So, how is my relationship with Starbucks hot chocolate? Well... there's been a bit of back-sliding. I had sort of thought that I would treat myself to a hot chocolate on the weekends (Saturday AND Sunday)... but it is a Tuesday and here I sit guiltily sipping a hot chocolate. Today's hot chocolate was a free one - an earned reward, but still. I am over my monthly limit.
As for the home-made hot chocolate... they definitely fill the void except... some days I have two of them! I think that I was planning to wean myself off hot chocolate during February and March. Well... I can say, February wasn't much of a weaning month!
I do notice that if I don't have my hot chocolate in the morning, I tend to be a bit cranky and have a headache that starts to develop. Ahhh... the joys of caffeine withdrawal. It reminds me of the days when I drank Coca Cola every day, several times a day. I went off the cola several times but never stayed away for long. Until I finally called it quits in 2009 and went cold turkey. The first year was tough but now I hardly think about it. I think I have finally kicked the cola habit. But... I'm wondering if I am not built for the weaning-method. Maybe I just need to quit the hot chocolate cold-turkey and call it quits for good. Which would mean I would lose my Starbucks time, which I genuinely like on the weekends. A dilemma...
I will see how March plays out... perhaps the trick is to wean myself off the weekday hot chocolates and leave the weekend ones in place. It's kind of annoying to be at the mercy of chocolate and sugar. I am a human being... I should be able to make these choices. Shouldn't I?
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Saturday, February 21, 2015
My Fickle Relationship with Time
Time. It's a four-letter word. Some see it as a nasty word. Others see it as a word full of promise and possibilities. We all have a relationship with time, a relationship that is as individual and varied as each person. No other person can understand your relationship with time.
Myself... well, I've had a tumultuous relationship with time. There are periods where time and I get along quite fine. We work in harmony and I feel as if time is on my side. We are pulling in the same direction and things are getting done at an amazing rate. There are, however, other periods where time and I seem to work at cross-purposes. I sit and procrastinate. I fritter away long periods of time doing absolutely nothing of value. Time gets bored with me and flies away and I am left at the end of the day with nothing to show for my activity.
Case in point, I have been sitting here for about an hour (at my favourite Starbucks), waiting for inspiration to strike me. I have read the news, scanned my Feedly articles, researched a variety of odd topics and been left bereft of any topic.
I feel out of sorts. I know that this past week was not a productive one, at least in the field of writing. I did get a few other things done in other fields but... the writing is where I get stuck. When I get stuck with writing... other areas of my life grind to a halt as well. My to-do list, postponed from one day to the next gets longer and longer. I try to tackle the small things, but even those seem to take an inordinate amount of time. Time and I are working in different directions. I don't trust time. I am fearful of what will transpire if I give myself up to the writing. As a result, time turns up its nose at me, frustrated with my lack of purpose. It falls through my fingers, pooling on the floor and seeping into the cracks, never to be regained.
Time is a funny thing. It's not like money or material goods. We can't save it and hoard it for a future when it will be in short supply. We are given our daily dose of time, so much and no more. And yet time is a relative thing. From one day to the next, time can pass with dazzling speed or meander at a sedate pace. It is all in my perspective. Time doesn't really change... it is my perception of time that alters. I control time. Whether I choose to or not. My attitude, my mood, my feelings - all contribute to my sense of time.
If I believe a task will be onerous, I postpone it. I procrastinate. I put it off from one day to the next, from one week to the next. But while a task may be off my immediate to-do list, it is not off my mental radar. I know it is there, waiting for me in the future, ready to pounce. It saps my energy. The days and weeks pass and I devote hours and days to worrying about the task.
The ridiculous thing is that when I actually buckle down and tackle the task, I find it might take 5 or 10 minutes to complete. But how many untold minutes have I worried about the task? How much energy has been sapped from my psyche by this uncompleted task?
For months... since August actually, I have wanted to connect with the writer of a German book. I have postponed that task innumerable times, always with a variety of excuses. I didn't have her email address. My German was too sketchy to write. I didn't know what to say. A few days ago, I sat down, typed in her name and the title of the book. I found the publisher's website (which I had done months ago as well). I found the Contact Us page and wrote a two-line email to the publisher asking that they pass my email along to the author. I gave a one line synopsis of my interest in her book. Hit Send. Done. Total task time - 3 minutes. Total pysche time - months. ***head thumps down on desk***
I know this. I know this is how I operate. I know that incomplete tasks sap my energy. I know that unanswered emails drain my attention. Yet, I continue to sit and ignore them. It's too hard. I don't know what to say. It will be too complicated. It will take too long. And so I check the online news... or do some research... or tidy the house. Why??
There have been studies done on the benefits of delayed gratification. Sit a child down in front of a marshmallow. Tell the child that if they can wait 5 minutes before eating the marshmallow, they will get a second marshmallow. Watch what child does. Some children are great at delayed gratification. They wait for 5 minutes and happily walk away with two marshmallows. These same children go on to succeed in various areas of life. Other children can't wait. They figure that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. So they eat the first marshmallow. These children tend to struggle later in life. I am great at delayed gratification. But I wonder... would the same work for delayed "struggle".
I think that a task is going to be a struggle, so rather than tackle it, I postpone the struggle. I think that maybe it will get better with time (not true). I think that I will be better prepared in a day, a week, a month (not true). I think that I can't handle the struggle right now, so it would be better to handle it later. It's the reverse of the gratification scenario. I think it will be better in the future, but it really isn't. And in the meantime... I worry about the task, I mentally review the task, I postpone the task. See? I control time.
Myself... well, I've had a tumultuous relationship with time. There are periods where time and I get along quite fine. We work in harmony and I feel as if time is on my side. We are pulling in the same direction and things are getting done at an amazing rate. There are, however, other periods where time and I seem to work at cross-purposes. I sit and procrastinate. I fritter away long periods of time doing absolutely nothing of value. Time gets bored with me and flies away and I am left at the end of the day with nothing to show for my activity.
Case in point, I have been sitting here for about an hour (at my favourite Starbucks), waiting for inspiration to strike me. I have read the news, scanned my Feedly articles, researched a variety of odd topics and been left bereft of any topic.
I feel out of sorts. I know that this past week was not a productive one, at least in the field of writing. I did get a few other things done in other fields but... the writing is where I get stuck. When I get stuck with writing... other areas of my life grind to a halt as well. My to-do list, postponed from one day to the next gets longer and longer. I try to tackle the small things, but even those seem to take an inordinate amount of time. Time and I are working in different directions. I don't trust time. I am fearful of what will transpire if I give myself up to the writing. As a result, time turns up its nose at me, frustrated with my lack of purpose. It falls through my fingers, pooling on the floor and seeping into the cracks, never to be regained.
Time is a funny thing. It's not like money or material goods. We can't save it and hoard it for a future when it will be in short supply. We are given our daily dose of time, so much and no more. And yet time is a relative thing. From one day to the next, time can pass with dazzling speed or meander at a sedate pace. It is all in my perspective. Time doesn't really change... it is my perception of time that alters. I control time. Whether I choose to or not. My attitude, my mood, my feelings - all contribute to my sense of time.
If I believe a task will be onerous, I postpone it. I procrastinate. I put it off from one day to the next, from one week to the next. But while a task may be off my immediate to-do list, it is not off my mental radar. I know it is there, waiting for me in the future, ready to pounce. It saps my energy. The days and weeks pass and I devote hours and days to worrying about the task.
The ridiculous thing is that when I actually buckle down and tackle the task, I find it might take 5 or 10 minutes to complete. But how many untold minutes have I worried about the task? How much energy has been sapped from my psyche by this uncompleted task?
For months... since August actually, I have wanted to connect with the writer of a German book. I have postponed that task innumerable times, always with a variety of excuses. I didn't have her email address. My German was too sketchy to write. I didn't know what to say. A few days ago, I sat down, typed in her name and the title of the book. I found the publisher's website (which I had done months ago as well). I found the Contact Us page and wrote a two-line email to the publisher asking that they pass my email along to the author. I gave a one line synopsis of my interest in her book. Hit Send. Done. Total task time - 3 minutes. Total pysche time - months. ***head thumps down on desk***
I know this. I know this is how I operate. I know that incomplete tasks sap my energy. I know that unanswered emails drain my attention. Yet, I continue to sit and ignore them. It's too hard. I don't know what to say. It will be too complicated. It will take too long. And so I check the online news... or do some research... or tidy the house. Why??
There have been studies done on the benefits of delayed gratification. Sit a child down in front of a marshmallow. Tell the child that if they can wait 5 minutes before eating the marshmallow, they will get a second marshmallow. Watch what child does. Some children are great at delayed gratification. They wait for 5 minutes and happily walk away with two marshmallows. These same children go on to succeed in various areas of life. Other children can't wait. They figure that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. So they eat the first marshmallow. These children tend to struggle later in life. I am great at delayed gratification. But I wonder... would the same work for delayed "struggle".
I think that a task is going to be a struggle, so rather than tackle it, I postpone the struggle. I think that maybe it will get better with time (not true). I think that I will be better prepared in a day, a week, a month (not true). I think that I can't handle the struggle right now, so it would be better to handle it later. It's the reverse of the gratification scenario. I think it will be better in the future, but it really isn't. And in the meantime... I worry about the task, I mentally review the task, I postpone the task. See? I control time.
Sunday, February 15, 2015
The Most Mysterious Thing - a Thought
Scientists say that the average person has about 60,000 thoughts in a typical day. If you remove your sleeping hours... that means you're having about one thought every second. Scientists also say that most of the thoughts that we have are repeat thoughts, from the last minute, last hour, last day, last week. What scientists have yet to figure out is this... what exactly is a thought?
We sort of know the mechanisms of a thought - little synapses deep in our brain fire off electrical signals. But that doesn't answer the question - what is a thought? Is it a wave? A field? Energy? In which physical realm do they operate - Newtonian physics or Quantum physics?
Most of us seem to believe that our thoughts happen in our heads, in our brains. We think a thought and we might then express that thought verbally or in writing. Or maybe not. We treat our thoughts like they are our own. After all, they are happening in our heads, so they must belong to us, right? Well... maybe.
What if your brain is like a radio station, generating its own programming (thoughts). When you are young, you have a lot of people who come along and do guest shows on your station - your parents, your teachers, society, culture, advertisers, television programs, religions. Your thoughts/programming are shaped by what these people/organizations/influences bring to you. You develop a playlist of thoughts, some are empowering, some not so much. You don't even question some of these thoughts - they are so much a part of who you are. You listen to your thoughts and the programming becomes deeper and more settled. Since all of these playlists happen within the context of your mind/brain/station... you think they are yours. But what if there is interference?
What if... other people have brains/minds/stations that operate on a similar frequency to yours? What if thoughts are energy? What if... just like radio waves... they can be picked up by others who are tuned to a similar frequency? We've all had rogue thoughts race through our heads. Crazy thoughts. Weird thoughts. Scary thoughts. "What the heck? Where did that come from?" Most times we don't pay these thoughts any mind, other than to wonder where they came from. But sometimes, we stop and look at them more closely. We begin to wonder why we would have such a bad thought. We start to question ourselves. After all, the thought was in our head, so we must have generated it. It's a bad thought... so it must mean we are a bad person. If we fixate on the thought long enough, we might even act on the thought. But... what if the thought wasn't even ours to begin with? What if it was a bit of interference from someone else's thought patterns?
Maybe the people we would label schizophrenics are simply highly sensitive receiving stations for thoughts. Instead of finding external solutions (drugs) for an internal issue, we should put our research dollars into finding internal solutions.
Just because we have a thought, doesn't mean we have to own it. Whether we generate it or not. A thought is simply a thought. Many of our thoughts are simply habits. We think the same thought often enough and it becomes a habitual pattern. Nobody loves me. I don't matter. Life sucks. We all have playlists of thoughts - some empowering... some not so much. Maybe we could change the playlist.
Some would say that Western Society has explored the Outer World while Eastern Society has explored the Inner World. Perhaps it is time for us in the West to explore within rather than without. Star Trek claimed that outer space was the Final Frontier. The truth is that inner space is the Final Frontier. And it is the one what we shy away from the most.
We sort of know the mechanisms of a thought - little synapses deep in our brain fire off electrical signals. But that doesn't answer the question - what is a thought? Is it a wave? A field? Energy? In which physical realm do they operate - Newtonian physics or Quantum physics?
Most of us seem to believe that our thoughts happen in our heads, in our brains. We think a thought and we might then express that thought verbally or in writing. Or maybe not. We treat our thoughts like they are our own. After all, they are happening in our heads, so they must belong to us, right? Well... maybe.
What if your brain is like a radio station, generating its own programming (thoughts). When you are young, you have a lot of people who come along and do guest shows on your station - your parents, your teachers, society, culture, advertisers, television programs, religions. Your thoughts/programming are shaped by what these people/organizations/influences bring to you. You develop a playlist of thoughts, some are empowering, some not so much. You don't even question some of these thoughts - they are so much a part of who you are. You listen to your thoughts and the programming becomes deeper and more settled. Since all of these playlists happen within the context of your mind/brain/station... you think they are yours. But what if there is interference?
What if... other people have brains/minds/stations that operate on a similar frequency to yours? What if thoughts are energy? What if... just like radio waves... they can be picked up by others who are tuned to a similar frequency? We've all had rogue thoughts race through our heads. Crazy thoughts. Weird thoughts. Scary thoughts. "What the heck? Where did that come from?" Most times we don't pay these thoughts any mind, other than to wonder where they came from. But sometimes, we stop and look at them more closely. We begin to wonder why we would have such a bad thought. We start to question ourselves. After all, the thought was in our head, so we must have generated it. It's a bad thought... so it must mean we are a bad person. If we fixate on the thought long enough, we might even act on the thought. But... what if the thought wasn't even ours to begin with? What if it was a bit of interference from someone else's thought patterns?
Maybe the people we would label schizophrenics are simply highly sensitive receiving stations for thoughts. Instead of finding external solutions (drugs) for an internal issue, we should put our research dollars into finding internal solutions.
Just because we have a thought, doesn't mean we have to own it. Whether we generate it or not. A thought is simply a thought. Many of our thoughts are simply habits. We think the same thought often enough and it becomes a habitual pattern. Nobody loves me. I don't matter. Life sucks. We all have playlists of thoughts - some empowering... some not so much. Maybe we could change the playlist.
Some would say that Western Society has explored the Outer World while Eastern Society has explored the Inner World. Perhaps it is time for us in the West to explore within rather than without. Star Trek claimed that outer space was the Final Frontier. The truth is that inner space is the Final Frontier. And it is the one what we shy away from the most.
Friday, February 13, 2015
The Flip-side of a Placebo
Our thoughts create our reality.
That's a pretty potent statement. Some might agree. Some might disagree.
How about this one:
Our beliefs create our reality.
Different? Or similar to the first statement? Do you agree or disagree?
Gandhi famously said:
In which case, beliefs and thoughts are inextricably linked. What we believe about the world, about our reality, influences what we think about the world. If we believe the world is a dangerous place, we will think "danger". We will speak "danger". We will act as if "danger" is everywhere. We will value security above all else. We will become cautious and distrustful of others. Look around and see if that isn't the case with people that you know.Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.
But do our thoughts and/or beliefs really create our reality? Good question. Let's take a look.
So, everyone (I hope) has heard of a placebo. During medical trials of new drugs, physicians will give some patients the new drug while other patients will be given a placebo. The placebo is an inert pill that will cause no benefit to the patient. It's sometimes called a sugar pill but... obviously in a study of diabetics, a sugar pill would not be a placebo! The doctors don't know whether patients are getting the real drug or the placebo. The patients don't know either. The pills look exactly the same. The placebo group is supposed to be the control group - a baseline against which the benefits of the real drug can be measured. The patients receiving the placebo shouldn't see any benefit from the pill that they receive. Except funny things happen with placebos. Placebo patients often DO improve. They are exhibiting the placebo effect, a well-known phenomenon that happens when patients receiving the placebo believe that they are getting the real drug and... see an improvement.
All well and good. Now for the kicker. How many of us have heard of a nocebo? A what?
A nocebo is something that should be ineffective (like a placebo) but which causes symptoms of ill health (the reverse of a placebo). It's like the bad cousin of the placebo. For example, patients might be given a pill and told about some of the nasty side-effects that they might experience. After taking the pill, the patients develop the side-effects. Except... the pill was actually inert. It was a nocebo. The patients believed that side-effects could develop and they did.
Which leads to some rather startling ideas. What we believe or think really does make a difference in our own health. Which isn't actually a new idea. Take a look through the four Gospels and count the number of times that Jesus healed someone and said to them "Go, your faith has made you well." But wait a minute... wasn't it Jesus and his faith that healed people? Apparently not.
Take a look at Mark 6:1-6 where Jesus visited his hometown. They weren't the most receptive crowd and he could do no miracles there, except heal a few people. He was amazed at their lack of faith (unbelief). Same story told a bit differently in Matthew 13:58 - "And he did not do many miracles there because of their unbelief". In Luke 8:43-48, we hear of a woman who snuck up to Jesus through the crowd and touched the hem of his cloak without any overt action on his part. She believed that if she touched his cloak, she would be healed. And she was.
Which makes me wonder. What are my beliefs about health and life? Some people believe that the new smart electricity metres emit radiation which harms their health. And they develop symptoms. Other do not believe the metres are harmful. And don't develop symptoms.
We are told so many things in our lives. About the world. About ourselves. Some things we believe. Others we do not. Doctors tell us that we have a chronic illness - mental or physical. We believe them. We buy into that belief and we think the thoughts that go with that. What if we believed differently? What if we thought differently?
What about our collective beliefs and thoughts? If we collectively buy into the belief that the world is going to heck in a handbasket, what do you think will happen? What if we believed differently? What if we thought differently. What if we acted differently.
We might just change the world.
(Check out this BBC article for more info on nocebos)
Sunday, February 8, 2015
Living in Proaction... rather than Reaction
I have been known to create words on occasion. That's the beauty of the English language. If the word you want doesn't exist, just make it up. Sometimes I pick up archaic or obscure words along the way, and get accused of making up words. My friends and families sometimes question my use of words - "it's not a real word"! I would reply with... "What is a "real" word?"
In coming up with the title for this post, I thought that Proaction was a nice opposite to Reaction. I know that proactive pairs with reactive, so figured that proaction would work in this context. After a bit of research, I am happy to say that Proaction is a "real" word.
Proaction is defined as: action that initiates change as opposed to reaction to events.
Which makes sense. When we are in reaction, we are reacting to events around us. Someone cuts us off in traffic and we react with a swear word or a fist shake. A job ad is posted in the newspaper and we react by submitting an application. We get a tickle in our throat and we react by drinking water.
Our reactions are triggered by events outside of us. Pretty simple really. Our reactions are usually conditioned habits or instinctive responses, in which choice plays a very small role. We bounce up against people and situations and live in a state of constant reaction. But it gets a bit tiring after a while. I guess my question is... is that a efficient, productive, satisfying, healthy way to live life?
What would it be like if we lived a life in proaction, instead of reaction? What would that look like? The definition of proaction would suggest that we take action which initiates change in our lives. Instead of our lives being dictated by external events, our lives would be dictated by us.
We would drink more water - not because our throats are dry or we have a tickle - but because we know that drinking water is healthy.
We wouldn't wait for a job ad to be posted, but we would do research into a business that matches our interests and skills and submit an employment proposal to them.
We wouldn't wait for life to come to us. We would go out and meet life head-on.
I realize that many of the career choices I have made have been out of reaction rather than proaction. I got a high mark on the BC Provincial Exams in geology - so went into geology, despite the fact that originally I was looking at a career in Fish & Wildlife. I went for a post-graduate degree because someone suggested it would be a good idea. I slid over into forestry because an acquaintance offered me a job. All of these decisions were made out of reaction. I was drifting with the flow of life, but not really seizing the day.
In many ways, I have abdicated responsibility for my career(s). Yes, I chose to accept those offers, but the offers were made first. I responded to an action/event. I didn't initiate it. And therein lies the rub. Do I want to continue to live my life that way? It's certainly easy... but it is also, in the long run, stressful. I have given control of my destiny to others, rather than seizing it for myself.
Part of the problem lies in in the fact that I excel in so many areas of life/skills. Others look at me, see what I am capable of and say "you would be perfect in this career". I go along with that, but the career is not really a fit for me. I am not passionate about it. I have made a decision out of reaction, not proaction.
Which leads me to this... if I am going to live my life out of proaction, I actually need to DO something. I need to "take action" to "initiate change" in my life. If I want to be a writer... then I need to write. And market my writing. And send out queries to publishers. And develop a social media profile that promotes me and my work.
In coming up with the title for this post, I thought that Proaction was a nice opposite to Reaction. I know that proactive pairs with reactive, so figured that proaction would work in this context. After a bit of research, I am happy to say that Proaction is a "real" word.
Proaction is defined as: action that initiates change as opposed to reaction to events.
Which makes sense. When we are in reaction, we are reacting to events around us. Someone cuts us off in traffic and we react with a swear word or a fist shake. A job ad is posted in the newspaper and we react by submitting an application. We get a tickle in our throat and we react by drinking water.
Our reactions are triggered by events outside of us. Pretty simple really. Our reactions are usually conditioned habits or instinctive responses, in which choice plays a very small role. We bounce up against people and situations and live in a state of constant reaction. But it gets a bit tiring after a while. I guess my question is... is that a efficient, productive, satisfying, healthy way to live life?
What would it be like if we lived a life in proaction, instead of reaction? What would that look like? The definition of proaction would suggest that we take action which initiates change in our lives. Instead of our lives being dictated by external events, our lives would be dictated by us.
We would drink more water - not because our throats are dry or we have a tickle - but because we know that drinking water is healthy.
We wouldn't wait for a job ad to be posted, but we would do research into a business that matches our interests and skills and submit an employment proposal to them.
We wouldn't wait for life to come to us. We would go out and meet life head-on.
I realize that many of the career choices I have made have been out of reaction rather than proaction. I got a high mark on the BC Provincial Exams in geology - so went into geology, despite the fact that originally I was looking at a career in Fish & Wildlife. I went for a post-graduate degree because someone suggested it would be a good idea. I slid over into forestry because an acquaintance offered me a job. All of these decisions were made out of reaction. I was drifting with the flow of life, but not really seizing the day.
In many ways, I have abdicated responsibility for my career(s). Yes, I chose to accept those offers, but the offers were made first. I responded to an action/event. I didn't initiate it. And therein lies the rub. Do I want to continue to live my life that way? It's certainly easy... but it is also, in the long run, stressful. I have given control of my destiny to others, rather than seizing it for myself.
Part of the problem lies in in the fact that I excel in so many areas of life/skills. Others look at me, see what I am capable of and say "you would be perfect in this career". I go along with that, but the career is not really a fit for me. I am not passionate about it. I have made a decision out of reaction, not proaction.
Which leads me to this... if I am going to live my life out of proaction, I actually need to DO something. I need to "take action" to "initiate change" in my life. If I want to be a writer... then I need to write. And market my writing. And send out queries to publishers. And develop a social media profile that promotes me and my work.
Saturday, February 7, 2015
"What Are You Waiting For" (Nickelback)
As I was driving to Starbucks this morning - my weekly treat to myself - I thought about last weekend and how the foggy roads had given me inspiration for a blog posting. The roads were not foggy this morning... but as the thought came to me, I tuned in to the song that was playing on the radio. It was by Nickelback. They do have a distinctive sound! I caught the tail end of the song and the refrain was:
Hmmm... a message from the universe?? When I got to Starbucks, I listened to the entire song on YouTube.
And... well... clearly it IS a message from the universe. Not just for me, but I would guess for most people. But I'm not writing for other people, I'm writing for me.
They lyrics document a lot of my excuses:
I want to write articles. But I don't. What am I waiting for?
I want to create another blog about Living a Simple Life and Making a Difference. What am I waiting for?
For approval? For acclaim? For an invitation? Crazy, really. But procrastination is an insidious, creeping blight upon my life. "I'll start tomorrow". "I'll do it next week."
Enough.
What are you waiting for?
Hmmm... a message from the universe?? When I got to Starbucks, I listened to the entire song on YouTube.
And... well... clearly it IS a message from the universe. Not just for me, but I would guess for most people. But I'm not writing for other people, I'm writing for me.
They lyrics document a lot of my excuses:
What are you waiting for?I have been working on the book about my grandfather for years. Years. I want to have it published. But I hesitate. What am I waiting for? More research? The right time? The perfect manuscript? A lightening strike? The moment when I feel "ready"? What does that even mean - "ready"?
What are you waiting for?
Are you waiting on a lightning strike?
Are you waiting for the perfect night?
Are you waiting till the time is right?
What are you waiting for
Don't you wanna learn to deal with fear
Don't you wanna take the wheel and steer
Don't you wait another minute here
What are you waiting for?
You gotta go and reach for the top
Believe in every dream that you got
You only living one so tell me?
What are you, what are you waiting for?
You know you gotta give it your all
And don't you be afraid if you fall
You only living one so tell me?
What are you, what are you waiting for?
Are you waiting for the right excuse?
Are you waiting for a sign to choose
While your waiting it's the time you lose
What are you waiting for?
Don't you wanna spread your wings and fly?
Don't you wanna really live your life?
Don't you wanna love before you die?
What are you waiting for?
You gotta go and reach for the top
Believe in every dream that you got
You only living one so tell me?
What are you, what are you waiting for?
You know you gotta give it your all
And don't you be afraid if you fall
You only living one so tell me?
What are you, what are you waiting for?
Tell me what your waiting for
Show me what your aiming for
What you gonna save it for?
So what you really waiting for?
Tell me what your waiting for
Show me what your aiming for
What you gonna save it for?
So what you really waiting for?
Everybody's gonna make mistakes
But everybody's got a choice to make
Everybody needs a leap of faith
When are you taking yours?
You gotta go and reach for the top
Believe in every dream that you got
You only living one so tell me?
I want to write articles. But I don't. What am I waiting for?
I want to create another blog about Living a Simple Life and Making a Difference. What am I waiting for?
For approval? For acclaim? For an invitation? Crazy, really. But procrastination is an insidious, creeping blight upon my life. "I'll start tomorrow". "I'll do it next week."
Enough.
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
The Dreaded B-word... Budget
I've been doing a little crash course in finances. I've been reading books and watching YouTube videos by Canada's financial guru - Gail Vaz Oxlade. Gail is to Canada what Suze Orman is to the United States.I posted a blog a few weeks back on one of Gail's books, Money Rules. I gobbled up the book and am now working my way through another one of her books - It's Your Money.
One of the things that Gail stresses is that everyone (that means you... and me) needs to keep track of our money. We need to know where we're spending our hard-earned dollars.
I have to admit, I sort of went "Yeah right. I know where my money goes. I'm always under budget." I had done a rough budget based on my monthly disposable income, and I figured I was good. I am not one of those Money Morons.
Right.
I decided I wanted to participate in a financial challenge Gail had set up called My Money, My Choices. Easy peasy, I thought.
Not so fast! The first step was to do a spending analysis over the space of 6 months. Oh bugger. OK, fine... I decided I would go through all of my account and credit card statements from 2014 and track where I had spent my money. That would count, right?
It took a while... but I managed it. A beautiful Excel spreadsheet that detailed all of my discretionary spending in 2014 (joint household spending is a whole different critter, in another file/spreadsheet and much better organized).
So... there I sat... and was rather stunned by the numbers. Gulp. I seemed to be a... a... Money Moron!
I had overspent my disposable income by... get this... 150%. Uh-oh. Not only that... most of the excess came from a little category called Cash. I have watched enough "Til Debt Do Us Part" and "Princess" shows to be able to hear Gail's voice in my head... "We have NO idea where that cash went!" Nope... not a clue. I think some went to Starbucks, but the rest... not a friggin' clue!
Oh boy... I was in big trouble.
I use two tools for this. An OpenSource accounting program called GnuCash. I created virtual sub-accounts to tuck away budgeted amounts. I keep track of what's in my various accounts. I keep track of how much I've spent in the various categories in a month. It's a rudimentary program (it doesn't link to your online accounts - you have to enter everything manually) but I like it.
I also have an Excel spreadsheet where I do the pretty colours (I like colours) and get a nice overview of my budgeted amounts and my monthly expenditures at a glance. I've got a few fancy calculations that let me know how I am doing in each category. Perfect.
As for "cash"... I am tracking that down to the last penny. Except we don't have pennies anymore, so I guess you could say I'm tracking that down to the last nickel! If I spend $1.95 cash on a Timmies coffee... that goes into GnuCash and eventually into my spreadsheet. If I spend $3.62 for a Starbucks hot chocolate (off my Starbucks Gold Card), I deduct that from my Gold Card balance in GnuCash and update my spreadsheet. I generally update my cash expenditures daily (otherwise I'll forget) and my credit card expenditures every three days.
Based on my 2014 numbers, I obviously had to rejig my original "rough budget". [Is there actually such a thing as a "Rough Budget" or is that an oxymoron?] I took a look at my 2014 averages and implemented some serious cuts in most of the categories (Starbucks and Books took big hits). So far it's going well.
Now, a confession. When I was a kid, I had a piggy bank - not a piggy... just a metal tin with a slot on top and a tiny padlock. Every week, I would empty everything out and count how much was in my piggy bank. I knew what I had in resources, down to the last penny (we had pennies back then). My Mom used to call me "King Midas in her Counting House".
I'm not sure what happened between then and now. Most likely, because I've always had more than enough disposable income, I never really felt a need to keep track of things. But now, being on a more restricted income, I need to track things more closely. Actually... Gail would say that everyone needs to do a spending analysis - whether you have tonnes of money coming in or not. I would agree...
Sunday, February 1, 2015
Update on the Hot Chocolate Situation
Soooo... how did I do with Starbucks in January? Pretty good actually. I spent less than $20 going to Starbucks, which is very good. I limited myself to weekend visits and stayed away on the weekdys. Which is super good!
On the other hand, since I was spending more time working from home, I found that I was craving a hot chocolate in the mornings. I tried a President's Choice powdered hot chocolate which you add to hot milk. Disgusting. So I bought the Starbucks boxed hot chocolate packets. Eight packets to a box... $9/box. Pricey. No doubt about it.
So a few blogs ago, I found a "DIY Starbucks Hot Chocolate" online. It seemed quite simple. Cocoa, sugar, milk, vanilla extract. Cheap too.... For $9, I could get a big tin of pure cocoa powder and make umpteen cups of hot chocolate. Way cheaper.
Yesterday I gave it a whirl. I think I used a bit too much milk but the final product was very drinkable - quite delicious in fact! It did taste a bit sweet to me... and I only used 1.5 tablespoons of sugar instead of the recommended 2 tablespoons. So I will have to tweak the sugar down a bit. That's the beauty of making your own hot chocolate. You can adjust the ingredients to match your personal taste buds! Who knew.
I always thought making hot chocolate from cocoa and milk was a long, drawn out process requiring minutes spent stirring milk on the stove, trying to bring it to a simmer without burning it. Pffft... not required! Just nuke the milk in the microwave. Making a hot chocolate from cocoa, milk and sugar is super easy.
Now... I have to admit... my ultimate goal in kicking Starbucks to the curb (at least on weekdays) was twofold. One, I wanted to reduce the amount of money spent on my "habit". I think I've accomplished that. Two, I wanted to reduce my hot chocolate intake and lose a bit of weight in the process. Not there yet.
My goal for February and March is to gradually reduce my hot chocolate intake on weekdays. Ideally to nothing. I figure my tin of cocoa ($9!) can make 30 cups of hot chocolate. Soooo... that should last me for two months as I slowly wean myself away from the sugar, the caffeine and the ultra-licious "mouth-feel" of hot chocolate. Wish me luck!
On the other hand, since I was spending more time working from home, I found that I was craving a hot chocolate in the mornings. I tried a President's Choice powdered hot chocolate which you add to hot milk. Disgusting. So I bought the Starbucks boxed hot chocolate packets. Eight packets to a box... $9/box. Pricey. No doubt about it.
So a few blogs ago, I found a "DIY Starbucks Hot Chocolate" online. It seemed quite simple. Cocoa, sugar, milk, vanilla extract. Cheap too.... For $9, I could get a big tin of pure cocoa powder and make umpteen cups of hot chocolate. Way cheaper.
Yesterday I gave it a whirl. I think I used a bit too much milk but the final product was very drinkable - quite delicious in fact! It did taste a bit sweet to me... and I only used 1.5 tablespoons of sugar instead of the recommended 2 tablespoons. So I will have to tweak the sugar down a bit. That's the beauty of making your own hot chocolate. You can adjust the ingredients to match your personal taste buds! Who knew.
I always thought making hot chocolate from cocoa and milk was a long, drawn out process requiring minutes spent stirring milk on the stove, trying to bring it to a simmer without burning it. Pffft... not required! Just nuke the milk in the microwave. Making a hot chocolate from cocoa, milk and sugar is super easy.
Now... I have to admit... my ultimate goal in kicking Starbucks to the curb (at least on weekdays) was twofold. One, I wanted to reduce the amount of money spent on my "habit". I think I've accomplished that. Two, I wanted to reduce my hot chocolate intake and lose a bit of weight in the process. Not there yet.
My goal for February and March is to gradually reduce my hot chocolate intake on weekdays. Ideally to nothing. I figure my tin of cocoa ($9!) can make 30 cups of hot chocolate. Soooo... that should last me for two months as I slowly wean myself away from the sugar, the caffeine and the ultra-licious "mouth-feel" of hot chocolate. Wish me luck!
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