In the Backpack - Meditation

Everything I've been reading says that if there is one thing to do in life it is this... meditate. That's it. For 30 seconds here and there, for 30 minutes, for 3 hours. The time doesn't really matter - what matters is that we do it. But meditation has a bad rap reputation... it's hard... it takes too long... it doesn't work for me... I can't do it... my mind keeps wandering... etc. etc.

I wonder if, as children, we said the same thing when we starrted to learn to crawl or walk or ride a bike... or skate or swim or read... or any of those things? Meditation is like those things... it takes practice. And there are many techniques. But somehow it still manages to slip off of my radar screen very quickly.

Part of the issue is that we really don't have a strong tradition of meditation in the Catholic Church. Yes, I know... I've heard of Centering Prayer and John Main and the Christian Mystics. And yet... how much of that is present in the run-of-the-mill parish? It wasn't around when I was growing up... or later even. Our focus is on the Mass, first and foremost. The Mass is the most important thing. But is it... really? We spend 1 hour a week at Mass. What do we do the rest of the time? How can we connect with the divine the rest of the time. Because if we're thinking 1 hour of Mass a week is going to do it... or even throw weekday Mass in for good measure... it ain't gonna cut it. Not in my experience.

And so... meditation... a way to still the mind... a way to slip into the gap between thoughts and words and breaths. A way to touch the silence that lives within each one of us. A way to just Be. But how does one do it? Well.... for Christmas, my partner gave me a subscription to a meditation series from the Chopra Centre. I've meditated with it several times now... and it is good. All you have to do is get comfortable and close your eyes and follow the instructions and let them worry about the length and the timing and that sort of stuff. It's simple... and it works.

A definite asset in my backpack.

In the Backpack - Community

I think community is very important. Especially regarding faith and worship. If there is one thing that I miss from Church, it is the sense of community. But even there... people would come and go at Mass... and you wouldn't see them again all week. But sometimes, you'd connect and make friends with people. So, in that regard, Church is a great way to make connections with like-minded people and develop friendships, particularly if you get involved in the Church.

So, one of the things that is important for me to develop as I embark on this journey, is a community of like-minded individuals. It's important to have people to bounce ideas off of... to share ideas and insights... And I am developing that... so that is something that I need to continue to develop. You never know where you might meet people who share a similar spirituality. It's just a matter of striking up conversations.

In the Backpack - Baptism

I was baptized as a baby. I think I was probably 2 weeks old and obviously didn't have much say in the matter. But it's not something that I would reverse. It's part of what has made me into the person that I am today, so why would I reverse or alter that? What is baptism for me... immersion into the life, death and resurrection of Christ... immersion into the life of the divine. It is our uniquely Christian way of bringing a child into the fold of Christ. There are other ways of immersing oneself into the life of the divine... but for Christians... baptism is it.

I know that some people want to erase their baptism, seeing it as a way of removing themselves from the Church. It doesn't work that way. And for me, baptism isn't so much related to the "church" community, as it is to the divine community. That's not something that I want to leave...

One thing that has perplexed me around baptism is the giving of the baptismal candle. I know what it signifies... I know why we give it but... what happens to the candle afterwards? It is lit at the baptism, handed to the parents or godparents and they are enjoined to keep the light of Christ burning in the life of the child. But then, it is blown out. Kind of a mixed up symbolism. "here's a candle... keep it burning... now blow it out".

My baptismal candle had "1966" on it... along with a red cross. It has traveled with me in my trunk for the last few decades. I wondered about it... what does one do with a baptismal candle? Well, I burned mine. I lit it and let it burn down. That was a couple of weeks ago. The world didn't end. I didn't die. Lightening didn't strike. The light is still burning bright in my soul... and I feel lighter.

In the Backpack - Desire to Make a Difference

I want to make a difference in the world. I think that's true for all people. We want our lives to matter. We want to leave a legacy behind. I suppose the real question is... how can we do that? How can I do that? I think there are many ways of doing that. I think that there is a unique way for each and every one of us to make a difference.

When I was a kid, I played with a neighbour boy who lived two doors down. His name was Mikey and his parents were German as well. We played at my house, we played at his house, we played outside. Although his family was Lutheran, he attended the Catholic elementary school along with me. I remember that we used to play "church" in his living room. We would take turns playing the role of the priest. We would use a wine glass with grape juice and we would get some baking wafers and pretend that we were giving out communion. Kind of funny... him being a Lutheran... and me being a girl... neither one of us ever likely to be a Catholic priest. At that time, that was the career we wanted to imitate... that was how we wanted to make a difference.

Today, I think I can make a difference in many ways, my writing being a primary way. My way of being in life is another way... I think that each and every one of us can be Christ in the world. Each and every one of us can make a difference with people in our daily interactions. I just need to be open to the interactions and see how in this moment, in this place... I can make a difference and alter the world around me.