The Coaching Habit - Michael Bungay Stanier - Part 4

The Coaching Habit -
Michael Bungay Stanier

2017 Reading Challenge - Day 139

  May 19, 2017 

Book 39 - The Coaching Habit -
Say Less, Ask More and Change the Way You Lead Forever
Michael Bungay Stanier (2016)
 Part 4 - pages 160-223
Reading Time - 1 hour

Last 2 questions... Question 6 is the Strategic Question. It is based in the notion that being busy is a form of laziness - which is kind of a weird thought! But being busy is a reflection of lazy thinking and indiscriminate action. Being busy means we say "yes" to everything and don't choose. So the essence of strategy is choosing what NOT to do. The questions is phrased as: "If you're saying "yes" to this... then what are you saying "no" to?" A follow-up question could be: "What could being fully committed to this idea look like?" It's good to remember that a yes is nothing without the no that gives it boundaries and form. Another helpful thought is to learn how to say "no" by saying "yes" more slowly. Often we say "yes" too quickly without getting all the facts or all the parameters of whatever it is we're being asked. We could be curious, ask some questions and get clear if this is something we really want to say yes to.

Question 7 is the Learning Question... People don't learn by being told something... or by reading something, or even by experiencing something. They learn when they have a chance to recall and reflect on what just happened. So the question to ask is: "What was Most Useful to You?". Tricky, eh. It's not... "How was this useful"... or "Was this useful to You"... because each of those could be answered... "It wasn't useful at all!". By asking... What was most useful, it makes the person look and see... there was something in all of this that was useful... what was it? It forces people to extract value from something. One final bit of advice is to use every channel to Ask a Question - not just conversation, but email works also.

Finally... the author encourages us to build a habit of Curiosity. That's really the core of this I think... is being curious about the other and what answer they will come up. We always think we know the right answer... but we don't. I liked this book and the questions it offered up. I am going to type them on a little card, post it on my desk near the phone and use it for work conversations!