Seeking Inspiration

Part of my issue with writing is that I feel, sometimes, like I have nothing to write about. I need a subject, something that will give me focus. As I sit here, staring into space, I can see all sorts of things around me, but I don't think I can write about any of them, so I just sit here and don't write! Sigh... I do much better when I have a topic, and I guess it is for me to break through and see potential topics everywhere... but do I trust my ability to write that much?

There is a glass door to the outside near me and the guy with the dog, has the dog tied up next to it. The dog likes to lie against the door and try to keep at least one side of himself wind-free. Every once in a while though, the wind rattles the door and the poor dog jumps up and looks at it because he thinks someone is coming outside... No such luck. He does havea  very woe-be-gone face and although I can see his puppy-dog eyes, his owner can't. I don't think I'd be able to sit in view of my dog, all nice and toasty warm, having him or her watch me and knowing that outside it is blustery and cold!! I'd want to sneak the dog inside! Ah well...

So, perhaps my next project here will be to just write about the paint colour on the walls or something! We'll see how it goes tomorrow...

Starbucks at 5:30 am

I'm kind of surprised to see how many people are here on an early weekday morning! Somehow I have this notion that most people don't get up all that early and yet... There are a number of people here, some of them already regulars... There's me of course, and the baristas are already starting to chat a bit more with me, even after just 3 visits. Then there is the older gentleman with the ball cap. He leaves his dog outside and then comes in to read the morning paper and sip some sort of coffee drink. He's been here every morning I've been here... and probably on the mornings when I haven't been here! Then there is a guy from the parish I used to attend. He seems to just sit and stare into space and watch people as he sips his drink. Perhaps this is is his contemplation time? And a couple of others, whom I haven't seen here before... but I suppose they could be regulars... I'd have to be here longer to find out!

I could see how a little community could begin to form here. Most places we go, we never see the same people again... Whether it's Safeway or a coffee shop... or the bank. Even some of the tellers or checkout people I don't recognize all that much. Maybe because I don't go often enough? Here, if I were to come every day... I could see that familiar faces would start to appear. And familiarity is what creates the potential for connection and the potential for friendship. If all we ever see every day is strangers... well... the odds of connecting with strangers is pretty slim. But if we develop a routine and encounter others with a similar routine... well, who knows!

Somehow though... even with the routine, we don't always make the connection. At Sobey's, for example, there are very regular checkout faces, the same girls/women over and over again. And yet the opportunity for connection is minimal... at least that's my story! I think someone else, who is much more outgoing, could connect with them far more easily. Or perhaps it's not even "easily"... perhaps it is just that I need to make an effort to connect, to reach out... If I keep waiting for others to reach out... and they are waiting for me to reach out... well, it could be a while before anybody connects with anybody!

Four Agreements

A few years ago I read a book by Don Miguel Ruiz called The Four Agreements. He's one of those Toltec wisdom people and spirituality writers. The four agreements are amazingly simple and are basically this:

1. Be Impeccable with your Word
2. Don't make Assumptions
3. Don't take things personally
4. Always do your best

He says that living any one of them can transform your life, but that the first three, while quite simple, are very difficult. The fourth one though is easily within our reach... and also has the power to transform our lives. Always doing my best means doing it with everything that I have and everything that I am. It means that I don't settle for second-best effort. That I am always putting my all into things. That I am being wholehearted. Now, that is pretty much how I do live my life... mostly...

The other three are a work in progress... more later!

Bible Blog

I've been desperately trying to get a few days ahead on my bible blog, being involved with a workshop at the moment... And not doing too badly. I am more than halfway through Leviticus and finding that it not quite the fearsome read that I thought! I was worried I might not find anything to post about... or not find any insights into a book that is so... deadly boring! But, it is working out quite well. And it is challenging me to look again at some of my own prejudices and the things in my life that separate me from others.

This morning, I am sitting in Starbucks and having a great time. I thought it only openned at 6 am or 7 am, but it opens at 5:30 am on weekdays! So, I could come here most mornings and happily blog away while the rest of the world slumbers on. I do find these early morning hours to be very productive. All the world is quiet and I can think and write and just allow the words to flow out! Not to mention, sip on a yummy hot chocolate! That is one of the perks of coming here... along with 2 hours of free wireless access... it is a match made in heaven. And their background music is pretty good... Right now it is... Bing Crosby??? You know the song... "Heaven, I'm in heaven".... or it could be Fred Astaire or Frank Sinatra... one of those crooners! Fairly good music to write to, which is nice... I also just noticed that there are plugs here in Starbucks, so I could plug my laptop in next time and not run my battery into the ground... Something to think about!

Remind me of the Right Questions!

Clearly I need to review the Right Questions often!!! Today, I had many opportunities to use the right questions, and make the right choices and I didn't. I chose to do things that weren't always in line with my own highest interests, but chose things that would please others or make their life easier. So, for me there is this struggle. Am I doing something because it will be "good" for me... or because it will make someone else happy. So, once again, I am reminded that it is for me to make the choice... to stand up for myself and to choose what will fulfill me and move me forward. Hard to do sometimes... Hard to say "no" for me... Much easier in the moment to go with the flow... and yet afterwards I am kicking myself and feeling like crap. And it seems that it is becoming more connected... more noticeable. So the more disconnected I am from myself, the more connected I am to that disconnect! I can't hide from the unfulfilling aspects of my poor choices... they are coming out more and more strongly... Almost like I am developing a more balanced polarity of the fulfilling and the unfulfilling... I think many of us live our lives in that middle zone... where there isn't too much happening, no wild extremes... no great "ah-hah, eureka" moments, but not a lot of "in the depths of despair" moments either... We just go through life, pretending that we can have things run off of our backs like water off of a duck... We say "whatever" and pretend that we are moving on... But are we really? Or are we stuck in the doldrums of the middle... where not much happens...

Forest Elephants

I was watching a 60 minutes show a few days ago and they had a piece on a scientist named Andrea Turkalo who is studying forest elephants in the Congo Basin. They are doing research on mapping out the elephant language and say that it is very complex. I learned a few things about elephants that surprised me. They showed a little clip where a baby elephant had died and several elephants kept trying to revive the little guy. Eventually, faced with its death, the elephants formed a procession to pass by the dead elephant, gently touch it and then utter some noises. They will even bury the elephant under grasses and branches. Each elephant did this and the researchers were comparing it with a funeral procession. Piqued by this, I did a bit of research (wikipedia!) and apparently elephants are very high on the intelligence, self-awareness, altruism and emotional scale. They are comparable with primates. Which makes me wonder... how is that we continue to see ourselves, as humans, as somehow above and beyond the "animal kingdom". Over and over again we are faced with evidence that we are not the only self-aware beings in the world... and yet we continue to act as if we are the only ones that matter. Perhaps the elephants have something to teach us?

Coaches

I don't have anything as formal as a personal life coach, but I am clear that I need to seek advice and inspiration from sources outside myself. I read somewhere that coaches can come in various forms. They could be people I meet along the path... or they could be people I never meet... books I read, inspirational quotes that cross my path at opportune times. I am finding that coaches come in a variety of guises and it is exciting to see how they all start to point in the same direction. Many of the books I read are beginning to say the same things but in a slightly different way. And it is eye-opening and excitiing and scarey at the same time. It all makes sense at a very deep level and yet some of the stuff challenges widely held cultural beliefs that we have held for many years. Are we on the edge of a new humanity? Are we shifting to something else? Is our world being called to radically alter itself in order to avoid catastrophe? And who has the power to create that transformation? Ultimately we do... and yet if we stay stuck in our smallness... we will achieve nothing. So, it is for us to let go of the smallness, of all that separates us from God, from self, from others and from creation. Anything that serves to divide us is clearly not creating the future... just keeping the past stuck and perpetuating more of the same. For anything new to occur, we must be open to having our minds, our hearts, our spirits openned to possibilities that we would never have considered before...