Tin of Memories

I was in a thrift store the other day, not looking for anything in particular. As I was wandering the aisles, I spotted this lonely Gray Dunn cookie tin.

It's just a cookie tin and to be honest... if I was an objective shopper, I would never have noticed this tin. It's not like I'm a vintage cookie tin shopper. But this particular tin grabbed my attention because it was different.

You see... when I was a kid, we had a tin that looked exactly like this tin. Exactly. Except ours lost the little brass handle over the years. My Mom kept this tin on the bottom shelf of the baking cupboard, a cupboard that always smelled like Dr. Oetker baking extracts (bitter-almond, vanilla, rum), sugar and baking. It was the most delicious smelling cupboard ever.

The cookie tin had a tight-fitting lid and my sister and I always had to haul on the handle to get the lid to come off. Sometimes we'd have to pry at the edge to get the lid off. It was a challenging operation and a noisy one particularly if we were trying to sneak a cookie when Mom wasn't looking. But once we were inside, there were all sorts of treasures in there. If it was Christmas, there might be Christmas cookies. If it was just a regular time of year, we might find Dare Fudge Chocolate cookies in there... so good. (Sort of like Fudgeeos but way better... and Canadian to boot!) I can hear the sound of the lid coming off the tin. I can feel the textured sides. I remember staring at the pictures on the tin and being fascinated by the colours and patterns.

At some point, likely when we went to university, our beloved handle-less cookie tin was consigned to the garbage or perhaps a thrift store. It was gone from our life. But I remembered it and always kind of wished that we had kept it. It was just a... to-be-perfectly-honest... rather ugly looking tin with Asian influences. My Mom clearly didn't have the memories associated with the tin that we did. To me, that tin held so much more than cookies... it held home, shared-baking, love, joy, comfort. It was a tin of memories.

They say that when people have trouble decluttering, it's because they are not willing to let go of the memories and emotions associated with a particular item. I totally get that. This particular cookie tin was manufactured by Gray Dunn cookie-makers in Scotland. They made other tins and I looked at some of those pictures and wasn't moved to get them... not even an iota. But this one... this one contains the memories. I look at the tin and it all comes flooding back... happy memories.

So, there I am in the thrift store and I phone my sister who is 5 years younger. I say "Hey, remember that cookie tin we used to have, that orangey thing with the flowers but without the handle?" Her response... "Uhhhh... not really... ummmm". I told her, with a hint of impatience, that I would send her a picture. Five minutes later I got a text from her that said "YES!! Buy it!". All she had to do was see the tin and she knew everything that I was talking about. The cascade of memories triggered for her as well. She has an 8 year old daughter so perhaps this tin will become their cookie tin and hold their memories as well. Luckily the lid fits a bit looser than ours did... so hopefully the lid stays on a bit longer!

In the end, I paid the princely sum of $1.99 for a tin that sells on eBay for $25. Not bad. I probably wouldn't have paid $25 for the tin but $2 was a small price to pay for the memories.

Revisiting my Starbucks Addiction

I subscribe to a few minimalist blog posts and one them shared a link to a blog about a Port Moody woman who decided to do a yearlong shopping ban. The blog post was written after she had finished her year-long experiment and shared her learnings.

One of the things she gave up was a latte a day habit. I winced a bit when I read that. Yeah, $5/day does add up over time. She said it took her almost 9 months to get over that habit. In her words

The takeout coffee ban also had a huge win, as it was during this time that I finally started to feel like spending $5 on a latte was a huge waste of money. I just stopped valuing the drink and the experience that came with it.

Oh geez. I'm sitting in Starbucks as I write this... sipping my $3.62 grande hot chocolate. Yeah... so much for kicking Starbucks to the curb. I am a great rationalizer. Like a supremo-prime-expert rationalizer. I've been biking to Starbucks on weekday afternoons and rationalizing that I've just exercised and that I do great writing at Starbucks - ergo... I can justify/rationalize my Starbucks habit.

It came as a bit of a wake-up call to realize that getting over my Starbucks habit could take as long as 9 months. I don't know what I was thinking... that 66 days would be enough (the latest scientific number for how many days it takes to form a habit). When I gave up drinking Coke on July 7, 2009, it took me months and months before I no longer craved the sugar and the caffeine.

I've tried to give up my Starbucks habit several times over the last 6 months... sometimes for as long as a week but... it never lasted. I can always rationalize a visit... On top of that, I've put on a couple of pounds in the last 6 months... chalk that up to hot chocolate and beer - empty liquid calories. Yeah sure, they make me feel good... at least temporarily, but in the long run, I feel like crap.

I know what's required... a choice to stop... and self-discipline and committment to myself to honour my choice and my word. That's all. Sounds easy... so why is it so hard?

I've read a lot about forming habits... start small, be accountable, don't miss two days in a row, change the triggers, set up reminders, don't change too many habits at once. But really... it all comes down to the that initial choice/decision. I haven't really decided yet... because if I had... I wouldn't be here at Starbucks sipping a hot chocolate!

I'm going to be 50 in about 5 months... a milestone if there ever was one. When that auspicious day comes... do I want to be headed downwards (fatter, slower, more tired) or upwards (leaner, faster, more energy)? It's up to me...

Nickle & Dimed by Big Banks

I've been an RBC customer since 1977, that's 38 years. Most of my financial products are with RBC:

• 3 chequing accounts (one US)
• 2 savings accounts
• RRSP
• RESP
• TFSA
• 2 current mortgages (and another one in the past)
• non-registered investments
• RBC Visa - but I never use it

I would think that I qualify as a loyal RBC customer. My financial planners, of which I've had four over the last 20 years, have generally been very accommodating. My US chequing account has no fees and the other two chequing accounts qualify for the multi-product rebate (when you have a mortage, investment and credit card with RBC). Excellent.

Unfortunately, the times are a-changing. Back in June, the Big Banks upped their banking fees. As it turned out... I would now have to make sure that my RBC Visa card was "active", meaning I needed to use it every 90 days. I frowned. I have a BMO MC that collects Airmiles points. That's the only card I use. I basically only have the RBC Visa because it was offered to me and when I travel, I like to have both a Visa and a MC.

I started using the Visa... but now there was one more bill to keep track of. I was less than pleased. Last week I met with my RBC financial planner. I expressed my dissatisfaction with the whole "active Visa" thing and she thought I was pulling her leg. She looked it up and to her surprise found that I was correct. I suggested that she, as a financial planner, had the power to waive fees. I played the "long-time, loyal customer" card... pointed out all of the financial products I have and have had with RBC. She said she would look into it.

When I got home, I reviewed the chequing accounts and learned, much to my surprise that one account no longer got the full multi-product rebate. I sent a disgruntled email to my financial planner. The next day she replied. She had reversed the charges for the one account and gotten the ongoing fees waived. But for the other account... I would need to keep using the Visa to get the multi-product rebate. So much for perks for loyal customers.

The bank fees for that account add up to $60/year. The other chequing account has fees that total $132/year. And neither account earns interest. I was not pleased. The RBC financial planner has been pushing me to move some pension investments from an insurance company into RBC. They want all my business. But... on their terms. Welll... guess what... it's my money and there are better deals out there.

Over the last two years, I've opened several accounts in Tangerine Banking (formerly ING Direct) - savings, chequing, investments. No fee-chequing that earns 0.25% interest.  Savings accounts that earn 1.05% interest with periodic bonus interest for new deposits. Easy online banking.

The one thing that's been stopping me from making the switch is... I think it's a hassle to move all those pre-authorized payments and bill payees. I did a bit of scouting on Tangerine yesterday and figured out that it wasn't all that hard. I even changed my Canada Revenue Agency direct deposit from RBC to Tangerine. I'm starting to make the switch.

Oh... and right now, Tangerine has a deal where if you switch your payroll direct-deposit to them, they will give you $10/month for a year... $120 is nothing to sneeze at. And in case you're wondering... Tangerine is owned by ScotiaBank so you can use your Tangerine bank card at any ScotiaBank machine... convenient.

I also learned that you can switch your RRSPs to another bank (or credit union). RBC apparently charges $135 to part with RRSPs but some receiving banks will cover that fee... I'm going to check out some local credit unions and see if they would like my investments.

I sent a reply back to financial planner asking her: (a) could I switch my safety deposit box fee from my chequing account to my savings account (my original account from 1977) and (b) how much was RBCs fee to move RRSPs. Let her chew on that when she gets into the office on Monday. I'm ditching the chequing accounts but may keep my original RBC savings account. Or not. In the end, I might move my safety deposit box to a local credit union as well.

Which would leave RBC holding our two mortgages. One is fixed and has 2.5 years left. One is variable and has just over 4 years left. My financial planner keeps telling me that we need to lock in that variable mortgage. Interest rates can't go much lower you know. She suggested that in April that we should lock-in... and guess what... interest rates dropped last week. So glad we didn't take her advice to lock-in. But of course... she works for RBC and it's in their best interests to have us lock-in when interest rates are going down. Silly me... I thought she had my best interests at heart.

So... what happens when our mortgages come up for renewal RBC? Yeah, a few thousand dollars in a chequing account aren't much of a loss for you guys... but think about the RRSP... think about the mortgages. Them's big bucks... and they are going to fly out your doors... all because a financial planner wouldn't waive $60/year fees for a loyal, long-term client. I'm tired of being nickel & dimed by bank fees. Good-bye RBC...

The Power of Positive Tickets

Have you heard of Ward Clapham? Nope, me neither, until I came across a cool news story.

Imagine that you're a kid riding your bike along the street. A cop pulls up beside you and waves you to pull over. Your heart starts beating faster. Did you do something wrong? Are you in trouble? Uh-oh!! The cop gets out of his vehicle with his ticket book in hand. With a smile, he writes you a ticket for wearing your helmet... a positive ticket... complete with a free movie ticket. Wow! What a concept.

Ward Clapham
(From Positive Tickets website)

This idea of writing positive tickets was the brainchild of former RCMP Superintendent Ward Clapham. He had noticed that Canadian youth saw the police as hunters, as the enemy... and he wanted to do something to alter that relationship. Rather than waiting for youth to commit a crime and reacting to that, Clapham encouraged his officers to be proactive and engage with youth from a different place, one of building relationships. You see, the tickets are really only the vehicle to allow police to build relationships with youth Over time, youth who engaged with police went from seeing them as the enemy to seeing them as friends. A paradigm shift.

Clapham likes to quote a former president of Ecuador who reportedly said:

Without a relationship, there is a problem for every solution.
With a relationship, there is a solution for every problem.

It really doesn't matter who is involved. Police and youth. Employer and employees. Israelis and Palestinians. Greece and Europe. If there is no relationship, then no matter what is suggested, everything will be a problem. But if there is a relationship, everything can be solved. Building relationships is key. Without relationships, it is easy to demonize the other side. They become the enemy and they are saddled with labels. The real secret to peace is to connect with a specific individual from the other side - to get to know someone on a personal level.