to admit, I'm strangely attracted to the nomadic minimalist lifestyle. The idea of travelling the world with only a minimal amount of stuff... not being tied down by a house or a car or "stuff".... very appealing in a suprising kind of way.

I came across Raam Dev who left it all and travelled around southeast Asia for 6 months with only a backpack... a backpack of stuff... amazing. His life transformed, and as he says, he become spontaneous and fearless.

There's lots of stuff out there on minimalism... Dave Bruno wrote a book that challenged people to get their possessions down to 100 things (yep, 100). He's written a blog on minimalism as well. There's great advice on how to live with less. Lots of stuff out there... to encourage us to have less stuff!

The Curse of Cursive

There's lots in the news right now about the death of cursive script... real handwriting. Apparently the Indiana Board of Education has decided that teachers no longer need to teach cursive writing in primary school, but can focus more on keyboard skills. Interesting...

I remember learning cursive script in Grade 3 and having horrible handwriting until Grade 5, when my parents gave me the incentive of $5 for going up a grade in Writing. I went from a C- to an A very quickly! After that, my handwriting was pretty good... and I used it throughout highschool. During my early years in university, I worked for a geotechnical engineer at the department of highways. I helped create a lot of draughting diagrams... by hand! This was before Autocad! So, I learned how to print everything. And after that... well, printing has become my new writing. I find it actually much quicker than cursive writing... as do a lot of other people apparently. Speed is now the key... not elegance or a beautiful script.

There was an editorial recently in the newspaper lamenting the disappearance of cursive script. "How will children, as they grow into adults, surive in the world??" Some of the examples given:

• signing legal documens
• scribble notes
• express themselves in writing away from a keyboard
• dash off a shopping list
• write cheques
• send thank-you notes with a personalm message
• write a sympathy/bereavement card
• label something
• take notes in a university lecture
• jot down last minute additions to a speech in the margins of a typed copy

Well, honestly... I think a lot of those are going into a Blackberry or iPhone or iPad or some other variant. These devices are being more and more ubiquitous. The only glitch would be if the power grid or the wireless network ever went down.

Plus... as long as they continue to teach printing in school, people will still be able to jot things down. As for signing a name... well... cheques are becoming dinosaurs with online banking. Credit cards only need a PIN now... and for those rare moments when you actually need to sign your name... well, there's always the good old-fashioned "X"... (plus a witness!)

17. Puzzles

These are your typical jigsaw puzzle, which I usually like to work on during the Christmas holidays or in the winter time. Over the decades, we've had tonnes of puzzles, and gotten rid of them too, once we got tired of them. Over the years, though, I've hung onto a couple of my favourite puzzles, ones that I remember doing as a kid with my mom and sister. There's one of 3 horses in an orchard. It's only 500 pieces, but just looking at it brings back all sorts of memories. Many of the pieces have bends in them, and are pretty worn out... but... that one is one that I'm hanging onto. So, all told, I probably have 10 or 12 puzzles. I got a set of them for Christmas - a boxed set from Costco. There are 6 in there, and I haven't done all of those ones yet. But the other 6... hmmm... are there any that I could get rid of? Well, there is one... maybe... a 1000 piece picture of pumpkins and squash and a wagon in front of autumn-leafed trees and a wooden fence. But it's also the only 1000 piece puzzle that I've kept so.... sigh.... I'm not sure that I can actually get rid of any puzzles this time around! If push comes to shove, I suppose I could let go of the new ones that I've done already... that would be 3 to go out the door. Which seems doable...

16. DVDs

Well, this actually includes VHS tapes as well... not just DVDs. We went to Optik TV a while ago and decided to get rid of our VHS recorder, now that we have a PVR. So with no VHS recorder... or player... what's the point of keeping all these VHS tapes? They are certainly bulky... and take up a lot of space. Yes, there are some great movies in there, but surely we can replace them with a DVD version, if we really need to? Or, in getting rid of them, maybe we'll just forget that we ever had them and not even miss them?

But what do you do with old VHS tapes? Well, a bunch of them are going to Value Village - ones that are still relatively new and playable. But the blank ones, or the ones on which we taped TV shows and movies... are all going into the garbage. You'd think that somewhere they would have recycling for outdated technology... like cassette tapes and VHS tapes... and CDs! Technology is changing so fast though, it's hard to know what's out-of-date when!

And then the DVDs... well, we're keeping most of those, mostly because we don't have a lot. There are a few that are going bye-bye... but the VHS tapes are forming the bulk of the lot. Which means that our entertainment cabinet is quite a bit emptier than it was... which means we have more space... which is always nice!

From Parents to Child

There have been some articles in the news lately which have given me pause to think. Scientists are beginning to see a link between mothers who take anti-depressants during pregnancy, and the presence of autism in their child, when it is born. There is a higher risk of the fetus developing autism if the mother takes anti-depressants... interesting... I think of some of the families I know who have autistic children, and there is a possibility of a link.

The other link that scientists have found is between second-hand smoke and ADHD in children. Children who are exposed to second-hand smoke are more likely to develop ADHD than children not exposed to smoke.

Which makes me wonder... what else is there that we don't know about? We know of the connection between Fetal Alcohol Syndrome in children whose mother's drank during pregnancy. We know what happened when pregant women took Thalidomide to prevent morning sickness. But what else is out there?

What about if mother's are exposed to Volatile Organic Compounds (VOCs) in paint? What effect does that have? What about taking Advil or Aspirin or Tylenol during pregnancy? What effect does that have?

What if the mother is exposed to car exhaust? Or gets food-poisoning while she is pregnant? Or develops a yeast infection? Or gets assaulted while she is pregant?

It's a wonder that any of us turn out even vaguely normal!

Tragic Irony

Does karma catch up with a person? Is there irony in life?


"A bareheaded motorcyclist participating in a ride to protest mandatory helmet laws was killed when he was thrown over the handlebars in Onandaga, New York. The rider hit his brakes, began fishtailing and lost control of his 1983 Harley Davidson. He shot over the handlebars, hit his head on the pavement and was taken to Upstate University Hospital in Syracuse, New York, where he was pronounced dead.
State police say evidence at the scene plus information from the attending medical expert indicated he would have survived had he been wearing a helmet as required by state law." CNN 


This story is tragic... tragic in its irony... tragic in its consequences. A man died. Will his fellow protest riders wear helmets... unlikely according to the article. It is uspeakably sad to read this story and to know that this man's life is extinguished. Can good come of it? Of course... all of us who read the story and weep can learn something...

Petiquette

For those who have everything, including a dog or a cat that is part of the family....

Yep, they sell them... Their description says:

Satisfying a mutual desire for companionship, this high chair permits your dog or cat to accompany you at the dinner table. The high chair clips securely to tables up to 2" thick and its height adjusts without tools to elevate your pet to near eye level. It has a frame of powder-coated 5/8" steel tubing and its arms are rubber-coated so they will not mar table surfaces. By providing an alternative to sitting on your lap, running disruptively underfoot, or outright banishment, the chair assuages a pet (and its owner's) frustration, and promotes more refined behavior. The chair's 600-denier tan/brown nylon fabric cleans easily. Two tethers on the chair protect your dinner guests against any lapses in etiquette. Folds for convenient storage and travel. For pets up to 10 lbs. 10" H x 12" W x 9 1/2" D. (4 lbs.)

Unfortunately, it's not for sale anymore but... there is another supplier...

Would you buy one? Do you know people who would buy one?? Alas, our cats weigh more than 10 lbs so... not an option... 

But for those who are interested... only 4 left in stock on Amazon!!!

Music

Music is one of the joys of life, and we've come a long way in the last 100 years. It used to be our access to music was live, through someone who actually played an instrument. Might be a harmonic or a violin or a piano or a guitar. People would pull out their instrument and play something. My mother talks about how in the 1930s at Christmas, her dad would play the violin or her sister would play the piano.

Then we had records - the old fashioned grammophone. And all of a sudden, we didn't need to have musical ability in the room, we could bring it into the space through the magic of a record, usually playing at 78 rpm. Then we had 33 1/3 rpm and then 45 rpm.

Along the way, magnetic tapes got developed and all of a sudden there were reel-to-reel tapes - which could store a lot more music than one record. And they morphed into 8 track cassette tapes and they morphed into regular cassettes.

Then, we had the cd... and we all went out and replaced our favourite tapes and records with cds. And now what... well, now we have mp3 and iPod and wma and everything is digital. Miniaturization is at work.

A collection of records took up a lot of space, and they were heavy!! Cassettes and cds took up space as well... but now... now, I can have 4000 or more songs in a little thing that is the size of two fingers (more or less)... I have a virtual library of music at my finger tips. I can listen to anything and everything, whenever I want. I can listen through my computer, or through my iPod. Or I could get a little box that wirelessly connects to my computer network and then play the music over the speakers in the living room. Or I could get wireless speakers and listen to my music all over the house. The possibilities are endless...

And no need for boxes and boxes of records or cds or cassettes... I let go of my cassettes a long time ago. Most of the records went a few years ago... and now it's time to let go of the cds... a few at a time... a little bit here and there... so it's not too much of a shock!

15. TV and Phone cables/cords

So, this is another little clutter spot that resides in our laundry room. We have several boxes full of television cable cords, phone cords, and ethernet cords. Sooo... TV cable cords... we have a variety of lengths and styles. Some are the screw-on variety... some are the push on variety. Do we need them all? Nowadays with Telus Optik TV, they pretty much provide all the cables that you need... so... do we need these or not? Probably not... At least not a dozen cords of various lengths. I'm keeping two smaller cables and getting rid of the rest.

Telephone cords - well, they are always useful. You never know when you might need a huge long extension on the telephone, right? Well... nowadays with cordless phones, that's becoming less of an issue. And some people don't even have landlines and don't use telephone cables! There are also various little doo-dads in there - those internet filters, various connectors to double up phone cords, etc. Those are useful. So maybe it's to reduce the number of phone cables - keep a couple, along with the doo-dads and let the rest go.

And then the ethernet cables. Some are quite long, and quite expensive... Some are shorter, and would be useful for business trips, where you can plug into an ethernet connection in a hotel room. But nowadays, with wirless internet connections, do we need all these cables? Well, yes and no... it depends. Wireless is good, but a wired connection is faster and more stable. So... I think I'll keep these 4 ethernet cables for now... You never know when a need will show up and they represent a significant amount of $ whereas phone and TV cables are pretty cheap.

So, another little area decluttered... and done!

14. Light Bulbs

Light bulbs... these are a tricky thing nowadays. What with LEDs coming in and CFLs being big (that's compact fluorescent lights not canadian football league!), the question is what to do with the old incandescent light bulbs.... We have lots of them because when we moved in, we replaced them all with CFLs... Which leaves me wondering... Pretty soon, you won't be able to buy the regular light bulbs anymore, so should we hang onto these ones? Or should we let them go? They are perfectly good light bulbs, but we have no use for them, other than maybe for the light fixture outside in the back. Hmmm...

Then we have some globe light bulbs, like they usedto have on bathroom vanity light fixtures. Big huge dust catchers is what they are. Now, we don't have any of those light fixtures, so why they are in the house, I have no idea... So, they could probably go to Value Village... maybe...

We also have some chandelier light bulbs, those little ones... and we do have a fixture that uses them, so I think we can keep those ones....

Back to the incandescent light bulbs.. Maybe it's time to reduce the number a little bit?? Keep a few and get rid of the rest? Sounds like a plan!

13. Laundry Room Supplies

Well, this was a fairly easy one, as there isn't a lot of stuff that can accumulate in our laundry room, other than dryer lint! Mind you, I did review all of the laundry soap and bottles that we have. Yep, they are all OK. There is also an old bookshelf in there that stores baskets of rags and bottles of extra cleaning supplies. Those are all OK too.

So, sometimes decluttering a space doesn't take very long at all! Mind you, I did divide the laundry room into a variety of zones because we store other things in there other than laundry supplies. My way of trying to get up to "Declutter 100 Things"!

So, we also have light bulbs in there, along with boxes of phone and cable and ethernet cords... coming up next!

Happiness

Today is Canada Day and a suitable day to reflect on happiness, given we live in the best country in the world.

I've been reading a book by Robert Houlden (of The Happiness Project) called Success Intelligence. Essentially the question is, does success bring about happiness? Does going faster, quicker, harder, more... make us successful and/or happy? The answer... not really.

There are essentially three levels of happiness:
1. Happiness comes from out there - in this case happiness depends on something outside of us - on our spouse, our house, our car, our job, our career, our iPhone... whatever it is - our happiness is intrinsically tied up with what we have. If we have a great job, or lots of money, then we think we'll be happy.

2. Happiness is something we create - so through our thinking, our attitude, our compassion, our forgiveness, we can create happiness in our lives.

3. Happiness is something we are - that essentially, at the core of our being, we are beings of joy. If we get under all the neuroses, all of the ego stuff... we are creatures of pure joy. This happiness can't be taken away, can't be altered. No matter what is going on in our lives, this joy is always there.

So the question is... does success create happiness... or does happiness create success. Yep, the second one... The author suggests that we follow our joy, which probably isn't going to be the 80 hour job that takes you away from your family, your home, your life. What is it that you are most joyful doing and being? What is your passion? What is your joy?

Obesity & Starvation

I was donating plasma the other day and the television on the wall was showing a promotion by World Vision. They were visiting villages in Africa and the closed captioning was giving details of the children and people being highlighted. Two year old children without enough to eat. We all know the stories, we see the pictures, we hear the pleas for help.

Here in North America, the news stories tell us that the prevalence of diabetes has doubled in the last 30 years - to 357 million people. Mostly due to increasing obesity. And that is only for the adults who start to see diabetes showing up in middle age. Let's not talk about the increasing number of obese children and teenagers who are still headed for the obesity bandwagon.

Which makes me wonder... how can these two stark contrasts exist in the same world? How can we have starvation in one country and obesity in another country? And be OK with that?? Because let's face it, we are essentially "OK" with it. We don't rise up against our governments and demand an end to Carbon emissions which are altering the climate and exacerbating desertification in sub-Saharan Africa which forces people to become climatic refugees. We don't stand up and demand an end to the deforestation of Amazonian rainforests. We don't stand up really... as long as it is NIMBY (not in my back yard), we are content with our lives. Oh sure, we have twinges of guilt but... really...

Maybe all obese and overweight people should be forced to sponsor a malnourished or starving child? Maybe the junk food companies should be forced to sponsor poor countries like Haiti? Because in the great circle of life... what goes around... comes around... We might do well to think of that for our future.

12. CDs

Alright, so a few weeks back I completed the transfer of all of my music cds into my new desktop computer, into iTunes. Now that that is done, it's time to look at all of those cds and ask the question... do I still need to keep them? If all of the music is in the computer and in my iPod nano, then do I need to keep the originals? Could I just let go of them? That is the question... Because as soon as I think about getting rid of them, there is something inside of me that goes "NO.... what if you need them!! What if the computer dies or the sound files get obsolete or..." Funny how that happens...

Logically, seriously, realistically, I do not need these hundreds of cds. I could get rid of them. I could let them go... I could... But will I? I know from past experience, that cds are very heavy and bulky to move. I don't want to keep schlepping them around with me. I would really like to just let go of them and move on without them. That would be at least 3 less boxes to move in the future. And it would free up some wall space as the cd racks could go as well.

Maybe it's time to use the Peter Walsh method here as well, except a bit more ruthlessly. So, if I have 200 cds, maybe it's time to let go of 20% of them... which would be 40 of them. Could I let go of 40 cds? Probably... I can already think of some that I don't love and that could go by the board. So, maybe that's the way, just start somewhere and start pulling them off the shelf and see how far I get.

Now, that that's done... it's time to take them to the used record/cd store and see what I can get for them. I know that I'll never get back what I paid for them. But even $1/cd is better than nothing, because right now they aren't doing anything for me other than using my space in our house!

11. Bookshelf in Living Room/Dining Room

Well, although I haven't been blogging about it, I haven't been neglecting my little declutter something every day routine. Yesterday, I took a bunch of stuff to Value Village, stuff which had been starting to clutter up the basement. Now that it's all gone, it's amazing how much space is created! Love that sense of space.

I was watching Peter Walsh (organizing guru) on OWN the other day and he was helping some people declutter there books. His method is to take 10 books and get rid of one of them. If you do that every once in a while (and don't buy books all the time), then pretty soon the book collection will be manageable.

So, the book shelves in the dining room and the living room. Well, they have doors in front of them, so you can't see how many books are in there, which is a definite bonus. But... there are a lot of books in there. On my side, there are all of my scriptural textbooks from my master's degree. Have a referred to them in the last 7 years. Not really. Am I likely to read them again any time soon? Probably not. Am I ever going to refer to them again... most likely not. Hmmm... what to do... I could use the Peter Walsh method and try getting rid of 10% of them. That seems reasonable. It's easier to go through and choose the ones that I really am not attached to and leave the ones that I am attached to.

With that done, I can now take them to my favourite used bookstore and try floggin them there. If they don't take them, then it's off to Value Village that the go.

750 Words

So, I've been writing my morning pages on the website 750 words. I was up to a 55 day streak, and just a few days away from completing the month of June without missing a day. I was a happy Albatross (30 days in a row) well on my way to receiving the Pteradactyl badge (100 days in a row) when... yes, I missed yesterday! Sigh... I woke up this morning with a sinking feeling in my stomach. Maybe I just forgot that I wrote something yesterday? I remember thinking about it several times yesterday but when I logged in... alas... I definitely wrote nothing yesterday. And now, I have lost my lofty Albatross status and am back to being an Egg... Sigh... Well, today is a new day and it's time to dust myself off and try again!

Amazing how well it works, these little badge incentives. I really do not find it burdensome to sit down and write my 750 words, mostly because it only takes me 7 or 8 minutes on the computer, whereas 3 long-hand pages takes at least 30 minutes. Funny how that happens. Maybe I need to actually write on the computer for 30 minutes to match long-hand writing? That would be an awful lot of words!!

Karma?

Two stories of two car accidents:

On December 7, 2007, a cement truck rear-ended a small car stopped at a red light in Calgary. Two adults and five children died in the small car. The driver of the cement truck was convicted of man slaughter sentenced to a 8 year jail term. He was returning to Calgary after pouring a basement foundation at an acreage near Nanton, AB. According to witnesses, the cement truck was speeding and traveling erratically, passing on the shoulder of the highway, prior to the accident.

On Monday June 20, 2011, a small red Toyotoa Corolla rear-ended a transit bus stopped at a bus stop on Granville Street in Vancouver. Three adults, all members of a Hutterite community from Wainright, AB, died in the Corolla, and one occupant is in hospital with severe injuries. The bus passengers and driver were shaken with only one minor injury. The accident happened at the corner of Granville and Nanton Avenue. According to witnesses, the Corolla was travelling at a high rate of speed and weaving in and out of traffic prior to the accident.

The name of the cement truck driver: Daniel Tschetter
The name of the Corolla occupants: Daniel Tschetter (61, injured), his wife Suzy, her son Danny Tschetter and his wife, Debbie (all deceased).

On Monday June 20 and Tuesday June 21, the cement truck driver was granted compassionate leave for undisclosed reasons. His upcoming parole hearing has been postponed until October.

I read these stories and I wonder... is this karma? Is it fair? Is their some form of cosmic justice?

http://www.calgaryherald.com/Fatal+crash+trucker+postpones+parole+hearing/4991694/story.html
http://www.vancouversun.com/news/Three+members+Alberta+Hutterite+colony+killed+Granville+Street+crash/4983878/story.html

Plasma

Today I donate plasma again. Plasma is that yellow stuff that oozes out when you have a scratch or a wound. They separate it out from the whole blood and then return the red blood cells to the donor. Plasma is used for cancer and bone marrow therapy, along with some bleeding disorders.
Every minute of every day, a Canadian somewhere needs blood or blood products...

Only 2% of eligible Canadians donate blood or blood products...

What's stopping you?

Tis the Season for.... Rhubarb

Yep, they are everywhere!! Every back alley, every front yard... It seems like everyone grows rhubarb. The only thing is... not everyone harvests rhubarb! The question is, what to do with rhubarb? Yes, I know you can make cakes and tarts and pies and all sorts of things but... there is so much rhubarb out there, how is one supposed to use it all? It's sort of like zucchini in the fall... an over-abundance... too much of a good thing.

For the last couple of springs, I have been eyeing the ubiquitous rhubarb, that appears around every corner and thinking "I should really pick some and do something with them". I've been searching out recipes and the one thing that looks like it might be useful is a rhubarb relish or chutney. That actually sounds like it might be useful for dinners. Growing up, we had rhubarb, and while some people would eat the stalks raw, I never developed a taste for the tartness. My mom makes rhubarb cake, but I'm not a big fan of it... so... need something else to work with! I did find a good website http://www.rhubarbinfo.com/ which as all sorts of recipes. Who knew that one could use rhubarb in so many different ways! Maybe rhubarb wine would be an option too?

I guess for me, I just see thes harvestable things and want to do something with them!! So... I went out this morning and... harvested some stalks of rhubarb. Lots of the patches I know of have already put out their flower stalks, but I did find a younger patch that didn't have flower shoots. Chopped up the stalks when I got home and put them in a ziploc bag in the freezer... We'll see what comes of them!

Lily of the Valley

Tis the season for Lily of the Valley as well! These are probably my second-favourite flower after Lilacs... at least for pick-your-own flowers. Freesias are even better, but they don't grow around here! Anyhow... I have scoped out several Lily of the Valley patches that are accessible and pickable. Yesterday I did a little tour and found one patch that was ready to harvest! They are so cute and smell so wonderful...

When I was growing up, we had a big patch of Lily of the Valley in the front yard and would always go out and pick bunches to put in vases around the house. They remind me of my mother and of our house...

It's funny how things can pull us back into our memories, smells particularly. Smelling lilacs brings me back to my childhood. Smelling Lily of the Valley draws me back to a different aspect of my childhood. These tangible sights and smells can transport us back in time. Which might be why so many of us hold onto physical things... we are holding onto the memories that these things evoke in us. I wonder what would happen if we divested ourselves of all physical reminders of the past... would we be less likely to dwell in the past? Would we be unable to recall events from our pasts? It's like the things are triggers that pull us back into the past... so what would happen if those things weren't around?

Hmmm.... now some things might trigger unpleasant memories... and other things might trigger pleasant memories... but most things seem to trigger a combination... Would we give up the pleasant memories along with the unpleasant?? Good question...

Tis the Season for... Lilacs

I love lilacs. Love them... love the look of them and the smell of them. Love having them in the house... just not in an enclosed room because then they give me a headache. And now is the season for lilacs here... they are everywhere, in full bloom, and the whole atmosphere seems fragrant with their perfume. I love the various purples that they come in... and the odd white bush. There are also "fake" lilacs out there, some other bush, that pretends to be a lilac, but there is nothing like the real thing.

When I was a toddler, we lived in a little house that was surrounded by lilac bushes/trees. Maybe that's what started my lifelong love-affair with lilacs? Maybe it's ingrained in my genes at this point.

I read up on how to cut lilacs so that they will stay fresh longer in a vase, and so far it is working... cut them in the mornings. Cut the stem on the diagonal, and immediately put them in a bucket of warm water with some flower preservative. When you get them home, do not crush the ends of the stalk - that will damage the vascual tissue. Instead, slice the bottom inch of the stalk lengthwise with a knife, so that it is split. Put them in water with flower preservative... and voila... lilacs that stay fresh longer...

Garage Sales

So our local community area had a Garage Sale day the other weekend. Of course we went and took a look around... you never know what you might find. Sometimes we find things that we actually need, like a vertical freezer. Othertimes, we see things that we really don't need, but might just snap up because they are such a good deal. After a few months of enjoying those things, we might then send them on to Value Village. It's kind of a fun way to spend a Saturday, or at least a few hours on a Saturday.

But, it does go against the prevailing trend in our house towards decluttering. We are trying to let go of things, and then end up bringing more things into the house via garage sales! Mind you... as long as they don't become a permanent fixture, then it's not too bad. One thing comes in and two things go out... That works pretty good... as long as two things go out of the house! That is the key... otherwise if things just come in and never go out, well, that ends up looking pretty ugly.

I know some people who like to collect things, whatever it might be... pottery or china or tea cups or spoons or whatever. Some people go to garage sales just looking for their collectible. I'm kind of glad I've never developed that habit. If I collect anything, it is family tree information. Others might thrill at the hunt for a collectible. I thrill at the hunt for a tidbit on the family tree. All works out to the same thrill of the hunt and the joy of discovery... just with less stuff to clutter up the house.

So, why all this decluttering? Well, I find that when I declutter I create a bit of physical space, which might not be huge. But the other thing that is created is psychic or emotional space. Somehow there is less "stuff" in my space to draw my attention and my energy. All of the stuff is an energy drain... sapping my attention and energy. Consciously and unconsciously. So, why not let go of it and create some space, some energy and some attention that can then be devoted elsewhere.

Being Right

So, I'm still reading this Being Wrong book, about halfway through, and it is quite fascinating. We think that we weigh all the evidence and form our opinions and judgements in a very rational way. So that when we come up with an answer or a stand or an opinion or a belief, we are convinced that we have done a good job of getting there. We are also convinced that our answer is right... like Right! But then, if other people have a different answer or stand or opinion or belief, we think that they haven't done the same due diligence in forming their opinions. We think that they are lacking in information. We think that they are somehow less diligent than us. They don't believe the same thing that we believe, and if we are right, then they must be wrong. And guess what, they think the same thing about us...

We see this most commonly in religion, where Catholics, for example, believe that their religion is the true faith and that other religions just don't have it all together. If people of other faiths only knew the whole truth, then they would obviously become Catholic. And Muslims think the same thing... and Evangelical Christians... and Jews...

Truth is though, we don't always form our opinions or beliefs in a rational, logical way. We go with the herd a lot of the time. We don't see things as they really are, we see things as we believe them to be... Every single opinion, belief, judgement we have about anything... always has the possibility of error within it... We don't have all the answers, but we sure think that we do!

Tumbleweed Houses

I've come across the story of Jay Schafer before. He's the guy who built a tiny little house called Tumbleweed and has lived in tiny houses ever since then... 89 square feet (http://www.tumbleweedhouses.com/) There is something appealing to me in his story. The idea of having a tiny house for $50,000 and living lightly upon the earth. The big thing for me is... the space... or lack thereof. I look around our 1500 sq ft condo and all of the stuff that we have and think... how could that ever be decluttered?? The kitchen alone wouldn't fit into one of the Tumbleweed houses!! Not a chance... not a hope...

Which leads me to wonder... how much of our stuff do we actually use? For instance, there are things in our kitchen that we have never used, or use maybe once a year... Which begs the question... why do we hang onto them? Basically because we have the space, or as my mother would say "it eats no bread" (sounds much better in German!).  We have the space, it's not bothering anyone, so let's just keep it. But instead of always upsizing... what if we downsized? What if we were able to let go of things to the point that we could begin to leave a smaller footprint on the earth?

There's a quote in Jay's book that says:
Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful. (William Morris)

The Tumbleweed houses are also mounted on wheels... so they are mobile... I like the idea of that, the ability to pick up and go somewhere else. I must have a travel bug...

10. Cat Toys

Yep, the cats helped me declutter their toy box. They weren't around and I thought it would be a good idea to get rid of toys that they never play with. But as soon as I started rooting through their toy box, both of them appeared like magic with their inquisitive little faces. With their disapproving supervision, I managed to get rid of a variety of things that they have never played with... and managed to empty their toybox by about a third. It's a small thing, but it's something that's been hanging around my space for a while... So now it's done and there's another ziploc bag full of stuff that has gone into the Value Village box.

So that is done, and it only took me 10 minutes! That's what I like about this method of decluttering... it doesn't take a long time, just 10 or 15 minutes a day and a tiny corner of the house is done. Do that often enough, and it's amazing what can be accomplished.

9. Old Computer

With the new computer set up and running well, I don't need the old computer. But... my temptation is to hang onto it "just in case". But I've got all my programs up and running so... there is not excuse really. But, what to do with it? There's the monitor and the cpu and the mouse and the keyboard and tonnes of cables. Time to let go of it. I didn't want to go through the hassle of getting a drive-wipe-out program, so I just openned up the computer, took out the harddrive and attempted to disable it with a little sledgehammer. Those things are tough!! Encase in steel with a screw that uses a weird shape (not slot, not hex, not roberts, not phillips)... so it's dented and rattles on the inside, which is good enough.

Now, I know that I can take the stuff to the electronic recycling depot or to Staples, so I just need to do it. I was reading an article today about rare earth metals, and how they are in practically everything technological nowadays... everything from cell phones to catalytic convertors, to windmills, to computer hard drives. And pretty much all of the world's rare earth metals come from China and questionable mining practices. So recycling all those computer parts is a good thing... recycling rare earth metals.

8. Declutter Box of House Repair Thingies

There is this paper box that has a variety of miscellaneous things for the house. I have separate boxes for electrical, plumbing, painting, etc. But this big paper box has all sorts of things: plastic zip ties, tub caulking, steel wool, serious duct tape, curtain hooks, picture hanger wire, rolls of that rubber anti-skid stuff, bales of string, plant hooks, etc. etc. Quite the hodge podge...

So today I sat down and went through the box and was actually surprised at the things I was able to let go of. First off, the curtain hooks... haven't used them in years... and I can always get them cheap again at Value Village so... Also the plant hanger hooks. These are the ones that go in the ceiling and I had about 20 of them. I think I picked some up once at a free garage sale or something. Anyhow... I kept 6 or so and let the rest go. Some of the tub caulking tubes as well. They're probably dried out in there anyhow... and we have a bone coloured tub, so white tub caulking isn't going to work!

So, it's only one box but... it makes a difference. I now have about 4 boxes of stuff sitting downstairs that is destined to go out the door and that is 4 boxes worth less of stuff in the house. Every little bit helps!

Truth and Beliefs

I read another book the other week which brought up an interesting point. If something is true... for example, that the earth is a roundish... then to say "I believe the earth is roundish" doesn't make it true. To say "I believe the earth is flat" doesn't make the earth flat.


To say "I believe in God" or "I do not believe in God" does not alter the truth that God exists or does not exist. So our beliefs are really quite irrelevant to the order of the world. If something exists or is true, that is that. If something does not exist or is not true, then no amount of belief is going to alter that.

Which makes me wonder... with so many world religons out there, all professing to have the truth, all believing that they have the truth... what is the point of all that? What is the point of fighting over our beliefs? Beliefs that can change from one minute to the next, or from one year to the next or from one century to the next. We all think that our beliefs are the truth... but what if they aren't? Beliefs have defended slavery. Beliefs have defended the Holocaust. Beliefs have defended terrorism and mass murder. For what?

That's where we then claim to have the truth and know the truth. Because if our beliefs don't convince things... then we will say we have the Truth... and know the Truth... But do we?

Being Wrong

I've started reading a book called Being Wrong, all about this whole human thing of erring and making mistakes. The author says that making mistakes and being wrong is actually one of our greatest gifts. It's how we learn things... it's how we make different choices. I'm only in the early stages of the book, so it will be interesting to see how she comes to that conclusion!!

So often, we see mistakes and errors as abject failures on our part. We castigate ourselves or others for mistakes and failures. We have a heck of a time admitting that we have said or done something wrong. In fact, we like to believe that we are right pretty much most of the time. Apparently that is the tricky thing with being wrong... you never know you are wrong in the moment... but always after the fact. At the time when you are making a mistake or error... you always think you are right... Our recognition of it as a mistake or as something wrong is the moment where we see what we've been doing.

Which makes me wonder... even if we know something is "wrong"... when we do it, we still think that it is the right thing to do... Otherwise we wouldn't be doing it. Do do the wrong thing, knowing it is the wrong thing and believing it is the wrong thing... well, that would be kind of crazy... Which means that we are master justifiers... we can justify pretty much anything. We can convince ourselves that black is white, or at least a fetching shade of grey... Amazing actually...

So, ultimately, how do we really know that we are doing is right? And we're not talking about moral right/wrong... although that can get swept up into the whole things as well. What we're talking about is making a decision or a choice... and having it be the right one.. Can we ever know? And does it even make any difference if we decide wrongly?

Birds

So I figured out what that robin was doing outside the office window... It was building a nest in the big spruce tree outside! Drove thec cats nuts for a while and was like television for them. They would sit on my desk for hours and watch the robin bringing in twigs and grasses and fussing with its nest.

Alas though, we had a week of torrential downpours and I don't think the nest location is ideal for keeping any little birds or eggs dry. So far, it seems like the nest is abandoned but... you never know... so we'll see how it goes.

For now, the cats are highly sensitized to anything that goes "bonk" against the window. This morning, there was a loud bonk from the living room and Rascal and I both ran to investigate. There was a little sparrow lying outside on the stones, kicking its little legs. Another sparrow was hopping around it. I went outside and picked up the little guy and tucked him against an old patch of cat-mint, hoping for the best. Twenty minutes later, I went to check on him, and he was gone... Much to Rascal's disappointment! Both cats were very interested in the smell on my hands though!

By the way, still decluttering, but needed a break from blogging about it!

7. Declutter Box of Framed Pictures in Basement

There were maybe 8 framed pictures in this box, little ones mostly... and I got rid of 3 of them. Which is pretty good I figure. A couple are going to a friend of mine, if he wants them. One is going to Value Village. And I'm keeping the rest for now... we'll see... Maybe I'll keep the photographs and ditch the old IKEA clip frame... We'll see. But there we go, another box gone, or at least a half box.

I'm not sure why I hang onto all these things for so long but... I do. And now is a great chance to let go of things. The other day, I read about a condo complex that had a sewer back-up. Twenty units had up to 50 cm of sewage water in their basements. Now, that's a forced declutter!! Far better to let go of things voluntarily... and then I don't need so much space to store things... and there's less to worry about!

Things do create worry... and concern... we have to care for our things and insure them and protect them. But for what? Especially the things that we don't use or love anymore... like these photographs. Good question...

6. Declutter Basement Binder Box

This actually turned out to be two boxes, which is a bonus! I knew about these boxes... they had been sitting in the basement for a few years now. At one point, when our humidifier over-dripped, they even got splattered by calcium-rich water and ended up looking like they were snow-sprinkled.

So, today, I sat down there and pulled them out and looked at them. There were 5 course binders with notes from my theology degreee. To keep or not to keep?? That is the question. Have I referred to them in the last 8 years... no... am I likely to refer to them... no... Can I let go of them??? Ahhh!!! So I phoned a friend who basically told me exactly what I already knew... and with that little bit of encouragement, I was able to open up the binder rings and happily pitch the notes into the recycle bin.

The second box contained some extra framed pictures and photographs (more on that in the next posting)... and underneath them... two more binders!! These were the infamous Lay Formation binders that I've been looking for for months and months. I figured I must have already pitched them and yet here they were... It didn't take long to let go of them as well.

Seven thick (2.5 to 3 inch) binders are now empty and going off to Value Village as well. And I am 20 lbs lighter... maybe more... or at least my possessions are that much lighter. It feels good to let go of that stuff... and it only took 20 minutes...