Olympics

Gotta love that Wild Wonderful Woman's Wednesday a few days ago!! I managed to actually watch the Canada-Russia hockey game. Normally I find those things extremely stressful, vacillating between hope and despair as the two sides trade goals. But this was such an amazing game... with great plays by the Canadians... So it was great! And icing on the cake was the women's bobsleigh, gold and silver... and the women's short-track relay, silver... and the 5000 m women's speed skating, bronze... What a day! Now, this is getting posted on Feb 28... and is being written on Feb 25... so who knows what may come in between those two dates... Women's hockey... men's semi-final hockey... curling... all sorts of possibilities for medals... and more medal ceremonies too... As I was driving to the airport today, I just had this thought that a whole country is bursting with pride today... But, here at the airport, there is the typical subdued Canada spirit... everybody burstng on the inside... but not really showing it on the outside... We can be proud, but not too proud... That's Canada for you... We beat the Russians at the Olympics for the first time in 50 years and.... well... we take it in our stride!

Yoga

I went to my first "official" yoga session the other day... It wasn't quite what I expected! I have been doing some of the yoga moves and it seemed, to me, like a lot of stretching and movement stuff. But what I got from the class was, there's a lot of focus on breath and breathing as well! I know for myself, that my breath is quite shallow and quick... I just think that's normal... at least for me... But maybe there's another way to breathe? What does it mean if my breath is always shallow?? Do I have stagnant air in my lungs? What would it be like if I altered my breathing to take deeper, slower breaths? I'm not sure! Part of me thinks I might hyperventilate or something! But it was definitely interesting to do these stretches and exercises while focusing on my breath... I also thought I'd feel tired afterwards, but that wasn't the case... just peaceful! Which is a nice after-effect, especially at the end of a long, hectic weekend... We talk a lot in the Church about meditation and contemplation, and how important that is... but really... how much do we practice that? I know, for me, quiet time is one the first things to go off of my schedule when I have things to do... I'd much rather be doing than being... much rather be accomplishing things than just sitting in silence which seems kind of... a waste of time! But everything I'm reading says that meditation or quiet time is THE most important thing you can do/be for yourself... Time to just be... and not think...

Deepak Chopra

Last week, we went and saw Deepak Chopra, who was speaking on Reinventing the Body and Resurrecting the Soul, his new book. It was a fascinating talk, and brillian to see how he weaves his medical knowledge together with quantum physics to really challenge our understanding of the body and the world around us. One thing really stuck with me... he was speaking of Wilder Penfield, a scientist in Canada who, while doing brain surgery, noticed a few things. This was under local anaesthetic, so the pateints were awake and could respond. He would stimulate the area that controlled say, arm movement. He would use an electric probe, touch the area, and the patient's arm would move upwards. The patient noticed this but said he wasn't causing the arm to move... the electrical stimulation was creating that. After several times of this, Dr. Penfield asked the patient to override the arm movement, and to move his arm across his chest. The brain area that raised the arm was stimualted, but the arm moved across the patient's chest. The big question... we think our consciousness, or our mind, is in our brain. But this experiment seems to indicate that consciousness, mind, is external to the brain... That something outside of our brain can override what the brain says... Make sense??? Quite a fascinating idea... with all sorts of implications for all sorts of things... We're reading the book right now... so more insights as they come!

Time or Energy

I read somewhere that the real shortage isn't time... but energy! That we have all the time we require... but the question is... do we have the energy that we need? There are many things in our lives that deplete our energy... and teh real question is, how do we recharge our batteries? Back a few years ago, we talked about battery memory. How you needed to run a battery until it was dead before putting it on the recharger. If you didn't drain it completely, but put it on the charger prematurely, it wouldn't recharge fully... And the next time, would recharge less and so on... Until you had a cordless phone that needed to be put on the charger every hour or something! Sometimes it seems like we treat ourselve that way as well... we run and run and go and go until we collapse, and only then do we recharge ourselves... Luckily, we are not like those older batteries... we can go for a bit and then recharge... go for a bit and recharge and we won't develop a battery memory! That takes a bit of doing though... to stop whatever is going on, to get off the hamster wheel, and recharge... "Oh, but I've still got time before I "need" to recharge, so I'll just keep doing a bit more... and a bit more"... Sound familiar?? Please say "yes", otherwise I'll think this is only me!!! How do you recharge?? And how often??

Receiving Change

I have a minor pet peeve... Back after I finished high school, I spent a summer working in a corner store and learned how to give change to people. You know... the cost is $11.37 and they give you a $20. So how to make change? I started off by trying to work backwards... so $11.37... means there would be 100-37 = 63 cents... and then trying to figure it out. This was before the till machine told you how much change to give! One of my co-workers quickly taught me the correct way... $11.37... so + 3 pennies = $11.40 and then + a dime = $11.50 and then + 2 quarters = $12.00 and then + a loonie and a toonie = $15 and then + a $5 = $20!! So start with the smallest and work up the biggest. Simpler and way less prone to error. When we handed back the change, we counted it back the same way: give them the small change and say "$12" and then the toonie & loonie and say "$15" and then the five dollar bill and say "$20". A purist would actually count the pennies and dimes and quareters back into the hand of the customer. So they would have a pile of coins in their hand and then dollar bills placed on top.

Nowadays... the till tells you how much to give back and cashiers count it out of the drawer from the biggest to the smallest. So the machine says $8.33 as change... and they get a $5 and a $2 and a $1 and then 2 quarters, 1 dime and 3 pennies. And they plop it all into your hand... bills first and coins on top... Have you experienced a problem with that? The coins don't land on the bills very well and inevitably slide off... so you either have to catch them quickly or chase them down on the floor, etc. I don't have a problem with cashiers making change however it works for them... But please... put the coins in the hand first and then the bills!!! Everybody would be so much happier and there would be a lot fewer spilled coins out there... Perhaps we could start a revolution?? Suggest the coin first option to cashiers and see where it goes??

Pacific Garbage Island

Did you know that the Pacific Ocean has a bit garbage pile in the middle of it??? I had heard about the Pacific Gyre, a circulation pattern in the Pacific in which things tend to accumulate. I had heard that there was garbage that collects there, but I had no idea of the size of it... or the ramifications. Plastic is the primary component... but plastic lasts forever, right? So what harm can it do?? Well... plastic does last forever, but through the process of photo-degradation it breaks down into smaller and smaller pieces... and leaches toxins... So big critters (like albatross) eat the big pieces... and little critters (like krill) eat the small pieces... and it gets passed up the food chain... eventually ending up in things that we eat. Most of this garbase (80%) comes from garbage from land, not from passing ships, etc. Every once in a while, this gyre will spew garbage out towards Hawaii... so that whole beaches are covered with garbage, several feet deep. Can we clean this garbage pile up?? Apparently it's not feasible to send ships out to scoop up garbage spread over an area twice the size of Texas and floating to a depth of 100 feet. But what we can do is make sure that we don't send more plastic to compound the problem... So, the next time you see a plastic bottle floating down a creek or river... or see a plastic bag blowing around the streets... why not do our planet a service and clean it up? (See below for some links)
http://www.vbs.tv/newsroom

http://science.howstuffworks.com/great-pacific-garbage-patch.htm

http://www.unep.org/regionalseas/marinelitter/publications/docs/plastic_ocean_report.pdf

Northern Lights

Well, I did get to see the northern lights in Yellowknife! They weren't scintillating colours, more a white or pale green, but they were still impressive. We were viewing them from the edge of the retreat centre we were staying at... and they were nice there. But then someone took us out, through Yellowknife, and onto the ice road across the big lake. We got a fair distance from the lights of Yellowknife, and there they were, a huge curtain of northern lights hanging across the sky, shifting and dancing! Very cool.... You actually feel very small and insignificant standing there beneath them, beneath the most impressive live painting experience in the world. Apparently they are also there during the day, but it's too light for us to see them... To think that this is happening all the time... and most times we can't see it. In the city, even at night, it's hard to see them, because of all the city lights. Reminds me that we clutter up our lives with all sorts of things, and we can't see the things that are out there all the time... The glory of God that is all around us... The beauty of other people... We are blind to those things, blinded by our own stuff... interesting....

Google Earth

Google Earth is a way cool application!! Not only can you look at places, as if from the air, a birds-eye view so to speak... many places now have street views. You can grab the little yellow person along the side of the map/aerial view, and drag it onto a street that turns blue and voila... all of a sudden you are standing in a street in Paris or Zurich or London or... anywhere else in the world! Well, at least anywhere major in the world! My hometown now has street view.. but only along the main highway that runs through town... Still, I can stand there and take a look around and see that it was taken last summer when the river was very high... so probably June! I have been using the street view feature to visit the cities that my grandparents visited on their belated honeymoon in 1936 or thereabouts... Places like Zurich and Lucerne. It's actually very cool to be able to stand in a street in Zurich and do a 360 and see the street and the river and the fountain... and imagine my grandparents there as well... To see the things that they have in their photographs. It's a very handy feature... as long as the places you are interested in have been photographed. The technology is fascinating, and consists of a van or a car or even a bicycle/tricycle that is equipped with multi-directional cameras and a GPS device... Pretty cool...

Just go to google.ca - type in the name of the place you're looking for, and when results come up, click on maps along the top... and then the map link when it shows up... If the little person is yellow... you have streets you can swoop down on...

Patience

Patience is a virtue... or so they say... My flight to Yellowknife on Feb 9 was an exercise in patience... to say the least!!! I was at the airport in plenty of time for the 8:35 am departure... happily reading a book while waiting for the flight to board. It looked like we might even leave early, but some last minute luggage was loaded and we ended up leaving about 10 minutes late instead of 10 minutes early. Those 20 minutes made a big difference! As we neared Edmonton (for to catch the connecting flight)... we were told by the pilot that Edmonton Airport had just been wrapped in fog... so no landings and no departures. We circled around for about 25 minutes and then the jet powered up and I knew we were in for a long haul! Yup, we were headed back to Calgary. We landed at around 10:15 am and were told to get our luggage and head up the Westjet charter counters. My luggage was almost the first pieces down the conveyor, so I moved quickly... but was still #20 in line... A line that took 1 hour for me to get to the desk... Where I was told that the next flight to Edmonton was at 12:00 pm and it was booked solid and there was no way I could make the Yellowknife flight... now due to leave Edmonton at 1:10 pm... Soooo... The next best thing was to fly out the next day, same time, same place...

That's the way it goes sometimes!! Luckily, two other workshop team members had made it into Edmonton from Winnipeg, just before the fog closed in so they were good to go up to Yellowknife... They'll just have to do Day 1 without me! While waiting in the interminable line-up to get "reaccomodated"... I eventually ended up sitting on my luggage on the luggage cart and reading a book. Other people were getting irate... but there really isn't anything that irate will get you... except a feeling of irateness... It doesn't make anything move faster... or make flights appear out of thin air... So... patience is the key... and there are lots of opportunities for patience in a day... or in an hour!!!

Women Deacons??

Will wonders never cease?? On Dec 15, 2009, the Vatican published a Motu Proprio from Pope Benedict, dated October 26, 2009. In it, the pope addresses two issues, the diaconate and a marriage issue. The first one is of interest here... Within the document, the pope modifies some articles of Canon Law (#1008 and 1009) regarding the diaconate.

Basically, the current code of canon law says that sacred orders (i.e. ordained deacons, priests & bishops) participate in the headship of Christ. Bendict clarifies that actually only priests and deacons participate in the headship of Christ "inpersonal Christi". Deacons serve the Church through ministry and service. The document says there is a clear distinction between the diaconate and the presbyterate (priesthood). The deacon acts "in imago Dei" and the priest acts "in persona Christi".

So, basically, the diaconate is a unique ministry unto itself and not simply a step along the way to priesthood. What this means is... potentially... the diaconate could now be openned up to women... Huh, go figure! So, it's sort of a "demotion" of the diaconate to the minor orders... but also an openning for women.

Back in the olden days, there were 4 minor orders (cantor was more of an office) and 2 major orders (subdiaconate doesn't really belong to either):
Porter - door keeper
Lector - reader
Exorcist - we know what that is!
Cantor - leader of song
Acolyte - altar server
Subdeacon
Deacon
Priest

Nowadays, women can be ushers (door keepers), lectors, cantors and acolytes... All of those minor orders have been replaced by ministrires that have been openned up to women... So, now we have deacons joining the ranks... potentially...

In another 100 years... who knows what will happen!

Frosty Morning

This morning is a morning of freezing fog. The trees are all decked out in a crisp white coat of hoarfrost, and little pieces of it are still falling. The fog has yet to lift or be burned off, so I'm hoping that I have a little while here to write some blogs before the sun comes out! Once the sun is out, the frost melts pretty quickly and everything goes back to normal. For the moment though, it's a magical world out there, just begging to be walked in and photographed! It's funny how a bit of frost makes everything appear beautiful, even a chainlink fence, even a bicycle rack, even the scrawniest bushes... A bit of frosty coating and all is elegant and gorgeous!


The other thing I've noticed... a long time ago actually, is that everything looks beautiful when it is backlit by the sun and appears as a silhouette. The most deformed tree in full light, looks exotic and gorgeous when backlit by the sun. All the imperfections and the strange shapes blend into something artistsic and abstract. Sort of like us and God. When we're backlit by the divine, we look pretty good! If we were to look at everyone and everything against the backdrop of God... we might have a different view of the world...

Indecisiveness... Dithering... Uncertainty

Call it what you will... hesitation, indecisiveness, dithering, uncertainty... they all seem to be at the root of procrastination. I've been reflecting on what keeps me from doing certain things... And this seems to be the key for some of them... for a lot of them... I'm not sure what to do... or how to do it... or when to do it... So I think that if I just postpone the decision or hte action, then things will get clear for me... I think that somehow "more time" will make everything fall into place.

Well, that doesn't always happen... actually, I'm not sure that it ever happens... I'm waiting for something that might never come... or might never come in the form that I expect it to come. I think that I will get clear... or I think that it is easier to just postpone things... I don't want to handle things in the moment.

Maybe at the root lies a fear that I don't have what it takes. That if I just wait a while, I'll have more knowledge or skill or understanding... and I can handle whatever it is that is coming... I don't really trusst that I have it within me... now... But I would say that on the whole... I do have what it takes, right here, right now...

Putting it off just keeps me stuck... keeps me thinking that at some time "in the future"... all will become clear. I need to act now... with who I am and what I have to offer... right now... Because the future doesn't exist and might never come... So, why not just do it... now?

Getting Going

Back when I was studying in university, I could jump out of bed at 7 am, whip through the shower, get dressed, have breakfast, pack my lunch & bags and be out the door at 7:30... Half an hour for all of that... Now... I get up at 5 am and am lucky if I'm on the go b 8:30 am!! What happened?? Somewhere along the line, I've added a bunch more stuff to my morning routine! Quiet time, prayer time, email viewing time, checking the news time, doing dishes time, eating a more leisurely breakfast time, maybe some exercise time... Wow! I look back on the younger me and wonder how I did it?? Did I not need prayer time or quiet time?? Apparently not... The other option of course, is that time has speeded up as I've gotten older and that's just the way it goes! I actually haven't tried to do the 1/2 hour routine in a long time... Maybe I could still do it?? I suppose I could if I was in a rush but... why rush around I guess... Maybe, as we get older, we get more appreciative of time, and like to enjoy it... take time in the morning to read the paper, or connect with others or just watch the oatmeal in the pot... Maybe all this rush-rush isn't healthy at all! Or maybe it's a game for the young... Not sure... The other thing I've noticed when I get up at 5 am is that I can tend to fritter away time doing nothing... or doing things like surfing the news sites, checking out various global and national happenings. There's nothing wrong with that, but sometimes I'm just idly flipping through websites, knowing I should get up and do something else, but I'm basically just wasting time putting off deciding what I should do next... So I can still waste time!Ah well... it is a learning experience this life!!!

Elders on Equality

Reading an article in the Prairie Messenger about a group of the world's elders speaking up for women's equality! Wow... This group includes, among others, Nelson Mandela, Desmond Tutu, Kofi Annan and Jimmy Carter. They are all retired leaders and now feel that they can speak out on the discrimination of women by religious groups. Quite fascinating. Jimmy Carter, a Baptist, has even left his church over their stance against women leaders. Much of the article centred on the Catholic and Baptist churches, and had a definite American slant, but still... They were convened by Nelson Mandela and have the goal of building peace in the world. They even have a website:
http://www.theelders.org/
You can even sign up to get regular updates... They are currently looking at Cyprus, the Middle East, Zimbabwe, Sudan and Burma... Amazing to think of what could come out of this, when you get a bunch of high-powered, respected people aligned in one direction. Too bad there aren't any ex-bishops in that group... Archbishop Quinn from San Francisco would be a great advocate...

Darkening Skies

Even an hour ago, the sky outside was a brilliant blue, but as the afternoon wanes, the sky has started to darken and get a bit cloudy. After the sunshine of today, we are due for a freezing fog tonight. All of the moisture that evaporated in the warmth of the sun is now held in the atmosphere and will come back down again tonight. For me, it is time to tuck away my laptop and put it in my backpack and hike back to my car. I've decided that driving to the door of Starbucks is not the way to go! So... I've parked a 20 minute walk away and can get my exercise and have my hot chocolate at the same time. Along with the camera tucked in my backpack... I am good to go for all possible eventualities. The darkening skies remind me that it is time to pack up and complete this part of my day... to close my computer and move on to something else. Much as I would like to stay here and blog a bit more... I have also used up my 2 hour time limit for internet access so!!! It is time for something else... to just be and to end the doing for a while. Perhaps to sit in front of a crackling fire in the fireplace and cuddle a cat! If they want to be cuddled mind you... My cuddling schedule and their cuddling schedule do not always align. Mind you, I've learned to accomodate my schedule to theirs! Sometimes, I just need to do that, give up my schedule of how and when things need to be done and just go with the flow. Right now, the flow is saying "get up and walk"!

Freezing Fog

There are very few things more beautiful than waking up in the morning and seeing a world transformed into a magical wonderland by freezing fog. The hoarfrost on the trees can sometimes be a centimetre thick! That sort of a morning just calls to me to grab the camera and get out there and start taking photos. For the frost won't last long in the sunshine... We've had quite a few mornings of freezing fog and I have yet to really embrace the beauty of it and take my camera outside! Partly because the camera batteries weren't charged one morning... and the other morning, my memory stick was full when I got out there to take photos... Sigh... It sort of reminds me of other areas of my life... where my batteries are too low to enjoy something, or my life is too full of other things to allow space for even one more thing. As with memory sticks... we need to be able to go through and delete those things that aren't serving their purpose, or no longer have a hold of us, or no longer give us life and energy. Sort of a life-decluttering. Because they do all suck energy from us... energy that we need to for those areas of our lives that give us life, that fuel our passion. It seems like sometimes I end up adding a heck of a lot of things to my life and my schedule... but don't actually take anything else away! I can't just keep adding and adding... at some point I need to discern whether this thing, this relationship, this activity, really contributes to my life-fulfillment. If it doesn't, then don't add it... and/or go and prune it!

Old Habits

So... given the breakfast conversations of the past couple of blogs... how to change old habits!!?? Although it seems like changing the breakfast eating habits is a relatively smooth transition... the spiritual habits are not so easy for some reason. At the same time, while changing breakfast eating habits is going well, the other eating habits aren't doing so great! There are all sorts of temptations out there, cheezies and chips and chocolate and... The same for spiritual practices... all sorts of temptations to just let the silent meditation go by the board and read the news on the internet or watch TV... or check the mail or do a bunch of other things. It seems like with the spiritual things, time becomes an issue for me, and I decide there are more valuable things to do with my time than those things... With the eating though, it's not a time thing... it's pure and simple gratification... eating something salty or sweet seems to fill a void in my tummy, at least temporarily... Although they don't really fill the void, because my body till wants and needs the nutrition that comes with healthy eating. So, with all the stuff that I do to avoid the meditation... perhaps the same applies. Those activities (watching TV, etc), fill the void in my spiritual life but only temporarily. My body still wants the nourishment that comes with meditation and quiet time... I'm actually starving my spiritual self when I "do" all those frivolous things... but I think that I'm taking care of myself. Nasty!!

So, how to change those old habits? Just get really clear on how screwed up they are? How un-nutritious they are for me? I changed by dental hygiene virtually overnight thanks to a little wake-up call from my dentist. But what sort of wake-up call is there for spiritual malaise?? Or is this it... just my awareness is enough to allow me to step into altering it? If I hold it as all those things that I "do" are attempting to fill a void... but can never manage it... then perhaps that is enough of a kick in the butt for me to change those habits!

Spiritual Breakfast

So, if breakfast is the most important meal of the day (see yesterday's post)... then what is the most important spiritual practice of the day? Is it going to Mass? Is it reading the bible? Is it spending time in quiet? Is it meditating? Is it reading spiritual books? I've tried them all at some point or another. Avoiding some of them for a long time because I had a preconceived notion about them! But... right now, what seems to be grounding me in the day, is spending some time in the morning just being still and watching my breathing and letting the thoughts come and go, but not dwelling on them. It's that time of silence which seems to be rich and fruitful, full of spiritual nutrition! Kind of counter-intuitive actually. You'd think that filling our minds/thoughts with something "uplifiting" and spiritual would be the way to go... And it does have its place, don't get me wrong, but the richness of silence is deeper and more intense than all the other stuff. It's also the first thing to go by the board in the mornings if I'm feeling rushed or stressed.

At this point, I've decided/deduced that a healthy, well-balanced life consists of various things, some of which are:
drinking lots of water (dehydration is a nasty game!)
meditation (10 min?)
exercise (45 min/day 3 to 4 days a week)
healthy eating
balancing work & play
companionship/friends/etc.
For me... and this is just for me... the meditation and exercise go pretty quickly. It takes an awful lot of self-control to keep those in my game plan when things get hectic. The nasty thing is... when I start neglecting them, I get even more frenzied and feel like life is even more out of control! Silly really... and a vicious cycle to be sure...

For me, it is to see the value and the necessity of those things that seem dispensable. For those very things that seem dispensable are the indispensable things...

Breakfast

They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. I can see that... you've just gotten out of bed after fasting for 8 hours or so and it's important to get a good load of fuel in there. For years, my breakfast of champions has been either: peanut butter & jam with toast (2 slices) & a glass of milk or... a bowl of cereal. I can go for months with the same breakfast day after day after day. When I was studying in Edmonton, my landlady was always asking me if there wasn't something else I would like for breakfast other than toast and PB&J... I'd always say I was just fine! And it's true!! This past year though, I've experimented a little bit. For a while I was having a bowl of cottage cheese with walnuts and craisins. I had always avoided cottage cheese because (a) it wobbles, (b) it's white and lumpy, (c) it's sour. Yes, I know... cottage cheese is not sour. But in my mind, it was in the same shaped containers as sour cream, was next to them on the dairy shelf... ergo, it was sour. Anyhow, that little story of mine got blown out of the water. And it's an OK breakfast, if a little expensive and garbage-producing. Those cottage cheese containers, even the 750 ml varieities don't go very far. So, I was going through an awful lot of containers... Which creates waste... sigh! In the last couple of weeks, I've decided to embrace... gulp... oatmeal (ick!). I have never liked oatmeal. Have never tried oatmeal! But never liked it. It's a sight/texture thing for me. It looks like grey-gruel... But it is supposed to be very healthy (whole grains and all that)... so I bit the bullet and bought a 2 kg bag of rolled oats. Once I decide to do something, I do it! So, I figured a 2 kg bag would do me for a while... only $6 too! I have made oatmeal in the past for friends, but this was a new experience... making it for me... After much research on the internet, where I learned that you can put basically anything you want on top of oatmeal, I made my first bowl and used brown sugar and cinnamon. It's actually not half-bad. It was a bit runny but that can be fixed. So, I've experimented over the last few weeks, and am quite taken with it. It takes a bit longer to cook mind you... but in the end it is dirt cheap, sticks to my ribs a bit longer than the other stuff... and it's good for me!

Which just goes to show me that my I need to examine my preconceived notions about all sorts of things... not just breakfast meals... like cottage cheese and oatmeal. I still draw the line at mushrooms though... I've tried them and they texture is absolutely disgusting... But who knows... maybe they just haven't been cooked the right way???? We'll see...

Northern Lights

This week there's a workshop in Yellowknife... the middle of February in Yellowknife. What a great place to be! I've never been to Yellowknife before, nor the NWT. So now, I can add another notch to my belt and add another territory/province to my list... I am looking forward to seeing the northern lights. So, I'm praying for clear, cold weather... and whatever else is necessary for the light show to happen. If I have to get up at 2 am to see them... then I'll do that! So, we'll see how it goes... I've seen them a few times in my life, but very faint and not very spectacular. There's something compelling about them... to think that solar winds in our upper atmosphere can create these amazing paintings of colour, ever changing and ever moving. It makes all of our human endeavours seem kind of small and insignificant... Even fireworks can't compare... So, here's keeping my fingers crossed!!!

Sunday Strolling

Have you ever noticed how our churches are getting emptier on Sundays... and our parks and coffee shops are getting fuller? Intersting isn't it... That people would rather go out for a family walk or bike ride or whatever on a Sunday... than go to Church. Or that people would rather go to a coffee shop and hang out with friends and family and laugh and talk... than go to Church. How did that happen? Didn't Church used to be a community event?? For sure... but somewhere along the line our communities got very big... and people began to feel that they didn't belong. In a city like Calgary, people might live in the SW, commute to downtown where they work, and go to church in the NW. Their neighbours are people they really dont' hang out with. Their co-workers come from all over the city. Their Church has members from all over the place...  And now let's all get together and have a great little community building thing...

Mind you, here in Calgary, the closest thing is the community associations. Every area of Calgary has a community association, something I never encountered in Vancouver. They are very active, most having a newsletter, a community association building, and all sorts of activities that they host and/or sponsor. Sort of getting back to the old neighbourhood concept of urban life...  But churches don't seem to fit into that mold. The people we might meet at Church don't necessarily live in our neighbourhood, or even our area of the city. They don't necessarily work where we work... So we might see them on a Sunday and that's it... No real way to form community there...

How does one form community? Is community bigger and broader than Church... How could Church get out of Church and go out to where the people are? In today's multi-cultural, multi-religious world... how can we bring church into our workplace, where we might work with atheists, buddhists, muslims, hindus, jews, christians etc... Perhaps it's bigger and broader than just bringing one religion or one theology into the workplace... What if it was more like what happens in a hospital, where the chapel is designed for multi-faiths. What if it was more of a space to escape from the hustle and bustle? Most religions can tie into contemplation/meditation/silence... and all speak of the enormous spiritual benefits that come from that... But it's something that we've lost along the way. Always busier and faster and louder and more hectic... Time to stop and decompress and connect with the divine is where we could all connect with each other. Whether it happens outside or in the office. Perhaps the Church needs to transform if it wants to remain relevant to today's society and tomorrow's world... "perhaps"... or "most definitely"!

Pope John Paul II

I don't know if you heard on the news but... apparently JPII engaged in self-flagellation with a belt. I was shocked! I really didn't think that people did that sort of thing. I mean sure, I had see the DaVinci Code and read the book about the Op. Dei organization which supposedly did that... but still. Mind you, at least it wasn't with a metal tipped whip or something. The thinking, as I read it, was that, in flagellating himself, JPII was uniting his sufferings to the sufferings of Christ. The problem I have is this... we have enough suffering in the world without creating more of it! And the idea that our suffering is somehow redemptive, which I know is a big theological doctrine, is beginnning to seem a little off to me. Particularly when we go out and look for suffering.

The other thing that struck me is that... we engage in enough self-flagellation as it is! Self-inflicted, torturous thoughts plague us as we replay our days and our weeks, wondering why we did this stupid thing and not that brilliant thing. We whip ourselves mentally, emotionally and spiritually, creating a huge amount of suffering in our lives. And not only in our lives, but in the lives of others. Anyone who hangs around somehow who self-flagellates, is going to get spattered with blood and guts (figurative!) at some point. Our mood of "woe is me... I am such a bad person"... affects our loved ones and our co-workers... and those we meet in our day-to-day life. Is this self-inflicted mental/emotional/spiritual suffering redemptive as well? Or is it just crazy-making? Does it just create something that is essentially worthless? Why do we beat ourselves up?? And we do it very well! Is it the Catholic/Christian guilt thing? Is it a human condition? Do we doubt our own essential goodness that much? Do we really need to get that twisted out of shape when we make a mistake? Even if we make the mistake over and over again... does beating ourselves up make us better the next time? Some would say yes... that beating a dog or a child can instill changed behaviour... that it is in some way redemptive... "spare the rod... spoil the child". And yet... there's something very off kilter here, something that makes me feel a little ill inside. It doesn't jive with my idea of God... Yes, it is just my idea... but it's all I've got... I don't believe in a God who wants anyone or anything to suffer... Laying that at God's feet, or legitimizing it by saying suffering is redemptive, is a cop-out... and makes suffering acceptable and/or noble. Bull shit... Why don't we just go around creating as much suffering as possible then? For wouldn't that be even more participation in the redemptive suffering of Christ?

The martyr complex really isn't very becoming to us... to who we are as divine children of God... It's a cop-out... and prevents us from fully expressing who we are... Don't you think??

Delayed Post-dating

Ooops! I just looked and I am completely caught up with my post-dated entries! I try to have at least a week's worth of postings scheduled to go... so I'd better get cracking!

I've subscribed to the Prairie Messenger, a Catholic newspaper published in Muenster SK, by the monks of St. Peter's Abbey. It's quite a well-balanced publication, not quite as far out there as the BC Catholic or Western Catholic Reporter. Somehow it has a broader scope of stories as well, not just focussed on the Canadian or Prairie scene.

Anyhow, I have had this newspaper riding around in my book bag for the past week, waiting to be read. Every one in a while at Starbucks, I'll consider pulling it out, but then I don't. But today!! Today is the day, and I've skimmed through the articles to get a sense of what's in there. One article that struck me is by Donald Ward, and relates an experience he had 40 years ago. Someone told a lie about Donald, said that he was in the pscyh ward over the summer, for doing too much LSD. In truth, Donald was away all summer being a summer-camp leader. But when he came back home... all sorts of rumours and exaggerated stories were swirling around about him. Eventually they died down... but even today, 40 years later... it still raises its ugly head sometimes...

Which got me thinking about how gossip, particularly ignorant gossip, can stick worse than mud. It's not just that we are gossiping with the person across from us... For that gossip will go and spread and metamorphose and mutate into something else entirely. Yet, it seems to be one of our favourite pastimes! "Did you hear about so-and-so... oh my God... can you believe it... I heard that..." Yeah, so what. You heard something from someone who heard something, from someone who heard something... Big deal... And even when we think we have the facts straight from the horse's mouth... guess what... it still all gets filtered through our head, through our story, through our ideas and beliefs and judgements and opinions. And it gets editted and reworked until the horse's mouth wouldn't even recognize it as it's own!

The other thing we do is ascribe all sorts of judgements to things that people say... Or we put our own interpretation on what they said or what they did... or what they must be feeling. It's a great way for us to try and create meaning in the world... But, it's "our" meaning... it really has nothing to do with them... or what they're thinking... or what they are feeling... It's just what we think they feel, based on how we think we would feel if we were ever in that sitatuion. Guess what... even if you were in their situation, it's still you in the situation, not them. You, with all of your background, all of your history, all of your stuff. Not them...

It seems to me we could give each other a bit more room to just be... to allow others to just be, without trying to put words and feelings and thoughts on top of what they do or how they are... And if we don't do it to them... maybe they won't do it to us... But it starts with us...

CTE

I was reading something on the news the other day which really disturbed me... it's called CTE... That's Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy... or something like that. It is a repetitive brain trauma that leads to the creation of Tau protein deposits in brain tissue. It is caused by repeated hits to the head... I think this is most common, or most well-known in boxers. But apparently now, they're discovering it in the brains of deceased football players. They were sharing how football players can have 1000s of hits to the head in a year, and that sort of thing is cumulative. Even 18 year old football players have signs of this disease. It causes mood disorders, physical problems etc. The really disturbing thing for me was some clips they showed from youtube... of little 8 year old kids practicing head butting in football practice. Two little guys run at each other, heads down, like two Big Horn Sheep and crack heads. One starts crying and the other walks away rubbing his neck. Now... correct me if I'm wrong... but is there something "off" with this??? We're creating a whole generation of boys and men with brain damage... that is wholly preventable!!! They're talking about changing the rules of football, so that they can only do a 2-point stance at scrimmage... instead of a 3-point stance... so they get less leverage as they charge at each other... But still... And yet, something in me knows that this won't change... People really believe that it won't happen to "me"... and... so it continues....

Writing Music

I broke down a bought a Writer's Digest magazine the other day. It has all sorts of ideas on how to jump-start your writing muse. One of them is using music to inspire you! I already knew about that one... I use music all the time... It helps me to shift out of my thoughts and into something else, a more fluid stream of consciousness and thoughts. Mind you, not all music does this for me... There is some music that just gets me stuck! But there is definitely some music that carries the writer... at least me... to higher planes. And that is a good thing. Obviously, as well, not an uncommon thing. I actually felt kind of satisfied to know that I had discovered something on my own that others knew as well. It makes me think that some of my other crazy thoughts aren't quite so crazy! You know how with sculptors, they say that they can actually see the image before them, in this shapeless mass of rock. All they have to do is uncover it. There is inspiration at work there. Sometimes, it feels to me as if I all I have to do is put my fingers on the keyboard and the words will come of their own accord. I just have to uncover them and give them space to live and breathe. I've read somewhere, that the things that we write in that place of inspiration are coming from somewhere else, the universal consciousness, if you want to call it that. It's where everything actually comes from. That the books or articles are waiting out there, just waiting to be given life... millions and billions of them... and we just have to give them the conduit. It's interesting don't you think that more than one person discovered evolution around the same time... Charles Darwin, whom we've all heard of and...check out Alfred Russel Wallace, who got the bright idea in 1855 and started publishing papers... This is just one example of similar ideas/theories appearing around the same time... Lots in the world of physics surprisingly enough... So... whatever bright idea you have... get it out and about before somebody else does!

Writing Spots

Well, I bit the bullet the other day and went and got a library card. It costs $12 here in Calgary... I dont' remember having to pay in other places but?? Who knows. Anyhow, it's a good deal for a year's worth of access to books and dvds and wireless! Yup, they have free wireless access if you bring in your laptop... So I've decided that this could my next cheaper, leaner place to go and blog or write. At least in the winter-time. In the summertime I can always go outside and take my bike and laptop and go and find a nice little park bench or picnic table somewhere! The potentials are endless, but here in the wintertime, it needs to be somewhere indoors. With Starbucks, I also feel like I need to buy something when I come in here. I can't just waltz in and sit down at a table and start typing and using their wireless! Well, I could... but I'm not sure how long that would last. The other great thing is that I have my iPod and I can bring whatever background music I want with me... Right now, I'm listening to Hooked on Swing... Usually Starbucks has some of those older styled songs (Fred Astaire, Frank Sinatra, etc)... but today, that's not on the menu, so... I bring my own... I just have to get creative in my writing opportunities! There are probably many more places I could go to type away... I was thinking it might be cool to take my laptop to the Glenbow museum and see what I could find to write about there! I'm trying to think of inside places that are free to access (don't have to buy anything)... Mind you, I would have to pay an admission fee to the Glenbow... Hmm... how about community centres??? Anybody have any ideas out there?? There is the Farmer's Market... if you can get a table to sit at... I'm pretty close to the Military Museums... but probably admission there as well... Let me know if any of you have any bright ideas!

Photos

Digital photography... a great invention!!! I think... It used to be this way. I would buy some film, take some photos, being careful to just take good ones... get the photos developed and printed... label them and then put them in a photo album, which would then sit on a shelf. I might take it off the shelf every once in a while to look at it or show to other people... Now, I know that some people just get the photos developed and put them in a shoebox... but the idea is similar...

Today though... we have a one-time cost of a memory stick... and then we take photos galore... because we can always delete the bad ones... download them to our computer... organize them and tag them (some people don't do this step)... and then they sit there... Maybe we make a photo book or a slide-show cd... or send a few to relatives... But for the most part... the photos sit in our computer... never being looked at again.

So, say, in the olden days... I went on a trip to San Francisco and burned up 5 rolls of film. I come home and get them developed and can then put them in a photo album... Think of the costs involved:
Film - $10/roll = $50
Developing - $15/roll = $75
Photo album - $20/album - $20
Total cost - give or take - $150 (or so)

Today... with digital...
Memory Stick - $20 (maybe... and it's reusable over and over gain... so really only $1 for this trip)
Photo Book - $50 (and that is generous!)
Total Cost - $51

Taking photos and displaying them today is way... WAY... cheaper than before... so why don't we do it anymore??? Too many photos to sift through??? I'm not sure... but if anybody has a different cost analysis... let me know! Because it seems like we should have photo books from Shutterfly or Kodak or Snapfish all over the place... And yet we don't... or at least... I don't!

What's in your backpack...

We went to see a movie the other week... Up in the Air... I think it was called, with George Clooney. He is a "firing-specialist" who flies all around the country going to companies that are downsizing and doing the firing for them. He's away from his one bedroom apartment for 320 days out of the year. Along the way, he does motivational talks called "What's in your backpack...", getting people to get a sense of what is weighing them down in life... family, friends, possessions, houses, etc. And then encouraging them to imagine what it would be like to have an empty backpack... like he does! He has very little contact with his extended family and he likes it that way. Nothing to tie him down...

And I thought about what was in my backpack... so to speak. All of the things that I have/own/need to take care of... People... Projects... Thoughts... Ideas... Dreams... There is a certain freedom in thinking of being foot-loose and fancy free... but also a certain loneliness... And while George's character had gone to one end of the spectrum, with virtually nothing in his backpack... the answer probably lies somewhere in the middle. Because, the truth is, we often do have way too much stuff and things in our lives... I have travelled to Europe with just a backpack (a small one) for 5 weeks... and there is a certain freedom in travelling so light. Only 3 changes of clothes and doing laundry when needed. But... Yeah... but... There are also many things that I have on the go... projects of mine... family tree stuff and photo books and other things. And then I begin to wonder... how many things am I holding onto that I say "I'll get around to that some day"... and deep down, I know that I probably never will... But I still cart this stuff around... thinking that someday I can give it away to somebody or make some money off it... But is that really the case?? Maybe I just need to get ruthless with all those little things that are hanging around and finally just let go of them... Not everything mind you... I do enjoy the family tree research immensely... it gives me energy! But, there are other things that don't give me energy! So... to take a look at see what's up... and what is not... and what can be let go...

Toilet Troubles

Our downstairs toilet got plugged a week or so ago... It was draining, but very slowly, and even after buying a plunger and trying that... it was still clogger. So, I called the plumber who came over and used a rod with a coiled clog-buster on the end of it, and rammed it down through the toilet guts... Nothing... Still clogger. So, then he pulled the toilet and got a longer cable/coil with a hand-drill to twist it and drive it through the pipes... After a while, he pulled it out along with several very old and very icky looking... tampons. Yep... feminine hygience products. He tells me that these are the most common things he pulls out of clogged pipes... tampson. But they're flushable I sqawk! Or at least, so the packages say! Nope, he says... one of the worst things to put down your toilet... along with dental floss... and kitty litter. Dental floss, I can see, would form a nice little web down the pipes if it were to get hooked on things, plus it does NOT decay. Kitty litter with clay would eventually clog things too... And tampons, well, they don't decompose either and they've got string and they get really big when they're all full of water/liquid. So... how is it that tampon companies say that they are flushable... and plumbing companies say they are not??? Who are we to believe! Well... who knows pipes best? Tampax or plumbers?? OB or plumbers? Kotex or plumbers? Yeah... plumbers win out every time... And as for those flushable panty-liners/pads... etc... don't!!! Maybe if you life in a huge office building with 7 inch pipes... but not in a house/condo with 3 or 4 inch pipes... Don't even think about it... Not unless you want a $300 plumbing bill every year or so... A high cost for a bit of convenience and lack of ickiness... But get this... how icky is it to see a male plumber pulling old tampons out of your pipes??? Your choice!